A Matter of Pride
by Tayk
Summary: Terracentric. The details of Terra's past as I imagine it and her adventures after Aftershock and Things Change. This story gives reasons for all the little comments and actions that don't quite make sense. Rated for violence and character death.
1. Siblings

A/N: My second attempt at a Terra-centric story. This has absolutely no Fushigi Yuugi in it whatsoever (thank goodness)! It starts with a time before Terra was born and goes up to the beginning of the next story, A Matter of Hope (we'd planned for four AMO stories, back before AMOT was even started. Pride was not one of the four concepts planned, but I'm doing it anyway). And, also, don't flame me because you hate Terra. Flame me because you hate the plot, writing style, OCs, ect. Not because you hate Terra.

This fic is largely based off of small comments in the Terra arc that don't seem to fit quite right, small actions that didn't have explanations. Such as, why did Terra opt to destroy the T-car in Aftershock 1, instead of simply altering the course of her weapons? Why did Beast Boy say, "I know all the terrible things she's done, exactly how messed up she is!"? I made up explanations and this is the result.

**IMPORTANT! READ THIS: There's no Terra in this chapter. Go figure, eh? This chapter is to set up the story and let you become familiar with Rhea and Keb.** That said, I'm pretty sure that the next chapter will be Terra.

Disclaimer: Story-wide. I do not own Teen Titans. I do own Rhea, Keb, and Delani (to an extent).

Full Summary: Terra-centric. Basically, if you hate Terra, don't read this. This story details Terra's past as I imagine it and describes her adventures after the events of Aftershock. Rated T for (sometimes repeated) character death. Planned to be TerraOC.

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter one; Siblings  
**

Rhea's Diary  
Dear Diary,

My name is Rhea. I am nine years old. I got this diary for Christmas. Daddy says that I should write about myself. He says that no one will ever read it. I believe him when he says that. Mommy died a year ago - the doctors said that she had _leukemia_ but I don't know what that is - and I don't have any brothers or sisters. Daddy says that he won't ever read it. Daddy wouldn't lie to me.

He says he's 'going out with' a woman he met at work and maybe I'll have a new mommy. I don't want a new mommy. I want my Mommy back. Daddy says that this lady has a son, and he might be my brother. He says that our names are the same. I'd like to have a brother. I've never had any brothers or sisters before.

It's time for me to go to bed now. Goodnight, Dear Diary.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

Daddy took me to meet his girlfriend today. She had her son with him. He's a lot older than me! His name is Keb. He said he was fifteen. And he was cute! I blushed when he smiled at me. Daddy laughed.

Keb... He's real cute. He's tall, lots taller than me, and his skin is sort of darkish-tan. Mine is pale pinkish. His hair was kind of goldish-brown and his eyes are real pretty, too, but they're dark and I can't tell the exact color. I tried to look like I wasn't looking, but he noticed and smiled at me again. My face went all hot and I had to look away.

Diary, what does a crush feel like? I think I've just got my first one.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

I haven't written in a while! Sorry! Daddy's getting married. He's getting married to Keb's mommy. They want me to be the flower girl! I'm excited! I've never been a flower girl before. I get to wear a pretty dress and have my hair done up real pretty and throw flower petals! My dress is going to be green, except a lighter color of green than my eyes. Momma, that's what Daddy's new wife told me to call her, said that the dress will make my eyes look very pretty and that it will go with my hair, too. I can't wait!

Keb is in the wedding, too. He's the ring bearer. That means he stands around and has to be bored until the very end, and then he comes up with their wedding rings on a pillow and they give them to each other. He has to wear a suit and a tie. I'll bet he looks really nice in them.

Daddy was worried that I would be mad at him for getting married to Momma, so soon after Mommy died. But I told him that Momma makes him happy, and I saw that, so it was OK. Besides, I wanted Keb to be my brother. That way, we could spend all our time together!

I have to go, now. I'm helping Momma pick out her dress!  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

The wedding is tomorrow! I can't wait! I'm so excited! While Daddy and Momma go on their honeymoon, Keb and me will stay with Momma's parents. I haven't met them, but Keb looked happy about that, so I think they're nice.  
Rhea  
---  
Keb's Journal  
August 15, 1988  
My name is Keb. I'm sixteen years old, yesterday. I live with my mother. Father left her when I was small - ran off with another girl, I think, but Mother never talks about him any more. I don't care that much about him, either way. I'm kind of a solitary person. I like drawing more than I like people. Well, that's not saying much. I don't have many friends at my school but I think I've got a fan club. Whenever I go through the hallways, I hear giggling, and everyone around me seems either scared or jealous. I don't know why. It's creepy, the way they follow me.

Why am I writing in this book about myself? I'm the only one that will ever read it. Is it normal to talk to the journal like it's a person? I don't know. This is a new thing for me.  
Keb  
---  
August 21, 1988  
Mother is dating a man from her work (she's a newspaper journalist). She has been for about five months, but I've never met him. Today, she took me to meet him and his daughter. I shook his hand and greeted him politely. I don't resent the fact that he's dating my mother. She's raised me on her own for the past ten years - it's about time she started seeing someone, in my opinion!

Just in case you're wondering, no, I've never dated anyone.

(I can't believe I'm talking to a book. How pathetic am I?)  
(Ack, asking the book questions now...)

Anyway, Mr. Miller has a little daughter, maybe eight or nine. I've never been good at guessing ages but she looked around there. She was cute, in a little kid way, with these big green eyes and brown hair, done in a sloppy ponytail. She blushed when I smiled at her and stared at me when she thought I wouldn't notice. Had my fan club (groan) gained a new member? I hope not. This will be interesting...  
Keb  
---  
September 12, 1988  
One of the girls in my fan club (gag) asked me out. I politely declined. I don't want to date anyone. At least, not yet. It's not my style. I'd rather just draw a picture. Does that make any sense?  
Keb  
---  
September 29, 1988  
Nothing much has happened in my life... There's never anything much going on. Except - oh! The fan club stopped following me, thank _goodness_! There's a new kid at school and they're following him around now.

I can't help but feel sorry for the guy. All that giggling... I shudder just thinking about it. Maybe we could work together and disband the fan club or something.  
Keb  
---  
October 31, 1988  
Halloween. Some of the guys in my class egged their neighborhoods. That strikes me as heartless. Halloween is a night for little kids to dress up and get free candy. Why throw eggs at them?

Why am I still writing in this book? I don't even do it often. It's kind of embarrassing... I hope no one ever reads this...  
Keb  
---  
November 17, 1988  
Thanksgiving was today. Mother and I went to Denver, Colorado and celebrated with our entire family. Mother came from a pretty big family. We ate outdoors because not everyone could fit in Aunt Amy's house! And Aunt Amy has a big house. I liked seeing everyone again. My cousins were always the best friends I ever had. We only see each other on Thanksgiving, and sometimes at the Fourth of July and Christmas. But not usually. Mostly, it's just Thanksgiving.

I can't wait until next year. I'm already excited.  
Keb  
---  
January 4, 1989  
I haven't written in a while. Here's why: Mr. Miller (okay, okay, fine, _Luke_) proposed to Mother! I don't think I've ever seen her happier. Actually, he proposed sometime in December. The wedding was to be _immediately_ so we've all been busy preparing for their wedding, even little Rhea. She's so excited. It's cute. I won't have any trouble thinking of her as my sister from now on.

Mother said that the two of us get to stay at Grandmother Becky's house while she and Luke are away on their honeymoon. She and my Grandfather Fred live pretty close to us. That is, Mother and me. We see them often and I enjoy going to visit them... even if Grandmother Becky calls me by the wrong name and Grandfather Fred keeps cracking weird jokes.

They'll love Rhea, too. She's a sweet little girl. I got to know her during the times when Luke and Mother were planning for their wedding. Well, sort of. She blushes and runs away whenever she sees me. Luke laughed and told me that she's normally not so shy. Maybe it's just that she's not used to having siblings?

Whatever. I'm tired and going to bed now. I'll write more later... maybe. I'm still not sure why I write in this thing.  
Keb  
---  
Rhea's Diary  
Dear Diary,

That was so much fun! I hope I get to be in a wedding again! I want to be the flower girl! But I didn't like it when Momma and Daddy kissed at the end. That was gross.

Keb's my brother now! I'm so happy! We'll get to spend lots of time together. I like Keb a lot, but whenever he comes near me, I get so embarrassed! I hope he doesn't notice!  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

Gramma Becky and Grampa Fred are really nice! Except, Gramma Becky keeps calling me Lily (?) and she calls Keb Presley (how do you get Presley out of Keb?). Grampa Fred tells jokes like, "Why did the frog cross the road? 'Cause he was stapled to the chicken!" And then he laughs and Keb laughs along with him, just to be polite, and I kind of giggle a little bit.

That poor frog! And the poor chicken, too! I got poked by a staple once, just on my thumb, and that hurt a lot! I don't ever want to actually staple myself.

Anyway, Gramma Becky likes to bake. She made us cookies. Grampa Fred got smacked when he tried to take one, though, because his 'diabetes was acting up and he shouldn't have any sugar or anything for a while' apparently. So Keb and me ate them and played Scrabble with Gramma Becky and Grampa Fred. I teamed up with Grampa Fred because I don't know enough words to play by myself and be any good.

It's kinda late... I wonder if I'll be able to sneak another cookie before bedtime.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

It's been a whole week since I last wrote! I can't believe it. Momma and Daddy got back today. We all went home - Daddy, Momma, Keb, and me. Momma and Keb sold their house already, and they were staying in a hotel until Momma and Daddy were married. Now they live with us!

We live near some mountains. Our house is surrounded by big cliffs. Keb and me will have to walk about a mile to get to the bus stop (I like the walk, even though Daddy always offers to drive me. When it rains, I let him). Keb didn't look real happy when he found out but I think he'll like it. It's pretty, the little flowers growing out of the cliffs.

I've got school tomorrow. Time to sleep. Goodnight, Dear Diary.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written for a while. Nothing much has been happening. Keb is my friend, now, though. I don't blush when he gets near me anymore. At least, not so much. It's not too noticeable.

Katie, my best friend (I can't believe I haven't wrote about her!) says that I'm lucky to have such a nice brother. She has a brother, too, and he's annoying. He's younger than Keb is, but older than us. I don't like being around him.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

I got an A on my math test! I hate math, so I'm excited! My teacher said that I was getting so much better. Keb and Daddy and Momma all helped me study for it. Someday, I'm going to help Keb study for his math test and get an A on it. I'd help Daddy and Momma, but they don't have math tests.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

It's been a long time since I wrote. Two months! I forgot about you. I'm sorry. Momma's pregnant! That means that she's gonna have a baby! I'll have a little brother or sister! I hope it's a girl. I hope she's cute. I want a sister to play with. Keb doesn't like playing Barbies with me, and Daddy and Momma aren't home very much. I wonder what Keb does for fun? He's always in his room. Maybe he'll tell me if I ask, but I don't want to be rude or anything... What should I do?  
Rhea  
---  
Keb's Journal  
January 15, 1989  
Home sweet home... I guess. Mother and I moved in with Luke and Rhea. It's nice here, even if I have to walk a mile to get to the bus stop. The school is a different one than I went to before. It's pretty much in the middle of no where. The people are fairly nice, I guess, but I haven't taken pains to make friends and no one seems interested in 'adopting' the new kid. It's no big deal. I have my artwork, and that's enough for me.

Rhea asked me to play Barbies with her. I tried, I really did! How does she stand it? The whole point of Barbies, it seems, is to dress super-skinny plastic figures in super-tight outfits that look awful... And I'm sorry, but I don't like undressing plastic dolls. Especially female ones. I hope she won't be too upset it I don't ever play Barbies with her again.  
Keb  
---  
January 31, 1989  
We all helped Rhea study for her math test a few nights ago and today, she came home excited and hyper. She ran up and hugged me, yelling, "I got an A! I got an A!" She was so happy that I couldn't help but smile and hug her back, congratulating her on a good job. She kind of... squee-d happily and danced in a little circle, hopping around and around waving her arms...

It was a big deal for her, so it became a big deal for everyone. I guess we're a real family now. That's... cool... It's nice, but it's also really strange.  
Keb  
---  
February 10, 1989  
Rhea asked me to play Barbies with her again today. I told her that I had homework to do. I don't, I just didn't want to play Barbies. She looked crestfallen but said okay, homework was more important than playing Barbies. She retreated to her room and I to mine. I pulled out my sketchbook and started to draw. I like drawing. It's quiet and a good drawing doesn't necessarily take up as much room as a good piece of writing. I'm good at it, too, kind of.  
Keb  
---  
February 14, 1989  
I hate Valentine's day. A lot. At least three girls asked me out. (Groan) Guess what I said. Yup, that's right. I said no. Luke and Mother went to a fancy restaurant. They dropped Rhea and me at the nearest McDonalds and we ate there. Well, at least no one I know was there.  
Keb  
---  
February 27, 1989  
There's nothing to write down. Nothing's been happening. I'll write when something happens.  
Keb  
---  
March 5, 1989  
Luke said that I need to go out more. He called up some girls from my school and asked them out for me. I think I might have whined, and pitifully at that. Tomorrow, I'm going on my first ever date. Wish me luck.  
Keb  
---  
March 6, 1989  
I'm nervous. This date spells disaster for me. Why did I let Luke get me into this? And why am I still going along with it?  
Keb  
---  
March 6, 1989 (Entry two)

That was TERRIBLE! I am NEVER doing that again! EVER! I can't believe I let Luke talk me into that. I want to remember this, and know why I'll never ask a girl out in the future. So I'll write it down:

We went to an Italian restaurant. Luke gave me money to pay for it. Leigh met me at the door and practically clung to me the whole time. (Groan) I led her/dragged her/fled to a window seat. She sat on one side. I sat on the other. We ordered and talked while we waited for our food. Well, actually, she talked and I pretended to be listening. Our food came and I pretended to be too absorbed in my food to say anything. She was, too, for real. Disgusting.

After dinner, I paid and wondered if I could escape yet. She, all coy and syrup (gag), batted her eyelashes and asked if I'd walk her home. "I don't live far," she said, "only a couple blocks away." Politeness did not allow me to reject her... So we ended up walking out of the restaurant. She still clung to me. About halfway down the block, she leaned toward me and puckered out her lips. I'm kind of ashamed of myself, but I pushed her away quite roughly and ran. Not a polite thing to do at all, but I didn't want to be dating her, let alone kissing! I ran all the way home. Luke asked me how it went. I could only glare at him.

Now... What am I going to do when I see Leigh at school tomorrow?  
Keb  
---  
March 24, 1989  
Leigh hasn't talked to me, thank goodness. Luke hasn't set up any more dates for me. I am eternally grateful for that. There's big news - Mother is pregnant! I didn't expect that. By the time the baby is born, I'll be seventeen. That's a big gap. Rhea will be ten, I think. Her birthday is sometime in June, I think, or July. Not completely sure. Anyway, Rhea is very, very excited. I am, too, I guess. It was a shock to be sure, but it's... exciting. A brother or sibling by blood, rather than law? A new thing for me.

I'm still not so great at writing long entries. I'm done for now, probably another couple weeks. I'm going to go draw... it's all I'm really good at. I want to get a career in art one day but with my grades, I'll probably end up as a cashier at McDonald's.  
Keb  
---  
March 27, 1989

Rhea came up to me today and asked what I do in my room all the time. I was surprised. I thought she already knew. She looked all shy and nervous, like she thought I'd hurt her or something. I told her to wait a minute and went to my room to get my sketchbook. I flipped through it in my room until I found a picture of Rhea that I'd been working on, on and off. I really liked this picture. I'd shaded it and done a little bit of color and it looked exactly like her. Almost.

She was delighted. She asked me if I drew pictures a lot, so I showed her some others. Who knew that someone would actually think that my drawing were so good? All I saw were the mistakes. Go figure.  
Keb  
---  
Rhea's Diary  
Dear Diary,

I asked Keb what he always did in his room. I thought he'd tell me to go away, Katie's brother always says mean things like that, but he didn't. He showed me a picture he drew! It was of me! And it was really good, I felt like I was looking in a mirror! He got embarrassed when I told him that though and said it wasn't as good as I said it was. But it's really good, honest, cross my heart and hope to die it is!  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

I'm not gonna write in you for a while. I took you to school that one time, remember? And I was going to write in you... But Jessica, that mean girl, she took you and read you aloud! To our whole class! Everyone laughed at me... I don't want them to tease me, so I'm not going to write in you very much... only for big things, and when the baby is born and stuff... I hope you don't mind. I'm sorry.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

I'm ten now. It feels weird for me to write in you after all this time... My birthday is today. I'm supposed to be at the party right now. I just wanted to tell you.  
Rhea  
---  
Dear Diary,

The baby was born today! It's a girl - I've got a sister! I'm so excited! I'm so happy! I've got a little sister! Her name is Delani, and it's pronounced like Deli, sort of. Dell-ay-nee. It's a pretty name, I think. She's absolutely adorable. I'm so excited! Delani... I can't wait until she grows up a little bit. I know we'll be best friends forever and ever. We'll play together and talk together and we can sometimes have sleepovers, meaning she sleeps in my room or I sleep in her room instead of we sleep in our own rooms every night. Aren't you so happy, Diary?  
Rhea  
---

Dear Diary,

It's been years since I've written in this silly little book. Looking back on all my entries, I cannot believe how naive I was... how stupid. I believed that Delani would be my friend? I was a fool.

My name is Rhea Miller. I am twenty-six years old. My father, Lucas Miller, and my step-mother, Katherine Miller, are dead. My step-brother, Keb Miller, is dead. I should be dead, but I am not. So I will take this second chance to kill Delani, once and for all.

Rhea.

---


	2. Born

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Teen Titans. I own Rhea, Keb, their parents, and Delani (to an extent).

**Author's notes:** I've gotten one review so far, and that's great, but I'm a little bit apprehensive still about posting this chapter. I feel like it's rushed. So. Opinions? They're very good. And I'm not just trying to get reviews here, I'm totally insecure and I want to know how I'm doing.

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Two; Born**

"Keb? Did you get accepted to that art college you wanted to go to?" Keb grinned and offered his mother the letter of acceptance from said college.

"It's less than half an hour away," he explained again, "so I don't have to move out. Unless you want me to," he added.

"No, of course not! The girls would be devastated if you left, and you know that Luke and I love having you around." Katherine Miller bounced her one-year-old daughter Delani on her hip, supporting the girl with one arm while holding Keb's letter in the other. Delani giggled lightly and held her arms out to Keb, begging to be held. Her brother obligingly took her and cuddled her tightly.

"And you know I'd be sad if I had to leave for so long," Keb replied. He smiled a little bit. His family was not the most normal - normal families did not have a seventeen year gap between children - but they were as loving as any.

---

Two-year-old Delani Miller looked at her family with big blue eyes. It was her second birthday. She didn't really understand that, but the general mood of happiness was contagious. Her older sister, Rhea, was smiling widely and holding Delani against her hip, occasionally bouncing the girl. Keb was smiling, too, in a more reserved manner. Delani liked Keb. He wasn't too loud and he wasn't too rough and he liked to play with her. Her mom and dad were busily lighting the candles on the cake and shifting a few brightly wrapped presents. Rhea and Keb came over, with her of course, and the four older family members sang.

"Make a wish, 'Lani!" Rhea chirped, jostling her gently. "And blow out the candles!" Delani turned her head toward her big sister and stared blankly. Rhea leaned toward the cake, holding Delani out toward it, and blew out the candle. She tried to make it look like Delani was blowing, but no one was fooled. Katherine Miller, Delani's mother, cut the cake into slices and put the slices onto plates. Each plate then received a scoop of ice cream, courtesy of Luke Miller, and then was handed to each person in turn. Keb mashed Delani's cake and ice cream together, a mixture which looked unappetizing but tasted good. Delani ate it eagerly, using her fork with the clumsy hand that toddlers use for such things. She didn't understand that it was her birthday, a special day, but she knew that her family was happy, that she was eating cake and ice cream, and that all was right with the world.

---

Delani Miller, four years old, crouched terrified in her bedroom. Something big was coming. She didn't know what, but she could feel it inside of her... rising... trying to break free.

Delani screamed as unbearable pain wracked her body. Everything disappeared in the blinding yellow light that came _from her eyes_ and warm, almost burning energy surrounded her. Delani arched her back against the pain and clamped her eyes closed to block out the light - not that either did any good. The floor beneath her cracked and shook horribly. Delani was terrified and her terror only added volume to her screams.

She didn't notice her family in the doorway, staring at her. She couldn't see what they saw - little Delani, surrounded by a tornado of yellow light that came from no where, whipping her blond hair wildly, her eyes open but blank and giving off more yellow light. Her back was arched and she was screaming. The ground was rolling, like the waves of the ocean, except made of dirt and plaster and concrete.

Then, suddenly, the pain that threatened to consume her stopped. Her screams quieted. The yellow tornado around her died abruptly. Her expression turned to one of blank shock as the yellow light faded slowly from her eyes. The blue eyes closed. Delani passed out on the floor of her bedroom.

That was the first time she used her powers.

---

"Did we miss any? Delani, darling, why don't you check under the tree?"

It was Christmastime in the Miller household. Delani's sixth Christmas. The presents had been handed out, for the most part. There was a thick layer of snow on the ground outside and more falling. A cheerful fire roared in the grate and everyone had a heap of presents at their feet.

Delani obediently scrambled over her pile of presents and checked under the Christmas tree. She emerged with two small boxes and handed them to Luke, who usually read the tags and handed the presents out.

"This one's to Rhea, and this one's to Delani," Luke read, "Both from Keb." He smiled and handed each girl their present and watched as they eagerly tore off the paper. White boxes lay underneath the pretty wrapping, and inside the box a hair clip that glittered in the light. Rhea's clip was in the shape of a heart, pastel purple. Delani's was a butterfly, pale blue. They both squealed and leaped at Keb, thanking him in delight and promising that they would wear their clips every day, forever. He laughed and hugged them back. Despite the ten-year difference between the sisters, they were remarkably similar.

---

The summer sun beat down harshly on the Miller family home, a lone house in the middle of a very forbidding series of cliffs, but none of the five occupants paid it any heed. Keb was in his room-slash-study, working on a project for his college classes (though it was summer vacation and no one was really sure why he bothered). Rhea sat on the couch watching television. Luke, Katherine, and Delani had gone for a walk through the cliffs.

Delani, six years old, was nervous. She could feel the strange power building inside of her again - this was the fourth time, and every time there had been a bad earthquake and lots of pain - but she smiled to cover it. Luke and Katherine suspected nothing. Delani was glad - she didn't like to worry her parents.

They were almost a mile away from their house when the power finally broke. Delani stiffened and froze, her jaw clenched as she fought against the pain. Her eyes were wide but unseeing and the yellow glow again faded into existence. Luke and Katherine recognized the symptoms instantly and looked at each other. They didn't know what to do. There was no way for them to help.

Delani screamed and fell to her knees, clutching her head. The yellow whirlwind whipped into being, blowing small stones and making the large ones rumble. The earth began to shake.

Delani's parents dropped to their knees beside their daughter. Both attempted to wrap their arms around her, only to have the winds intensify and block them from her. Larger rocks joined the small ones in their circling, recklessly and restlessly, hurtling through the air in infinite loops around the small girl. They would never hit her. The parents, however, were under no such protection.

Luke and Katherine Miller died that day, so near to their daughter, each struck by small, seemingly harmless stones at speeds that killed them instantly. Luke tried to protect Katherine, but to no avail, and each had tried so hard to reach Delani. All this while Delani screamed.

---

Rhea and Keb felt the earthquake even in their home, though it was milder than what Delani and her parents experienced. Keb came to find Rhea, and she to find him, and they shared a concerned glance. Though natural earthquakes were not unheard of in Colorado, they both knew that it was caused by Delani's powers. They ran together without speaking to find their parents and sister.

Delani was curled up beside the unmoving forms of Luke and Katherine Miller. She was sobbing, her arms and legs torn and tinted red with blood. Rhea touched her shoulder while Keb crouched nearby, both concerned for their sister rather than their clearly dead parents. Delani's head jerked up and she looked at her siblings desperately.

"They won't wake up," she whispered. Her voice rose to a cry, then a plaintive wail. "They won't wake up! They're being mean - they won't wake up and it hurts... it hurts... Mommy! Daddy! Wake up!" She collapsed again, sobbing. Keb put an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. He picked her up and stood himself.

"Rhea and I will wake them up later," Keb lied to her soothingly. "For now, I think we need to get you some help. Rhea?" He glanced at his step-sister and she, understanding, moved to block Delani's view of their dead parents. The three siblings, now orphans, started home.

---

Their parents' funeral was a quiet affair, just the three of them really, standing at the graveside after the caskets were lowered. Morbid. Delani didn't really understand what was going on, but she was sad all the same. She knew that her parents wouldn't ever wake up or come home again.

That night, Rhea sat in her room, brooding. "Delani," she whispered. "It's her fault that Momma and Daddy died... it's her fault... It's her fault!" A raging anger flared up in Rhea. Delani's strange powers had been the cause of her parents' death. She was the only one with such powers. Of course it was her fault. Rhea scowled.

She said nothing of her growing dislike for her younger sister, however, and the three lived in peace for another two years. Guardianship was not an issue, as Keb was a legal adult and both qualified and willing to take charge of his younger siblings. Money was not an issue either - Keb's artwork sold well enough to accomodate them, even if they had little to spare when all was said and done. The two older Miller siblings decided it would be best if Delani learned to control her powers. These lessons started when she was halfway through seven. The random outbreaks of energy lessened in the six months that these sessions went on, as if her powers were satisfied enough to have a constant outlet. It didn't take Delani long to find the trigger to release her powers, though she could not always control how much energy would escape and what, exactly, would happen.

---

"'Lani, have I ever told you what your name means?" Keb asked, looping an arm around his younger sister. It was evening and she was exhausted from the day. After school, she had attended another of Keb and Rhea's makeshift lessons.

"Nuh-uh," Delani said tiredly.

"I think it was done on purpose, our names," Keb mused aloud. "Rhea means 'earth'. Keb does, too. But Delani means 'heavens'. So the three of us are like heaven and earth, all living together. Isn't that neat?"

"Mm-hmm."

---

Delani was eight - old enough to really understand the sheer bliss that is summer vacation. And old enough to enjoy it! Her only friends were her older siblings, though Rhea was eighteen and seemed to be colder and more distant than she had been before. Not a lot, but little girls know things like this. Delani was particularly sensitive, it seemed, when it came to her sister's emotions.

"Here, 'Lani, catch!" Keb called, chucking a fist-sized rock at her. Delani laughed and pointed at it. A crackle of yellow energy flew from her fingertip, catching the rock. Delani swung her arm in a wide arc, turning as she did so, and sent the rock flying into the cliff face. It shattered, sending a cloud of sparkling dust down. There must have been some sort of crystal inside. Keb threw another rock to her. This one she caught and send flying straight behind her into the opposite cliff. It rumbled angry at her and suddenly both of her siblings looked panicked. But there was no problem, was there?

"DELANI, LOOK OUT!" Delani looked up to see the cliff crumbled just above her, sending a hundred pounds of boulder crashing down.

Delani froze, watching it with terror-filled eyes. Rhea and Keb, however, were suddenly in motion. Keb was in better shape than Rhea, but she was the one that got to the site a split second before. She collided with Delani and her momentum led the two safely out of harm's way. Keb was not so lucky.

And suddenly, the family of five was reduced to only two.

Rhea slowly climbed off of Delani. The dust was settling and she wanted to see if Keb was alright. He wasn't. There was... a hand... sticking out from underneath the boulder. Keb's hand. Rhea choked, alerting Delani. She, too, saw and recognized the hand.

Delani screamed. Her powers eagerly leapt at the chance to cause chaos and the familiar whirlwind of yellow appeared. Her eyes stayed lucid, however, and she continued to stare at her brother's hand... The cliffs seemed to crumble, crumble beneath the driving force of yellow wind, stones whipping every which way at dizzying speeds. They struck, bounced, struck again. The cliffs. The boulder. Their house. Rhea. Delani herself. They weren't picky. Rhea cried out with each blow to her body. She heard the blunt crack of bone and felt the searing pain. And then there was another pain, as well, a hot flash from hip to opposite shoulder. Rhea saw the red. She felt sick. Blood.

Delani hadn't notice, and didn't notice as Rhea collapsed, clutching futiley at her stomach. When she did, the storm of her powers intensified. Her hands were torn to shreds, as they moved instinctively to block the stones from her face, and her torso and legs were only a little bit better. Her screams grew louder.

The rock beneath her rumbled and lifted, carrying her on a platform of the same stone that had killed her entire family. Delani didn't have the strength to stand anymore - or perhaps it was merely will she lacked. In either case, she collapsed on the stone platform and let it carry her where it pleased.

"Keb, Rhea, Mommy, Daddy," she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Tears spilled freely down her cheeks. Her wails were wordless for a time before she found the words to continue. "My name... Delani... I don't deserve to be Delani! I don't deserve to be heaven! I killed you, I killed you, I'm sorry..." Now, nameless, the girl curled into a tight ball. She shivered from a nonexistant chill, ignoring the pain that burned her hands. "Rhea... Keb... earth. My name... my name will be earth. Terra. Because it means earth."

Delani Miller was dead. Terra was born.


	3. Heal

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Three; Heal**

How long had this darkness surrounded her? Terra didn't know. She didn't want to know - she just didn't care. However, someone else, apparently, did. There was a light tickling the edges of her vision. Terra whimpered and pulled away from it. She could feel herself moving, there was something soft under her that she didn't remember, but it was a detatched feeling - like something in a dream. She could hear strange beeping noises and whirring noises, quiet voices and footsteps. The light persisted, drawing her back into the waking world until it had surrounded her and there was no other choice.

Terra opened her eyes. She blinked, for the unfamiliar eyes of another person were peering back at her. The eyes crinkled in a smile and withdrew. "Ah! You're awake. We were getting rather worried about - don't get up!"

Terra sat up anyway, ignoring the pain that suddenly burned her hands as she did. "Where - " she started to ask. Her voice was rough and scratched at her throat, making her cough. A glass of water was offered to her and she took it gratefully. "Where am I?"

"You're in Denver Hospital, dear," replied the nurse, busily straightening her covers. "You were unconcious when you were brought here and the people that found you didn't know your name - what is it, by the way? And can you tell me anything about what happened?" It all came flooding back to her. Terra pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed into them.

"They're dead!" she said quietly, choking on her tears. "That's what happened. They're dead! I ki - " She cut off. She didn't want to tell that to a stranger. She didn't ever want to say it again.

"You poor dear..." cooed the nurse, rubbing her back gently. Despite herself, Terra was grateful for the comfort. "Would you mind telling me your name, and why you're in such bad shape?"

"My name..." Terra murmured. "My name is Del - Terra. It's Terra. And ..." She scrambled to think up a suitable lie. "There was a landslide. I ... It hit my hands and some of the pebbles hit me. But I'm alright." Terra insisted to herself that she _was_ alright, especially compared to what happened to her family. She pushed the nurse away and swung her feet off the bed, intending to stand. The nurse pushed her back to a laying position.

"You've been through a lot, Terra," said the nurse, gently. "You shouldn't stand up yet. This is the first time you've woken in the week you've been here!"

"I'm okay," Terra repeated, making another attempt to stand up. She was pushed back.

"Don't move too much," the nurse said sternly. "You're badly hurt and there's all sorts of wires attatched to you that help us know how you are." Terra looked at herself and realized that this was true. One tube in her arm led to the IV standing beside her bed, and some wires protruding from the neck of her hospital gown led to a machine that beeped in time with her heartbeat. There were other machines nearby that she couldn't guess the use for. Obediantly, she lay back, but turned her head away and refused to look at her caregiver.

"If you're tired, you should go to sleep again."

"I'm not tired."

"Would you like a book? Or something to listen to? Would you like to watch TV?" Terra rolled her head against the pillow and looked at her for a second before turning sharply away again.

"No. Thanks." She felt lethargic and heavy, now, each limb too weighted for her to lift or move. There was a churning feeling in her stomach, but not like she was hungry or going to throw up. Her throat seemed clogged and her head started to pound in time with the IV's whirring and clicks. The nurse told her about the buttons that she could push if she needed anything and then left her alone. Terra was grateful for that. She sighed miserably and dropped into a reluctant sleep.

---

"Terra? Terra, wake up..." The light was back, intruding on her lovely realm of darkness. Something tapped her on the shoulder. Terra recognized the futility of fighting anymore and sighed as she returned to the waking world. The nurse was back, along with another nurse and a man in a doctor's uniform. "It's time for a check-up. Can we see your hands, please?"

Terra hid her hands behind her back as best she could without invoking the burning pain. "I'm fine. I want to go now." She didn't look at any of them, instead sulkily staring out a nearby window. She heard footsteps. The door opened and then closed and muffled voices came from the hallway. Terra pulled her hands out and slowly unwrapped the bandages that covered them, clumsily. She gasped at what she saw. Both of her hands were swollen and covered with thick scabs, some cracked and bleeding from her movement. Terra hardly recognized her own hands.

She shuddered, hastily re-wrapped them, and hid them again. She struggled to rid her mind of the horrific image. They looked like... like... Terra didn't know what they looked like, but not hands. The door opened again and the doctor entered.

"I don't believe I've told you my name," he said kindly. "I'm Dr. Auburn. We have decided that you will be allowed to leave in a week's time - as long as you let us take care of you and teach you how to care for your hands. I don't want you looking at them for a while. It's not a pretty sight."

Terra decided not to say that she already had. She agreed wholeheartedly with his statement.

"Will you let us check your hands, please?" continued Dr. Auburn. Terra held her hands up to him, clenching her eyes closed and looking away. She gasped at the searing pain that flooded through them again, heightened by her own use of them. Terra bit her lip and refused to make another sound. She felt the bandages being undone and something cool and soothing spread over her hands that at the same time made them burn all the worse. Then they were re-wrapped. Terra opened her eyes and turned her head slowly back. "Your hands look better than they did. They are healing quickly. When you are released, don't baby them, but don't use them too much either. You have scrapes and cuts all over your body that I want you to be careful of, as well. Okay?"

"Okay." Terra forced herself not to think of what her hands had looked like, if they were better now.

"Good girl. Would you like something to eat?"

"No." Her stomach growled loudly, causing Terra to blush. "Maybe."

The doctor chuckled, spoke to the nurses, and turned back to her. "We'll need to check on your hands tomorrow, too, alright?"

"Alright." He ruffled her hair, ignoring the glare he got in return, and left. One of the nurses entered a moment later with a tray. Terra sat up and reached for it, but the nurse shook her head.

"I'll feed you. You're not supposed to use your hands, remember?" Terra did, but she had absolutely no intention of following that order. What was the point? The nurse patiently fed her the tomato soup, which Terra loathed but ate anyway. She had to admit that it was nice to be eating, and fed by such a caring person. Keb and Rhea had loved her, but they had left her to do a lot of things on her own.

The thought of her siblings made her pull away from the nurse, laying against the bed again. The urge to cry was swelling in her chest again. "I'm done," she snapped, immediately feeling guilty for being so mean but dismissing that in favor of surpressing the tears again. The nurse didn't seem to take offense and carried the tray out of the room. Terra was left alone again.

---

A week and a half had passed since that conversation with Dr. Auburn and finally - _finally_ - she was allowed to leave. The moment Terra's feet touched the pavement outside the hospital, she took off running. She ran down the street without stopping until her breath was ragged in her lungs and her hands burned from the fists she had clenched them into. They had burned less and less over the last few days and the horrible scabs were mostly scarred over. Terra had been given a small bag containing lotion to put on them and bandages to cover them with, as well as instructions on what to do to reduce scarring. She had absolutely no intention of following any of these directions, however. The scars would be useful to remind her of her sins... of how she had killed her family. With a small burst of uncontrolled powers, the street beside her crumbled. A piece of asphalt flew toward her and Terra leapt as high as she could, toward it. It swooped and caught her, carrying her away from Denver. She had to get away... away.

Her powers, for once, seemed to sense her need and desire and the asphalt sped up. She was soon far from Denver and barren countryside stretched below her. Terra tore the bag off of her shoulder and threw it as far away as she could. She watched it with disgust until she couldn't see it anymore. The tears she had been holding in for so long erupted again. Terra didn't try to fight them, just sobbed and allowed the rock to carry her where it wanted. She stared at her hands and thought of the scars on them. There were many types of scars, she reflected morbidly. There were scars on her hands and scars on her mind and scars on her heart. Scars that would never, she was sure, heal.


	4. Mercenary

**_Author's note:_**_ In case you haven't already guessed, this fic is very violent and kind of bloody. It IS rated 'T' for a reason. There IS lots of violence. So, um, don't read if you're a pacifist... Final warning._

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Four; Mercenary**

She was lost. Thoroughly and without a doubt. Terra had no idea where she was. Her hands were beginning to ache from the wind that whistled past and her hard grip on the asphalt that still carried her. She wished that she had held onto the bag of bandages and whatever else had been in it. Maybe it could have helped the ache.

Terra's stomach growled loudly, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since the awful hospital breakfast that morning. She hadn't any money to buy food with, however, and no way to earn it. Terra shoved the hunger to the back of her mind. The sun was setting to her right. The ground was drawing closer as she grew tired, now only a quarter of a mile below her. A city winked at her, its squat buildings reflecting the sunlight. Maybe she could find a sheltered place to sleep... She remembered camping out in the cliff maze that she had lived in, hiding in little crevices that sheltered her from wind and weather. Perhaps there was a place like that in this little city...

She landed clumsily and climbed off the rock. Her muscles ached from being in the same position for too long and the gentle rubbing of the rock had rubbed her knees raw. Terra gazed longingly at the chunk of asphalt, wondering if she would be able to lift it again in the morning. With a small shake of her head she drew herself away from morbid thoughts and looked around.

Every shop window boasted a sign that proclaimed it closed and she could see some timid faces in some windows. Terra wondered vaguely why. It was still light, after all. It couldn't be that late...

Then she felt it - a tremble in the earth below her... but her powers had retreated for now, exhausted from the day's use. The shudder got stronger and stronger until she felt as if she was trapped in an earthquake. The faces withdrew and the few people haunting the streets hurried to get inside. Terra alone was left, wondering what she was about to face.

"Well, what have we here?" drawled a voice from behind her. Terra whipped around to see the stereotypical bad-guy cowboy leering down at her. She trembled. "Pretty little thing like you - hasn't your mommy told you never to be outside when we come 'round?"

"D- d- don't you mention my mother," Terra said, trying to sound angry but only managing sad and scared. "J-just go away!" The cowboy and his gang laughed.

"Come on, boys! Here's a treat for you!" Terra found herself lifted by the back of her collar and thrown casually towards the gang, as if she were no heavier than a bag of plush toys... or something of the sort.

A strange anger welled up inside Terra as she tumbled through the air. How dare he... how dare he! Making fun of her mother and throwing her around - quite literally, mind you - like he was! Terra, frustrated, poked her powers into life. She gasped as the pain took over her body and bit her lip against a scream. Her expression became dazed and her eyes glowed brilliantly. There was a horrible rush of noises, screams and yells and all sorts of other things. Terra landed hard, bloodying her raw knees and scraping her hands so that they bled again, as well. Terra whimpered, fighting off tears. Her hands weren't healed yet. She didn't need all this!

Climbing unsteadily to her feet, Terra observed the damage done by her powers. No buildings had been harmed, but the road where the cowboy's gang had been had a long, narrow crack in it. There were folds in the road that suggested it had been ripped apart. Terra felt sick. Were all those people... in that little tiny crack? She turned, looking for the cowboy, and found him lying dead. His skull was crushed. Terra trembled. She hadn't meant to kill him... hurt him, yes, but not kill him...

She doubled over and emptied her stomach onto the street. People were beginning to come out of buildings and crowd around her. Terra lowered her head, scared to look at them.

Someone cheered. The rest took it up, applauding. Terra wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, grimacing at the bitter taste of bile, and lifted her head to stare at the citizens in shock. They looked... happy... How could they look happy? She had killed all those people! They were cheering... for her... Why?

"Thank you very much, miss," said an adult, stepping from the crowd. Terra trembled again, feeling tears prick at her eyes. "Those men were like pirates around here. We were all scared to death of them! They've been known to kill people who got in their way. How can we ever thank you?"

Terra stared. Her jaw was slack. Her eyes were wide. Her stomach growled. "Um, maybe some dinner please?" she said shyly.

"Dinner it is!" roared another man. "The finest from Joe's! Come on, little girl! Come on, come on!"

"Yes, yes!" cried another person. "Party at Joe's!" A tall, chubby man fought his way through the crowds. He picked her up and placed her on his shoulders, triumphantly leading the way through the streets. Everyone followed.

---

"Joe's" was a restaurant, it turned out. Outside was a sign that said, "Eat at Joe's!" in cheery letters. Terra turned to stare at the sign. It reminded her of the cartoons she watched on Sunday morning with ... with her family. Terra slumped a little bit at the thought, but she managed to suppress the wave of profound sadness that threatened to overwhelm her. The town was happy because of her... she still couldn't figure out why... but she didn't want to make them sad.

"Whip up our best!" Joe shouted to his staff, poking their heads out from the kitchen. "And rename it the... What's your name, Miss?"

"Terra," she answered nervously.

"The Terra Special!" Joe finished. The kitchen staff looked confused, and rightly so, but who were they to deny their boss? He was paying them, after all! They vanished again. Joe turned to the crowd. "I can't fit everyone in here, so The Terra Special is on the house all this week!" Everyone cheered again. Terra blushed bright red and buried her face in her hands. She didn't deserve this! She was a bad person - a _killer_! Didn't they _understand _that?!

Ten minutes later she found herself sitting in a nice window booth with a mountain of food before her and Joe sitting across. "What... What is this?" she asked, eyeing the plate. It looked good and smelled delicious, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"It's a Terra Special!" Joe replied enthusiastically. "I guarantee that you'll like it if you try it."

Terra picked up her fork and shoveled a bite into her mouth. Joe was right. It was delicious! She ate as quickly as she could without looking like a starving maniac. Joe laughed. Everyone else laughed. Someone yelled for more Terra Specials.

---

That night, one of Joe's kitchen staff offered Terra a place to sleep for the night. Terra accepted shyly. She went home with the older lady once work had been finished. They talked for a while over fresh-baked cookies.

"Why is everyone being so nice to me?" It felt good to voice the question that had been weighing on her. "I killed those people! Doesn't that matter to anyone?"

"Of course it matters! They wouldn't have hesitated to kill you. I'm sure the mayor will have some sort of reward for you."

"I don't want one! I killed them! I... I..." Terra ruthlessly squashed tears that insisted, once again, on rising. "I don't deserve it," she said miserably. "I'm a bad person."

"Oh, sweetie, you're not a bad person," the woman clucked. Her tone was warm and motherly and just made Terra feel worse. "Perhaps it's time for you to be in bed, yes? Come on, I'll show you the guest room."

---

The crowd that had gathered must have included the entire town. Terra looked from the Mayor, behind his podium, to the crowd that waited eagerly beyond the hastily rigged stage.

"People of Pacificsville!" the mayor cried. "I, John Johnson (1), as your mayor, award this money to Terra..." He trailed off, confused, and looked at Terra. One hand clutched the microphone and the other held a bag of money aloft. Terra looked at her feet.

"Just Terra."

"Award this money to Terra in thanks for her service freeing us from - " He didn't even get to finish the sentence. Everyone knew why Terra was being awarded and everyone began cheering his or her approval. The roar made the planks beneath her feet tremble. John Johnson turned and pressed the bag of money into Terra's hands. She glanced at the crowd and knew that she had to accept it.

Everyone went quiet after a while, waiting for her to speak. Johnson handed her a microphone. Terra had nothing to say. "I... I... Thanks."

The roar started right back up again.

"There are a lot of monsters and gangs around here," Johnson shouted to her over the cheers. He wasn't using his microphone. These words were for her alone. "You could make a lot of money if you did more of what you did yesterday!"

Terra listened to the roar and looked at the money in her hands. Keb... Keb had told her the word for someone that made money in the way Johnson was suggesting. If she took his advice, she would take the title of mercenary.

"Thank you, sir. I'll do that."

The healing scars on her bare hands tingled.

---

_(1) – Well, I never claimed to be good at making up names…"Pacificsville" because the town is on the Pacific coast. John Johnson because... just because. _


	5. Titans

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Five; Titans**

Seven years. Had it really been seven years? Since the day that Rhea and Keb had died? Since the day she had killed all those men? Since Joe had renamed his best dish the Terra Special? Since the day that John Johnson had given her a thousand dollars in reward money? Since the day she had taken on the title of "mercenary"?

Could it have been seven years already?

Fifteen years old now, Terra smiled.

Yes. It had been seven years...

She had bought gloves, first thing. She hated the way people stared at her hands, horribly scarred... They way they whispered, what could have happened to her? Such a sweet little girl... why would she have such scars?

She didn't worry about them any more. She didn't worry about a lot of things. Not even killing people. Terra had almost no friends, so alienating them was not a problem. She moved around too much to have friends. She was too dangerous to have friends. They might get hurt.

In seven years, her powers had gone wild a total of ten times. It was awful... so painful... Her arms had scars now, too, but those were easily hidden with long sleeves. And the destruction caused to whatever was around her... Well, she didn't like to think about it.

She had gained a lot of confidence over the years. She always put on a smile around people, never showing her insecurities. She had started to believe that they weren't even there. But Terra knew, deep down, that she was lying to herself. It was a nagging feeling in her gut that told her, she wasn't good enough. She didn't have control or security. She couldn't be around other people, not ever, not really. What if they got hurt because of her?

Terra had heard stories of the Teen Titans. They were the protectors of Jump City, down the coast. They were good at their job, wrestling the bad guys and keeping them under control - low-lifes called "The HIVE" and "Slade" were at the top of their hit list - but they only worried about Jump City and a mile or so of the surrounding land. How much good could they do if they fought all up and down the coast? Or inland? Like she did?

Whenever Terra went near Jump City, she kept an eye out for the Teen Titans. As of yet, she hadn't seen them.

Terra shook her head and took a careful step through the canyon. One could never be too cautious... Sure enough, a horrible screeching roar echoed around the rocks. Terra burst into a sprint. Her predator and prey gave chase, as expected. It had been menacing anyone who strayed from Jump City, killing even. No one was brave enough or capable enough to take on the giant scorpian. Well, except her. Perhaps her bravery was just stupidity.

It was gaining on her. Dust flew from her heels, a pitiful puff compared to the clouds that the monster left in its wake. It was gaining on her. Panting, Terra looked back at it. She saw dark figures out of the corner of her eye and her heart skipped a beat. Perhaps they were the Teen Titans? Maybe she would get to meet them. It was always good to have allies.

This was getting too dangerous. The scorpian's tail shot forward, striking the ground where her feet had just been. Terra yelped and went tumbling to one side. Her butterfly clip, which she still wore in faithful keeping with her promise to Keb, fell to the ground. Terra reached for it. The scorpian's foot came crashing down. Terra got up and kept running. She felt small and naked without the clip... it was the only thing that reminded her of what she was.

The scorpian had her cornered now. Or, so it thought. And so _they_ thought.

"Titans, GO!"

Terra grinned. She didn't need their help. Her eyes flashed yellow and the bridge of stone above her came crashing down. The scorpian's tail spasmed as it died. Terra proceeded to look around for her clip. It wasn't here! She couldn't see it anywhere! Where was it? And more importantly, what was she going to do without it?

Terra knew she was beginning to panic. Ruthlessly, she squashed her insecurities and used her powers to rise up and meet the Titans. Cockiness could cover anything.

They were in shock. Terra inwardly quailed as she came face to face with the five she had heard so many good things about. "What? You guys act like you've never seen a super hero!"

Robin shook of his shock and stepped forward. "I'm Robin. And we're - "

"The Teen Titans! I've heard all about you!" Well, not _all._ No one had ever mentioned how cute Beast Boy was. And judging by the way he introduced himself as "Boy Beast! I - I mean, Baz Boot! Ah!", he was quite taken with her too.

Her powers were getting restless again. Terra added a note to her list of bad things that had happened today and told herself that she'd deal with it later.

"Curiosity abounds! Please, what is your name, where are you from, how did you get here, what is your favorite color, do you wish to be my friend?" Terra was amazed as Starfire's ability to speak all this so quickly, and in one breath.

"Um, Terra, earth, walked, blue, sure?" she answered hesitantly.

"HELLO, NEW FRIEND!" squealed Starfire, hugging her tightly. Terra gagged. The girl could really hug!

In retrospect, Terra would later muse, she had never really expected to meet the Titans. And she had certainly never expected an invitation to stay at their tower! She couldn't. Her powers were on the rise again, the lethal energy building slowly but certainly. She wasn't safe. She had to get away...

"I suppose I could stay for one night."

---

Glork. What an... interesting... dish. Not bad, really. Actually, Terra quite enjoyed it. Sushi and ice cream... mmm...

As Terra pretended to sleep that evening, she listened to the Titans discussing her. Maybe she could stay with them, they thought... But Terra knew that she couldn't. The power of her abilities had grown, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could reign it in.

In the seven years since she had become a mercenary, she had felt the rise a total of thirteen times... Sometimes she could work it off and they would be satisfied. Tonight, Terra decided, after midnight, she would see what she could do to give her powers a workout.

Nighttime came fast enough and everyone was soon asleep. Terra got dressed quickly and slipped out of the Tower. She sat on the edge of Titans' Island. A perfect place for skipping rocks. Terra lifted and shot the small stones out across the water without ever touching them. The rising energy ebbed a little bit, but Terra knew that it wasn't enough.

"So, I'm guessing the couch was too lumpy?" Beast Boy asked, coming up and sitting down beside her. She said nothing, just skipped another rock. He picked up one as well and tossed it carelessly, obviously thinking that it was as easy as she made it look. The rock sank before even bouncing once. Terra giggled and helped him out a little.

They laughed together as friends before sinking into an awkward silence. Terra sighed. "I can't stay..."

Beast Boy was confused. He begged and wheedled her until she agreed to stay for one more day. Terra knew it was dangerous. Who could be sure when her powers had had enough? They weren't safe with her around... and the city wasn't safe without them around.

"I can't wait to see what your powers can do when you really set them loose!" Beast Boy said excitedly.

Terra's powers took the comment eagerly and gave a small presentation. The small boulder underneath Beast Boy dumped him back and threw itself into the water. Terra gasped. "Sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so stupid, _stupid!_"

"It's okay. You can't control your powers. No one's gonna talk down to you or anything..."

"Don't tell! Please, don't tell," Terra pleaded. She liked the Titans. She didn't want them to know her flaws. Terra glanced at her gloves. "Promise, Beast Boy, don't tell!"

"I promise," he replied. "Come on. We should get inside. It's pretty late." He reached for her hand, hesitated, and pulled back awkwardly. Terra could see him blushing in the dim glow from the Tower's lights. It was an interesting sight to see.

For the first time in she-didn't-know-how-long, Terra smiled. Really smiled. Beast Boy's words, in some strange way, assured her that everything would be alright. And maybe it would.

Tomorrow, what would be would be. Maybe she would end up killing them all... But for now, it just didn't matter.


	6. Comfort

**_Author's Note_**_: Just a quick little note... As I type, my outline seems to fall apart. This isn't intended to be a Beast BoyxTerra fic, but it's starting to look that way..._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Six; Comfort**

"Booyah! New course record!" Cyborg cheered.

"You're the first one to do the course," Raven told him in a tone that said she was secretly delighted to burst his bubble. Cyborg scowled at her. Raven didn't react.

"Okay Terra, you're up," Robin called. "Ready?"

Terra said nothing. No, she wasn't anywhere near ready. Her powers felt about ready to explode. The pressure inside of her felt like she had been holding her breath too long while there was a stifling mountain of blankets heaped onto her. It was not a comfortable feeling. She breathed deeply and let it out.

"Don't lose control," she muttered to herself. "Don't lose control."

The pep talk wasn't helping much.

Robin's timer chimed. Terra started the obstacle course. The details of her workout blurred together, but she knew that she took a lot of falls and made some very close saves.

"You da man!" Beast Boy cheered at one point. "Eh, no, wait... You da... Way to go!"

Terra was grateful for her friend's encouragement, and the shouts of Cyborg and Starfire as well. She finished and landed clumsily. Everyone stared. She gathered her courage and straightened up, arms stretched out and a triumphant expression on her face. A second later, she was mobbed by three enthusiastic Titans. A soft, catchy tune broke through their cheers.

_Bee-bee-boop, b'doop buh-buh b'duh_, went Robin's communicator. Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy released her. Robin and Raven joined them. Robin held a small, yellow, circular... thing in one hand. Everyone else had some sort of pendant or decoration that flashed in time with the music.

"Why is everyone blinking?" she asked stupidly.

"Trouble," snarled Robin. Terra was taken aback by the abrupt change in him. "C'mon." They filed inside. Robin rushed to the computer and typed frantically.

"Slade." Raven was the one that voiced the name, hatred in her dull voice, but she spoke for everyone.

"Slade?" Terra asked Beast Boy quietly. She knew the name, but nothing of the villain.

"Bad guy," the green Titan explained. "Real bad."

"I've got a lock on his location," Robin said seriously. He typed some more and the map of the city displayed narrowed down, part of it flashing red. "Titans, go!"

The Titans reacted instantly. Terra stood completely still and watched them leave. Beast Boy skidded to a halt and turned back.

"You coming or what?"

Terra smiled and ran to catch up. Beast Boy took her hand and they followed the other Titans.

---

The fighting was already well underway by the time they arrived. The Titans leapt right in without a second thought, giving much-needed help to the few miners who had stayed to defend against legions of robots. Terra hesitated, greatly worried by the almost stifling pressure of her unruly powers. Soon, her instincts as a trained mercenary (albeit, self-trained) kicked in and she threw herself into the fray as well.

Her powers had finally had enough. They burst their limits, making Terra scream and drop to the ground inside one of the tunnels. She heard Beast Boy yell to her. The shock of his voice dammed the golden energy for the moment, but they weren't done yet. Terra knew that she had to keep fighting against it. The tunnel entrance was blocked. She was trapped inside.

Footsteps at the other end made Terra jump and turn. A man ran past the opposite entrance. Terra scowled and voiced the name of the master villain. "Slade." She got to her feet, unstable for a moment or two, and then ran after the villain. He led her to a dead end. Alarm signals went off in her brain.

"Welcome, Delani Miller," said the cool voice.

Terra paled, fear rising at the sound of the name she had abandoned. She pushed away her fear and sneered. "My name is Terra."

"Is it?" He seemed totally unperturbed. Terra hurled a rock at him and he dodged without any trouble what-so-ever. "That was quite good. Unless, of course, you were aiming for me..."

They fought. The moves were fast and furiously thrown. The exit caved in, trapping them both. Terra smirked. "I've got you now."

"No, Terra. _I've_ got _you_." He advanced. She retreated until she felt the wall against her back. Out of habit, Terra reached up to touch her butterfly clip... Her hand brushed against nothing but hair and dropped again, dismayed. Slade reached out. She flinched away from his hand, but he did not strike her. There was something in his palm that shone faintly in the light. He placed his hand on her head, pushing her hair back with a familiar and very welcome pressure. Her clip!

Terra gasped. Her hand flew up and she trailed her fingers lovingly over the smooth stone.

"You see, Terra, I've been watching you for a very long time," Slade said conversationally. He reached out and took her hands, gingerly, as if he was disgusted by what he was doing but wanted to make a point. No. It wasn't her hands that he held, but her gloves... The gloves that hid her hideous scars. "Almost eleven years, you know... I know all your secrets. There is nothing about you that I have not seen."

Terra whimpered, memories rising that she wished could have stayed hidden in the recesses of her mind. She turned her head away, hating the helplessness that he made her endure.

"Let me train you," he hissed, releasing her and taking a handful of nearby stone. "Let me help you. With my tutelege, you could become great!" As he spoke, he steadily increased his grip on the rocks. "You could be more powerful than any in this country. You _are_ powerful, Delani Miller. Yes. You are very powerful... Think about how much you could do if you accepted my help! You could shine as no one has ever shone." He released his grip and showed her the rocks, now crushed into a diamond that glinted at her. He offered it to her and Terra gingerly took it.

"Think about it," the villain finished. "I'll be waiting..."

And suddenly, he was gone. Terra shivered. She hissed as sudden pain engulfed her. Her powers burst forth again, making her scream. The tornado was worse than ever it had been before. Terra brought her knees to her chest, curling herself tightly in an effort to drive away the pain, but it was in vain. The tornado lifted her clear off of the ground and suspended her in its eye, unable to move either up or down.

"Terra!" She opened wide her clenched eyes. Everything was bathed in an eerie yellow light, to the point where almost nothing else was visible. She could see Beast Boy, though, launching himself into the tornado. "Terra, take my hand!" She felt a warmth on her wrist, gentle, not the harsh burning of her powers. Beast Boy's hand. She grasped it tightly, desperately, using him as a lifeline through her pain and blindness. She felt his other hand brush against her cheek.

"You're crying," he said quietly, his voice almost lost over the roar of wind. Terra tried to respond, but she couldn't form the words. She just stared helplessly at her friend, the tears running down her cheeks silently. He hugged her suddenly, holding her close, telling her without words that it was alright, everything was alright...

Terra knew that it wasn't, but she accepted the comfort eagerly, throwing her arms around him and clinging to him like a child to its teddy bear. The burning was overwhelming her, eating her from the inside out. Terra sobbed silently on his shoulder.

She didn't know how long they hovered there, but eventually her powers decided that they were done for now. The abnormal pressure was not gone, far from it, although it had been repressed a great deal. She would be able to hold it off for a few more days now.

Terra and Beast Boy landed gently on the mine tunnel's floor. Terra's legs refused to hold her and she refused to let go of Beast Boy. He ended up crouched on the dirt, she clinging to him like a thread that kept her from falling into oblivion. The pain was lessened now that her powers had retreated. It was not gone, though, and Terra continued to sob onto Beast Boy's shoulder. He awkwardly patted her back.

"I'm sorry," Terra choked, forcing herself to speak through the hurt. "I could have killed you..."

"But you didn't," he soothed. "It's alright, we're both fine..."

"No! You could have been hurt! Now you know... now you know why I can never stay with you, Beast Boy! I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me!" She pushed him away, more roughly than she had meant to, reluctant to relinquish his warmth and comforting presence but forcing herself to do so. It was to save him, she reminded herself brutally. It was to save his life. Terra retreated to the other side of the small cavern and curled up again, willing her tears to stop. They did, eventually.

Beast Boy waited silently, giving her the time and space she needed. When Terra was back to her usual self, he gingerly took her hand and they walked from the cavern together. He looked straight ahead. Her head was bowed and she stared only at her feet.

Beast Boy would never forget this side of Terra, one he was unlikely to ever see again. She was broken on the inside, a lonely girl looking for comfort. Comfort that he wanted so desperately to give her.


	7. Darkness

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Seven; Darkness  
**

Terra stayed with the Titans for two more days. As he had promised, Beast Boy made absolutely no mention of her powers. Terra could feel the remaining energy festering and climbing once more. She had to leave. An empty mine shaft was one thing. Titans' Tower was quite another. The Titans insisted on giving her supplies.

"Thanks for everything, you guys. I'll come visit sometime if you'll have me," she promised.

"Why not just stay here?" suggested Robin. "We've got spare rooms. I know you can't control your powers, but we can work on... what?"

Terra looked at Beast Boy, a questioning and hurt look on her face. "You told him?" she asked. She felt betrayed, angry. "You promised you wouldn't tell! You _promised_, Beast Boy! I trusted you!"

"Terra, I didn't - "

Terra dropped the backpack. She shot a last angry glance at Beast Boy and bolted out of the Tower. She couldn't believe it. He had told Robin! She really had trusted him to keep her secret and she had believed he would be faithful to that.

Terra shot out her hand, summoning a large rock from the base of the island. It hurtled toward her. Terra jumped, expertly landing on its surface, and it tilted before flying away. Her anger had given new life to her powers. She could already feel the dangerous energy leaking from her. Even if Beast Boy had lied to her, she cared about him... all the Titans. She could have stayed if that was the only thing troubling her. She could have given herself time to cool off and gone back. But going back would endanger him.

Terra pounded her fist against her perch. If only she could control her powers! If only... Then her life would have been great. Her family would be alive. She could have joined the Titans. Every problem she'd ever dealt with had sprung, in one way or another, from her blasted lack of control.

She landed on the mainland, in the rock cliffs that she had haunted before meeting the Titans. The second her feet touched the ground, Terra was running. She had to get far enough away before her powers burst again. It had been stupid of her to stay even as long as she had. What if there had been some delay? What if her powers had gotten loose while she was in the Tower? How would she ever live with herself?

Her breath was quickly growing ragged in her lungs. Terra ran faster and, when her calf muscles started to hurt, still faster.

Suddenly, a cliff rose in front of her. Its slope was almost vertical. Terra turned sharply to her right, still moving at full speed. Cliff! She wheeled around and ran in the other direction. Cliff! Terra turned once more and began to retrace her steps. She did not get very far before the burning pain engulfed her. She screamed, dropping to her knees, arms wrapped around herself in hopes of warding off a pain that came from within her. The yellow light was brighter now than ever it had been. The pain, more intense than she could ever remember.

This place was made up of rock. Caverns and pathways and caves were carved into its face... It was all one big rock around her. Stupid! She was so stupid! She should have flown to the middle of the ocean, or a forest, where there were none... These thoughts were vague in her mind, numbed by the burning.

The ground beneath and around her rumbled ominously. Terra quieted, listening. It rumbled again and, suddenly, the ground beneath her flew straight up. Terra whimpered. It wasn't something she normally did but at the moment she was blind, in pain, and scared out of her wits. A temporary exception could be made.

Then, the rock began to tilt backwards.

Her hands scrabbled over the smooth, weathered stone, looking for some handhold but finding none. She was falling, falling... she hit the top of one of the cliffs hard and made a pained noise in the back of her throat. Shakily, Terra tried to push herself up.

That was when the boulder came crashing down on top of her. Terra's arms gave out, her elbows downward now hanging limply off of the cliff. She gave a strangled cry for help, but knew that it would go unanswered. She had come here, after all, to be alone. To make sure that no one got hurt because of her. Tears streaked down her cheeks, tears spawned from all the different sorts of pain she was being put through. They sparkled radiantly in the light from her eyes.

Even though she could only see yellow, Terra felt the proverbial darkness rising within her. She did not fight against it. After all she had done, death was a welcome retreat. She gave into the darkness and it consumed even the light from her eyes.

---

A shadowed figure detached himself from a nook in the rock face. The night had been light by the powerful yellow light of Terra's powers, but now it was gone. His steps were almost silent, despite the hard metal soles of his boots. His hidden eyes scanned the landscape, stopping when he saw the boulder at the edge of the cliff. More importantly, when he saw Terra's boots emerging from beneath.

He approached, confidently, not bothering to control his gait or hide in the deeper shadows. There was no need for that. He approached and examined the boulder. In an effort to save her life, Terra's powers had weakened it. They had not been able to smash it completely, however. That was fine. His fist shot out at the boulder's weakest point, plainly visible, and it collapsed in a pile of gravel. He shook out his hand casually, cleared away the pebbles, and turned Terra onto her back. His fingers went to her neck, looking for a pulse. It was there... but faint. She was alive. That was all that was important.

He picked her up, one of his arms bracing her shoulders and the other settled in the crook of her knees. Her head lolled limply. He could hear her faint, ragged breathing and see the barely existent rise and fall of her chest. His gaze turned briefly around. Her powers had done quite a number on the area and the girl had clearly taken the brunt of the damage. If he didn't hurry, she would die.

What a resilient girl, Slade mused, to have lived through all of that.

---

The first thing Terra became aware of was the steady beeps and buzzes of machines. She could feel the rasp of her own breath, irregular but deep. Her mind, though, was engulfed in darkness. Wonderful, comforting darkness through which could penetrate no thoughts or pains.

Why wasn't she dead? The darkness backed off a slight margin, allowing the thought to pass. She should be dead. She wanted to be dead, deserved to be dead... So why was she alive?

Now she wanted answers. Terra struggled against the blanket of darkness, frowning as though the expression would aid her in her battle. The darkness was stubborn, however, clinging to the folds of her mind with an iron grip. She wanted answers. If it could just go away until she got them, she would never fight against it again. The darkness apparently liked this bargain. It retreated, pulling away the comforting presence until she only felt muddled and confused.

Her pain returned, too. Terra could tell that she had broken bones and bruises, among other injuries, by the sharp throbs and dull aches in respective areas. Terra refused to make a sound to voice her pain. She squinted her still-closed eyes against the brightness pressing against her eyelids. Steeling herself, she opened her eyes. Fluorescent lights shone brightly above her, making her close her eyes with a small grunt of pain.

"Ah. You're awake. Please, do not open your eyes just yet. You have been unconscious for almost a week and it would probably hurt to do so." The voice was deep and kind, but also strangely menacing. It was familiar to her, though Terra was at a loss as to why. She was both drawn to the voice and repulsed by it. Its warning came too late.

A week! She had been... here... for a week! Where was she? Why wasn't she dead? The glare against her eyelids dimmed considerably and the speaker deemed it safe for her to open her eyes. She did so and was confronted with a familiar face or, rather, mask.

"Slade," she said. Well, rather, she tried to say. Her voice was rough and she coughed weakly, unable to do more. Slade disappeared from her line of sight and returned with a glass of water and a straw, which were offered to her. She regarded him suspiciously, but drank. Slade nodded, apparently satisfied.

"You've got two breaks in your left leg and a compound fracture. Both knees are broken and your right leg is more or less shattered. Only one of your ribs is unbroken." This was all delivered in a monotone. "I will not go into detail about the rest. You would do well to remain still for a while. Understand?"

She gave a slight nod in response.

Slade nodded once in return and turned away. Terra sighed. She did not like the situation - near death and, more than that, trapped with a villain. Oh, the situations she got herself into...

The darkness, deciding that she had gotten her answers, reclaimed her.


	8. Apprentice

**_A/N:_**_ Just wanted to thank everyone who commented, be it good or bad. Yes, I got lazy on the last few chapters... The weather has been bad, power shutting off when I was writing... I decided that it was good enough after the fifth re-write. Sorry, you've all been gypped where chapters five through seven were concerned.  
_

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter Eight; Apprentice**

Terra didn't know how long she had been here. There was no way to tell. Terra slept whenever she was tired, so often that her sense of time was completely skewed. Slade brought her meals at regular intervals - well, she assumed so, at least. Rarely was she awake when he came with a plate. It was always in sight when she woke up. She wasn't allowed to move around for what seemed to her forever. Her ribs healed rather quickly, she thought, as did her arms. There was no surprise there. None of the bones in her arms were broken, though there were one or two fractures according to Slade. Most of the injuries on her arms and torso were fairly minor, deep bruises and shallow cuts and scraps and the like. Well... minor by comparison.

Terra had a lot of time to think. What did Slade want from her? There had to be something. How had Beast Boy described him? "Bad guy. Real bad." Yes, that was it. The little she had heard about him, as well as her own experience with criminals, told her that there was something he wanted in return for saving her life. She couldn't help wonder what it was.

The next time Slade came, Terra was awake. She pushed herself into a sitting position and stared hard at him. He met her gaze evenly. Neither blinked for a full minute.

"What do you want from me?" Terra finally asked. Slade set her plate on the nearby table, as usual, and pulled a chair from no where to sit beside her. He did not relax, though, staring at her silently for so long that Terra began to fidget.

"You owe a large debt to me for saving your life," he finally said.

"I have money. I can pay. If I don't have enough, I can get more pretty - "

"I am not interested in money."

Terra scowled at him. His words were a riddle to her, the tone completely neutral in a way that made her feel like she was stupidly missing an obvious point.

"What do you want from me?" she repeated. "No riddles, Slade. I'm not in the mood."

"My, my, girl. You are an ungrateful one, aren't you?"

"Just not in the mood. Plain words."

"An apprentice. I want you to be my apprentice. Let me train you, and follow my commands. I will consider your debt paid in full."

"Why?" Terra was wary, though it seemed that she was getting the better end of the deal. She had kept the gem he had given her in her pocket, where it was now. A man with that kind of power... He wanted to train her, give her that power. What was he going to get out of it?

"I need an apprentice," Slade repeated simply. "You are powerful. You have a debt to me." Terra said nothing, brooding silently while staring at her knees.

"What if I say no?"

"Then I'll kill you. No one really cares about you, Terra, including me if you aren't useful to me. No one would miss you if you died. But," he continued, narrowing his visible eye ominously, "I think you will find that you aren't willing to throw your life away like that."

Terra lapsed into another silence. He was right. She avoided his gaze, even when she spoke again. "Can I think about it?"

"You have three days. I shall inform you when your answer is due." He left. She waited for a moment to make sure that he was really gone before pulling the plate closer to her.

---

The three days she had been given seemed to fly, but at the same time they dragged along at a snail's pace or slower. Terra decided, eventually, that she had no choice but to apprentice herself to this villain. She had thought that death would be a blessing, but the thought of it scared her now that she was no longer at its brink. She wanted to live and if that meant becoming Slade's apprentice, so be it.

Even though she was resigned to this choice, Terra hated herself for it. She was ashamed. She felt like a coward. So many people had wanted the same life that she claimed so glibly, so many people had died at her hands... Had they felt like this before their impending demise? Terra knew that she deserved to die. She knew it was only fair and right of her to reject Slade's offer and the consequent punishment, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

A coward. That's what she was... just a useless coward trying to save her own skin.

"What is your answer?" Slade asked upon entering with her next meal. Terra refused to look at him. Her shame ate at her heart, but she would not allow it to stop her...

"I agree to be your apprentice," Terra said quietly.

Slade was pleased. She could tell by his voice. He also sounded... smug, as if he'd been expecting this answer. "Excellent. Your training starts now. Get up." Terra's head jerked up and she stared at him in disbelief. Hadn't he been the one to say she should not move? She could see him grow impatient.

"You will learn, Delani, that I am not to be disobeyed," he said. Terra shivered. His voice was frigid, enough to send shudders down her spine. "If I could strike you without killing you, I would. Get up. There are crutches by your bed." Terra found that she believed his threat whole heartedly. She glanced around for the crutches mentioned.

Indeed, they were there. Clumsily, Terra fumbled with them and swung her legs to the side of the bed. She felt no pain, not really, just a dull sort of tingle, or an itch. Both were bound tightly in plain white casts. Terra gingerly touched the edges of these to the floor, putting the predominance of her weight onto the crutches. Now her left leg gave a small twinge of pain, one that she ignored. It was not bad. It amounted to nothing compared to the burning of her angry powers.

"Excellent. Your training has ended for the day; return to your bed and eat." He left. Terra, confused, sat down heavily. She set the crutches aside and swung her legs onto the mattress again. Her leg ached but she continued to ignore it and, soon, the ache faded to a small, dull throb that she hardly noticed.

---

Every day, Slade would instruct Terra in a series of short exercises. She had to stand without faltering, though she was allowed to use the crutches; she had to stand without help; she had to walk around the room without hesitating; touch her toes (this was harder than she had expected, as she had hardly moved in who-knew-how-long and the casts got in her way) and other such things. Slowly but steadily, Terra knew that she was healing and becoming stronger. The training exercises grew longer and harder as she improved.

One day, Slade presented Terra with a gift. It was a slim metal bracelet with a small circular stub at one point, as if it had once been attached to some sort of cord or tube.

"Put it on," Slade drawled. Terra fumbled with the clasp. She snapped it onto her left wrist and fastened the catch with some difficulty. Slade tossed her the end of a cord and she immediately recognized it as the same kind that had once attached to her bracelet. She bit her lip and examined both pieces, trying to see how they fit together. Seeing nothing that distinguished either piece, she stuck the cord into the bracelet. To her surprise, both reacted instantly and she was unable to budge the cord.

"This will probably hurt," Slade warned. He didn't seem to care, however. Terra eyed him apprehensively but he ignored her and turned to the wall. There were two knobs there, ones that Terra had seen before and had assumed that they were just light switches. Apparently not. Slade turned one knob slightly. Terra gasped. A warm, tingling feeling filled her. It felt like the same sensation she felt when her powers went out of control, but much more mild.

The sensation was centered around her bracelet. It glowed softly, yellow light. Terra could feel Slade watching her. She watched him from her peripheral vision. He turned the knob more and the warmth intensified. It was still bearable, however, so she wasn't worried. Slade twisted the knob violently and she collapsed back onto the bed, screaming. The pain was awful, eating her from the inside out, but it was also different than she had ever experienced before. Her eyes were clear, not blinded by yellow light, and there was no energy swirling around her. Her bracelet and the cord glowed brightly, filling the previously dark room.

Seconds dragged by as slowly as weeks and years. The pain's source was cut off but it took a second eternity before the fire had faded enough for her to so much as inhale properly. Terra lay there, panting, grasping the bracelet as though longing to take it off but fearful of the consequences.

"Interesting," Slade mused aloud.

"Wh - what's... interesting?" Terra asked, forcing the pain away with ruthless efficiency.

Slade looked at her coolly. His steady gaze gave nothing away but pierced her very being, able to see every thought and feeling in her mind. Terra flinched away from him, regretting the question.

"I will return tomorrow," Slade finally said, ignoring her question. And with that, he left.


	9. Spy

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter nine; Spy**

Two months, at least, had passed. Terra had so much more control over her powers than she could ever remember having. Slade deemed her ready for her first mission.

"It's one you'll like, I think," he told her idly. She toyed with the metal bracelet on her wrist, a newer version of the first he had used; it kept her powers under firmer control than she could by herself and wasn't painful at all to her. "I'm sending you back to the Titans."

"What?!" Terra wasn't so much angry as shocked. Slade was the bitter enemy of the Teen Titans, everyone knew that. To send his apprentice into their midsts...

"You'll be a spy," he added. "You will appear their friend, infiltrate their ranks, and report back to me. Is that clear, Delani Miller?" He only called her that when he wanted to be sure she was listening, and every time it stung like a slap across the face.

No. She wouldn't do it. Slade would use her to destroy them. She wouldn't allow him to hurt her friends. Wouldn't... "Yes, master." Couldn't disobey him. She owed him her life, her control, everything.

"Good. I'll show you the way out. You'll know your way from the entrance, I suppose." His tone didn't change in the slightest, but Terra could see the satisfied gleam in his eye. He turned, making a slight gesture that she should follow, and walked off. Terra followed.

Slade pressed a button embedded in a solid wall of what seemed to be rock. It opened with a harsh, grating whir and Terra threw up her hand against the bright sunlight. Slade, ignoring her discomfort, handed her the butterfly clip he had deemed 'an unnecessary adornment' not long before. Terra took it and immediately clipped it into her hair. She felt naked and exposed without it.

"I've installed a communication device into your clip," Slade drawled. "I will be able to hear everything you say and everything that is said to you. You will give me a report each night before going to bed. Is that understood?"

She wouldn't. She didn't want to spy on the Titans. There was no way she was going to agree to thi - "Yes, master," Terra replied faithfully.

"Good. Now get going. I'll let you know when my plan is to proceed."

By now, Terra knew better than to ask what that plan was. She stepped into the outside world and looked around, trying to gage where she was. The devastation only a hundred meters away gave her all the help she needed. Terra shot a look at Slade, but the door had already closed, hiding him from view. Terra sighed. For months, she had been no more than five miles away from Titans' Tower. How would they react, knowing that Slade's headquarters were so close? Well... not that they knew... and not that she would - could - tell them.

Terra walked to the place where she had been in such trouble before, the place where the boulder had landed on her last chapter. Only a pile of rubble remained. She picked up some small stones and slipped one into each glove and boot. She needed to impress the Titans, and this would ensure that she would be safe if she messed up.

Terra clambered aboard a boulder, wary of it after her last encounter riding one. It bucked and pranced like a horse, sensing her fear. Terra snapped at it and flew off.

---

She landed with a slight grunt and allowed her boulder to rest at the base of the Tower. Terra tucked her knees up to her chest and sighed. She couldn't just show up, could she?

A volleyball thumped down in front of her from the roof. Terra reached out for it and looked up to the roof. She smiled. Or maybe she _could_ just show up. Terra stood and, silently, lifted herself closer to the roof.

"I'll go get it," she heard Beast Boy say. Her heart kicked up its pace a few notches at his voice. She tossed it back onto the roof, braced her hands on her hips, and put on her cockiest expression. With a small burst of her powers, she lifted herself the last few meters and surveyed the Titans calmly. It was quite breezy on the roof, resulting in her hair blowing back.

"So. Which team am I on?" She took a moment to enjoy their expressions of shock, all except Raven of course. Beast Boy and Starfire recovered first, the result being identical shouts of 'Terra!' and a slightly violent race to get to her first. Starfire won this race and gave her an enthusiastic hug.

"_Hello_, my friend!"

"Star-fire!" She choked out."I've still got bruises - from the last time you hugged me! Ugh." Terra heard her back cracking multiple times. Starfire, thankfully, released her. Terra took a few seconds to straighten herself out (literally) and then Beast Boy claimed her attention. He was blushing cutely and stuttered through his words.

"T-terra! Y-you're back! I mis- uh, h-how's it going?" He swung his shoulders nervously and dug a toe into the roof. Terra grinned and hugged him. He melted into a small puddle of green gloop.

"Great to see you, Terra," greeted Robin. Beast Boy sprung back into himself. "Welcome back." Despite that Slade was listening to every word, Terra felt truly happy to be with her friends again.

"Take anything you want from the fridge and don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out," monotoned Raven. "I'm going inside to meditate."

The moment of truth. Terra wished she had prepared better. She was flying by the seat of her pants here and didn't like the feeling. Her life, her pride, her friends hung in the balance. Slade held all the cards and controlled every move she made. Not a good feeling. Terra mentally shook herself.

"Actually... I kinda wasn't planning on leaving this time. I wanna take you up on your offer; I wanna be a Teen Titan!" There. That wasn't so bad.

There was no response. The Titans stared at each other. Terra wilted. They had decided that she wasn't fit to be a Titan after all. She hadn't even gotten far before crumbling. Slade was going to kill her. Terra turned away, her voice a bitter monotone.

"Sorry. I didn't realize the offer had an expiration date. I'll just leave now." Terra made to run onto her rock and get herself to, like, Europe or something when a strong hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"The offer didn't expire," Robin explained. "We're just... concerned. Last time, well..." He was referring to her powers, trying to dance around the subject so as not to hurt her feelings.

"It's just... you couldn't exactly... You couldn't... uh..." Beast Boy was dancing, too.

Raven was the one who didn't dance. "You couldn't control her powers," she snapped, aggravated with her teammates. Terra smiled. Was that all? That wasn't so bad.

"Don't you get it? I ran away so that I could practice," she lied enthusiastically. "Look, look!" She ran back to her rock. As soon as she was on it, the rock dropped sharply and she with it. Another small burst of her powers glued her hands safely onto it. She called three more boulders from the ocean-covered part of Titans' Island and rose again.

Terra swooped and showed off for the Titans, stretching her fragile, newfound control to its limits. She ended by letting her four boulders separate to the four cardinal directions, centered on the tower. They shot together, she on the southernmost boulder, only a meter above the roof of the tower. The Titans threw themselves to the floor but Terra jumped smoothly off, landing in a low crouch as the boulders changed direction, moving upwards. Control was getting harder and harder to maintain. Terra threw up her hands, grunting from the effort of keeping herself in charge. Two at a time, the boulders collided with a tremendous bang and a burst of light like fireworks. Cheers greeted the end of this display. Terra bowed.

The Tower rumbled beneath them and all eyes were instantly on her. There had been nothing in the way of unintentional power-surges. She shrugged. "Wasn't me..."

---

_**Author's Excuses:** I can't tell you how sorry I am for not having this up, like, a month ago... It was really hard for me to write, for some reason. -sigh- Feel free to yell at me or whatever. I'll try to have the next chapter up within a week, but as I'm still fighting writers' block it probably won't happen. _


	10. Uneasiness

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter ten; Uneasiness  
**

What was Slade planning? It had been easy to follow the giant robotic worms and tunnel through the earth (_duh_), and it would have been even if Raven hadn't been... eh... helping. It was easy to find the computer. Robin started to hack into it... That was when Slade appeared. In truth, Terra was frightened at seeing her master again. She had followed his orders as best she could, but... he didn't need a reason to punish her. Luckily, he was much too interested in beating up Robin to worry about her. Raven took over the job of hacking into it.

"It would be easier just to smash it!" Terra called over a boulder and sent it toward the computer.

"No!" Raven's powers coated her boulder and the conflicting black and yellow was interesting, as always, to look at. Terra scowled.

"Why don't you trust me? I won't hurt anyone, I promise!"

Raven didn't trust her because she didn't believe that Terra suddenly had such good control. She had to meditate every day! Did Terra think that trust came with just a pretty show? It was something that had to be earned! And she could start by having trust in Raven.

Terra had only a second to think, but in that second her mind whirled. She was Slade's apprentice. Her mission was to earn the Titans' trust and betray them on Slade's whim. If she persisted in trying to gain control over Raven, that trust would never be hers and she would fail her mission. The Titans would stay alive. But Terra... Terra would die. Terra had almost made up her mind to insist. She chickened out and bowed her head, relinquishing her part of the struggle. Satisfied, Raven allowed it to drop and turned back to the computer. The drill had continued its malicious mission during their tussle. The ceiling had loosened enough to drop a huge boulder onto the CPU they were trying to break into. Terra and Raven leaped away, just in time.

Unfortunately, it was then proved that smashing the computer... was a very bad idea.

"Okay... maybe that wasn't such a good idea," Terra said sheepishly, smiling to ward off Raven's poisonous glare. The red laser-drills intensified three, four times and the sluggish circle sped up. The drills broke through the surface, dooming Titans' Tower. It began to sink. Without letting herself ponder (beyond hoping in a small section of her brain that Slade would not perceive the action as one of betrayal toward him), Terra jumped onto the boulder that covered Slade's CPU and channeled her locked power into a beam. She was trying desperately to force the Tower back into place. It was too heavy. She couldn't do it. If she kept this up, she'd collapse and be crushed.

A black beam joined her gold and Terra spared a glance to her side. Raven ignored her but pushed her own powers harder. Raven was helping her? Feeling energized, Terra pushed harder too. The rocky column rumbled to a stop and then slowly, slowly, began to rise again. In the corner of her eye, Terra could see Robin smiling.

---

"So... friends?" Terra asked later, apprehensively holding out her hand to Raven. The hallway was dark and the others were no where to be found, but Raven wasn't worried and so neither was Terra.

"Close enough," the dark Titan replied, shaking her hand.

"Still hate me?"

"No. That surprises me a little bit; it took me a year to stop hating Beast Boy!"

They both laughed softly and Raven opened a door. The two entered. The door shut behind them, leaving them in pitch blackness.

"Where are we?"

"Your room," Raven replied and switched on the lights.

"Surprise!" cheered the four other Titans, suddenly revealed. Terra gasped, eyes wide. The room was beautiful; well, in a typically Titans sense. It included, among other things, a circular couch, a wall that was really a window, and a fancy computer in the corner.

"All this... is for me?"

"Yeah," Robin said. "You saved our Tower. It's the least you deserve... Oh, and this, too. If you still want it." He offered her a yellow Titans' communicator. Terra's eyes went so wide that she almost thought they would fall out. She accepted the communicator almost reverently.

"I... I don't know what to say... thank you so much!"

"Aw, isn't that sweet?" Cyborg cooed. "Alright! I'm making waffles!"

"Mm!"

"Can mine be non-dairy?"

"You guys go ahead," Terra called as they filed out the door - _her_ door. "I... I need a minute..." It shut and she was suddenly alone. Terra took out her clip and fingered it, her blond hair falling to cover half her face as usual.

"They trust me... I can't believe it... they actually trust me."

Terra wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

---

Weeks passed. Each night, Terra would send an email to Slade with the computer in her room. Each morning, she would receive instructions on ways to further deceive them. Things during the day went smoothly. She was slowly being integrated into Titans life, and not just the crime-fighting part. She played video games with Cyborg and Beast Boy, often whooping their butts, she worked with Cyborg and Raven on their precious car, she worked with Robin to improve her hand-to-hand, and taste-tested Starfire's cooking. The others were amazed when she continually survived the experience. Each time, she just smiled. Terra never mentioned the hard times in her life when she had found herself scrounging through dumpsters... or eating Keb's food. She had loved her brother with all her heart, but the boy just could not cook.

Throughout it all, though, Terra deliberately kept herself uneasy. She did not relax as much as it looked like to the others. She did not laugh quite as hard as she could. She smiled with her lips, but never her eyes. She reminded herself that this was temporary and that, eventually, Slade would command her true loyalties to be revealed. She continually told herself that the Titans were not her friends, no matter how much she felt like they were. If they became friends to her, she would not betray them and none of them would survive Slade's probable wrath.

None of them noticed her uneasiness, not even Raven. They trusted her. She was a Titan.


	11. Anything

**_Author's Note:_**_ Expect a lot of updates over the next couple days. I just watched Betrayal and Aftershock one and two again, so I'm full of inspiration!_**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter eleven; Anything  
**

The best way to get them to open up to her was to open up to them. Reverse psychology. So, Terra opened up to Beast Boy. She knew that, in doing so, she risked letting him touch her heart. She was careful to avoid that. That would be the worst thing that could happen. But she told him about her. About how she had grown up, killed her parents, her brother, her sister, villains across the country. And he accepted that, soothed her frazzled nerves. Terra was sure to let on that she was at ease with him, when in fact the opposite was true.

But in return, Beast Boy opened up to her. And everything he said was faithfully relayed to Slade.

---

Robin had been working with his team, including Terra, working out new techniques that could make use of her powers. Cyborg and Robin got very good at balancing on moving rocks while she hurtled them through the air, zooming this way and that, tilting back and forth to avoid obstacles.

That practice was paying off, now, as Slade's robots streamed out of the abandoned building. Not even a word was spoken as Terra carted Robin through their ranks, he decimating them on either side while his mount took care of the ones in front of him. Terra herself leapt nimbly from rock to rock, calling others to catch her as she used the ones she had to wreak havoc on her master's minions.

"Catch!" Raven called. Terra caught the boulder and laughed as she hurled it into the ranks of their enemy.

"Thanks a ton!"

"Closer to two tons, actually." Raven spread her hands, creating a shield against the specialized red lasers that one robot fired, but it still knocked her out of the sky. A similar beam hit Terra's rock and she, too, fell. Robots closed in on all sides. Terra knew they wouldn't hurt her too badly, but still...

Beast Boy landed behind her, as a huge gorilla, and roared at them. It was like something out of King Kong: _My girl. No touch. _He swatted them away like flies, roared again, and picked her up. It was a strange sensation, being held in his arms while he shrunk... especially since, as a human, he was shorter than her.

That battle was won by the Titans, but Terra knew that it was a minor, even false, victory. Soon, Slade would call her into his service openly.

---

Terra had known from the very beginning that Slade would eventually command her to betray the Titans. It had been one of the key facts of her apprenticeship.

That didn't change the feeling of dread that rose within her when she read the instructions Slade had sent.

_Tonight is the night. You have told me all about the security in the tower. I have the apparel used by each of the Titans. Tonight I shall send my robots and you will be there, helping bring about the downfall of the Titans. Make sure that they are all asleep by midnight._

Slade wasn't one to waste words.

That day featured a brief battle against Slade's robots, though the villain himself made no appearance. Terra played her part eagerly, wishing in some small corner of her mind that she could whole heartedly mean it when she shouted insults to Slade.

Afterwards, of course, they had pizza. Nothing special there.

About five that evening, as she was finalizing her part of Slade's plans and checking with him to see that they were accurate, Beast Boy knocked on her door. "Um, uh, just a minute!" Terra called, hurriedly clicking send and hiding the screen. She rushed to the door and opened it.

"Hi," Beast Boy said, a huge, sappy smile on his face. Terra shifted uncomfortably.

"Hi?" She waited for Beast Boy to go on, but he didn't. "Okay... uh... nice talking to you..." She started to close the door. Beast Boy squeaked and threw out his hands to stop her. He was holding a sparkling box, heart-shaped. It was the same shape and color as Rhea's clip, only bigger and... boxier.

"Beast Boy?" Terra asked.

"I, uh, made this... for you..."

"That's so sweet!"

"Yeah, but... I kinda went overboard with the glue." Sheepishly, he turned his open hand upside down and waved it enthusiastically through the air. The box stuck to his hand. Terra laughed quietly, but her good mood faded into an awkward one quickly.

"I don't know what to say."

"You could... say yes. Because I'm about to ask you out on a date."

"A date?" Terra's voice caught.

"Yeah! I thought we could maybe see a movie... go to dinner. Are you free tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Beast Boy would hate her by tomorrow. Terra, despite all her efforts to remain aloof from her teammates, felt her heart break. She hated the idea of Beast Boy not liking her.

"I... I'm sorry. I can't." Terra vanished into her room, wincing at the way her voice sounded cold and clipped. She checked her email. Nothing from Slade. Taking a deep breath, Terra flung open her window and leaped out. She called a boulder to catch her and flew around to Beast Boy's room. His window was open, as well, and she could hear everything he was saying.

"Or maybe I could have... You, me, movies, Friday. Deal. Or... You are ze most beautiful woman I have ever seen... Or... You wanna go for a ride on my moped? Or... or... or... _anything_ would have been better than standing there like a total_ goober_!" Terra giggled at his voice changes, first to a deep and tough voice, then to a silly French accent and finally to what he obviously considered smooth-talking and cool. Then, to interrupt his fit of self-pity, she loudly cleared her throat. Beast Boy looked at her like a deer in the headlights. "Have you been there... this whole time?"

Terra opened her mouth to apologize for turning him down, and to warn him about what was going to happen very soon. What came out was: "Wanna go out?" Mentally, Terra slapped herself. What an idiot she was! Slade's takeover was tonight! She had to be here. She didn't really care about Beast Boy... Another part of her brain told her to stop lying and accept it. The Titans were her friends and there was nothing she could do about it. She had let him, especially, into her heart and that mistake would haunt her.

"Yeah! Uh, I mean... Sure! But... uh... why didn't you just knock on my door?"

Terra glanced at the door in question. How could she tell him that, even now, Slade's robots were beginning to enter? He would be hurt and confused. He wouldn't understand. Instead, she leaned toward him and offered her hand. "Do you trust me?" Her eyes were wide, begging him to just give her this chance... because she knew she would never be able to make it up to him again, ever.

"More than anyone I've ever met," he replied honestly, taking her hand. Terra was saddened as she pulled him up beside her. His trust was badly misplaced.

She took him to one of her favorite perches, for a long time since before ever meeting the Titans. Beast Boy was surprised. "I didn't think you meant out of the city," he confessed to her.

"It's really pretty, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Sometimes, you have to leave a place to really appreciate it." Her home near Denver. Pacificsville. Titans' Tower... there were so many places that she longed for after leaving. She lived in Titans' Tower, for another few hours at least, but she could already feel the deep ache of homesickness. Soon, she would be forever stuck in Slade's hideout... unless they were causing trouble. To distract herself, Terra turned to him and asked, "You hungry?"

---

Ben's, about fifteen miles outside Jump City, was a small diner. It wasn't quite as good as Joe's place, in Pacificsville, if you wanted a meal. But Terra had to admit that there was no better place for apple pie.

Beast Boy agreed. "This... is the best pie... in the history of pie!"

Terra smiled as if she had been complimented, and not just her taste in dessert. "There's a place about a hundred miles outside Gotham that makes a mean cherry, but for apple, this is the best there..." She had turned toward a mirror and now looked into it. Terra dropped her spoon with a gasp and whirled around, expecting to see the masked figure of her mentor. But there was no one... well, other than some senior citizens playing pool. Beast Boy was too interested in his pie to notice.

Terra pulled some coins out of her pocket. Slapping them on the counter, she said, "Let's get out of here. Night's still young."

"But... pie!" Silly Beast Boy! He could get pie any time, but if Slade was here... She dragged him out the door, onto a rock, and away from the diner. Her nervous glances in every direction went unnoticed. So did the communicator that fell from Beast Boy's belt.

Over the next hour, Terra thoroughly enjoyed herself with Beast Boy at the amusement park where she had spent so much time during the last seven years. If she had known what would happen on the ferris wheel, she would have avoided the park altogether.

"Beast Boy... if you knew something... _bad _about me, would you still be my friend?" She couldn't believe she was even considering this. No matter how much she liked him, and no matter how much he liked her, they were enemies.

"Of course!"

"No, I mean... if you were really my friend... I could tell you anything, and no matter how... how horrible it was... you'd still like me?"

"You know I would."

"No, I mean it! Anything. If it was worse than... all that stuff I told you about... you'd still..."

"Terra, anything. I promise." He scooted closer and leaned in to kiss her.

"Hello, Delani. Remember me?"

Beast Boy pulled away and they both turned to look. The ferris wheel continued to rotate, bringing Slade's mask into the light.


	12. Destroy

**_Author's Note:_**_ We're getting to Betrayal and Aftershock now! Thanks for sticking with me so long. When I'm done taking Terra through Aftershock, the real plot begins at last! Hurray! (So far, this has all been set-up and character development disguised as a plot.)_**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twelve; Destroy  
**

Beast Boy moved in front of her, shielding her, and Terra cowered behind him.

Slade stood and moved toward them. The carriage swayed gently with the shift. He grabbed Beast Boy by the collar and tossed him away. "I have plans for you," Slade said coldly, ignoring Beast Boy as he scrambled to keep from falling. "You think you can just run away from me, Delani Miller?"

"Let her go!" Beast Boy morphed a dinosaur - Terra was at a loss as to what kind, but he had big pointy teeth - and roared, leaping on Slade. Terra moved away from them with jerking, unsteady steps and moved toward the now nonexistent door. She thought about jumping out, but... she couldn't leave Beast Boy. Slade threw the dinosaur off and moved toward Terra again.

"Terra, run!" Beast Boy cried.

"Stay where you are, child," Slade commanded. Terra couldn't have moved anyway.

"What do you want with her?" Beast Boy demanded, moving protectively in front of Terra. Slade threw him out of the car and then leaped out, himself, landing beside Beast Boy in a crouch with one balled fist poised above the Titan's face.

"You mean, she didn't tell you. Strange. I thought you were friends." Beast Boy moved away from the fist and fell off the car. Slade stood as Beast Boy flew up again, a hawk, and then landed as a tiger. He attacked. Slade defended and counterattacked, throwing Beast Boy clear across the ferris wheel and onto the top of the car where Terra still stood. She reached up to check on him, but Slade was fast approaching.

The battle continued, each participant constantly just one mistake away from death.

"You think you know her," Terra heard Slade snarl at one point. "You know nothing. She never even liked you."

Beast Boy lost it. Screaming with rage, he threw Slade as far as his gorilla arms would allow.

"Beast Boy, c'mon! Please!" Terra begged, flying up beside him. He looked at her, and then at Slade, and shook his head. The battle resumed, ending seconds later with Slade pinning Beast Boy down. "Fly!" Terra screamed. He heeded her this time and flew to safety while Terra spread her arms and focused her power on the earth beneath the ferris wheel.

"Terra, no!" Slade yelled.

Terra looked at him, bowed her head, and continued with her work. "I won't let you hurt my friends," she said.

Slade laughed. "Dear child, you don't_ have _any friends."

When it was buried, she escaped to the ground. Beast Boy was waiting. Together, both shaken, they ran. The House of Mirrors loomed before them and, without thinking, they entered.

When had her life gotten so screwed up? She had once been Delani Miller, an innocent young girl with a loving family and not a care in the world. How had it gotten like this, a tight-rope walk between life and death, misery and happiness, friends and... Slade? She was slipping. Whichever way she fell, happiness had long since ceased to be an option. There was no happiness to be had. If she joined Slade and the Titans didn't kill her, she would live under his tyranny and their hatred, despising them and being despised by them for the rest of her life. If she joined the Titans and Slade didn't kill her, she would live with their distrust. She would be a wolf among sheep, kept close because she was dangerous, given no leash whatsoever.

Their reflections ran before them and Terra could see the fear reflected in her eyes. Her clip caught the dim light, flashed, and then went dark as she turned her head. Beast Boy ran ahead with single-minded determinedness.

They reached a circular section of mirrors and Beast Boy stopped, reaching for his communicator. "What? Where is it?! Terra, lemme have your communicator!"

"I... don't have it."

"Then we have to get to the Tower - come on!"

"Beast Boy... I can't go back. Ever."

"What? Why not?"

"Because she's not your friend." Slade's reflection filled the mirrors. "She's my apprentice."

"Liar!" Beast Boy snarled, throwing himself at the mirror. Slade continued speaking, Beast Boy breaking mirrors after every phrase.

"I found her." Crash. "I trained her to control her impressive powers." Crash. "And then I sent her to destroy your team." Crash. "From the inside out." Crash.

Terra retreated, wanting to escape, but Slade barred her way. He continued to speak to Beast Boy, but his eye never left Terra and she was petrified by it.

"LIAR! Terra would _never_ - "

"Beast Boy," Terra said quietly. Her weak, shaking voice cut through Beast Boy's enraged yells easily and echoed, bouncing eerily off of the mirrors. "It's the truth." He looked at her, an easy task since all the reflections had cracks running through them. Terra bowed her head.

"Terra..." Beast Boy was begging her to tell him it was a joke, to smile and walk toward him, laughing. She bowed her head. "But... why?"

Terra glanced at Slade, but he had vanished. She took that as an invitation to speak to Beast Boy. "Slade... he helped me... saved me, from myself. I didn't tell you about that, but..." Terra shuddered. Her injuries had resulted in more scars for her every-growing collection. "He... he said I owed him... and he wanted an apprentice." Her voice shrunk to a whisper. She crossed her arms as if warding off a chill and hunched her shoulders, anxiously awaiting his judgment. He glared at her silently and turned away. Terra took a step forward, reaching out a hand as if to rest it on his shoulder. "Beast Boy, you said you'd be my friend no matter what."

Beast Boy turned enough to swat her hand away. "Slade was right. You don't have any friends."

By this time, Slade had returned. "Apprentice. Come." He was rubbing salt into the wound. Terra looked at Beast Boy, standing with his back to her. She retreated to Slade's side and, together, they retreated into the shadows. Before losing sight of Beast Boy, Terra forced herself to look at him. As she watched, he collapsed sobbing on the ground.

---

Slade punished her for that expedition. She was given no freedom for months but received beating after beating as reward for her impertinence. He never wounded her badly, preferring to stick to small wounds that would heal quickly, but hurt a lot. She was given nighttimes to nurse her own wounds and the beatings resumed in the mornings. Terra endured for weeks. She had always been good at that. But the beatings became too much for her. She knew that these were retribution for her past crimes, and not just helping the Titans; for the deaths of her parents, Rhea, Keb, countless villains across the country, for every lie she had ever told, she was now beaten. The physical pain and the self-imposed mental torture was awful.

"I was - acting," she told Slade, hauling herself to her feet again. "I thought - Beast Boy - would trust me more if I fought against you."

He struck her again, sending her sprawling once more. "Maybe you will learn not to lie," he sneered, "or at the very least to lie convincingly."

But by far the worst punishment he inflicted on her was the confiscation of her butterfly clip. On top of everything else, she had failed Keb now, too. Though her promise had been silly and childish, she had always clung to it. The promise to always wear her clip was often the one thing that kept her from becoming a merciless killer.

A merciless killer. That was what Slade wanted her to be.

Terra lost track of how long since she had admitted her loyalties to Beast Boy. Slowly, the beatings became fewer and fewer and the training took up more and more time. Slade gave her a special uniform, cold metal plates that covered less than she was comfortable with (though, really, they covered everything that was supposed to be covered). Slade allowed her to cover her arms, legs, and stomach with bandages, to stop her scars from showing. While cruel and strict, he was not completely heartless. Just mostly.

Terra grew stronger. The special suit boosted her strength and she worked every day to reign her powers. By the time Slade proclaimed her ready to truly be called his apprentice, she was exactly what he wanted. Cold. Merciless. Unafraid to harm or even kill innocents. He hammered into her the few rules that she was to follow: Obey him, and only him. Be ruthless. Be thorough. And always, always, follow through on your threats.

Towns up and down the Pacific coast fell prey to the blond girl as training exercises. They were small towns, all of them, with populations only a fraction of Jump City's and no real resistance. Pacificsville qualified as one of these towns. Terra never went near Pacificsville on her training exercises. Slade had never heard of Pacificsville, and Terra wasn't telling, so there was no punishment for being merciful.

Slade, ever the paranoid villain, moved headquarters to a place deep underground. It was located inside a volcano and the lava swirled at the window, always dangerously close to spilling in and killing them. It was here that Slade finally decided to take her on as his assistant, not just an apprentice.

"You have doubts in the past. Made mistakes. But all that is behind you, isn't it?"

Terra bowed her head, forcing herself to remain completely still. It wasn't as hard as once it had been, remaining like a statue while Slade pounded her with questions and commands. "Yes," she answered, her voice carrying the now familiar note of steel much like the one in Slade's.

"You belong to me now, don't you?"

"Yes."

"From this day forward, will you serve me and me only?" The unsaid reference to the night in the amusement park, when she had claimed to be acting to gain Beast Boy's trust further, hung between them as clearly as the question itself. His hard stare only added to it.

"I will," Terra answered without pausing.

"Will you obey my every command?"

"I will."

"Will you fight at my side forever?" He held out his hand, showing her the red-orange pendent with his symbol on it. Terra knew that it fit into the groove on her uniform. Terra hesitated, a part of her former self creeping up and demanding that she stop this foolishness. She looked between her master and his symbol for a few seconds. His eyes were glinting coldly. Terra squashed that part of her mind and took the red-orange adornment.

"I will," she pledged, fastening it into its groove. Slade's eye narrowed, but Terra knew him well enough to know that he approved.

"And will you destroy the Teen Titans?"

Terra bent her head slightly. Her blond hair fell in front of one eye, the wave that had always been restrained by her clip before. That stupid clip. She allowed a feral smirk to curl over her lips. "I thought you'd never ask."


	13. Gone

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter thirteen; Gone  
**

Another two days were spent preparing after Terra accepted Slade's logo. She repeatedly exhausted herself practicing hand-to-hand with her master and, for short spans, she managed to hold her own. He gave her equipment so that he could monitor every aspect of the fight - tiny cameras that were rigged to the steel pieces in her hair, ear phones so that he could communicate with her at any given time. He drilled her on tactics to use with specific Titans though, really, he needn't have bothered. Terra knew their weaknesses and flaws and was quite eager to exploit them.

"Cyborg loves his car," Terra said at one point. "He spends hours with that hunk of metal. He thinks it's perfect - indestructible. If I destroy it, his spirit will be weakened."

"What that a threat?"

"No. It was a promise. Here's a threat: I will destroy the Titans."

"Good."

After thirty six hours of last minute training (and then twelve hours of sleep), Slade sent Terra out to eliminate the Teen Titans once and for all. Her eyes glittered with the prospect, the master villain noticed with satisfaction.

The Titans had forgotten her. They had let their guard down and, when she found them, they were laughing and joking. Time to fix that. She crouched down and placed a hand on her mount, a boulder taken from Titans' Island itself, then leaped off and threw her arm toward the T-Car. It was quite fun to stand in the resulting dust cloud that resulted, watching the car glow green and then one of the rear doors blast itself across the street as Starfire struggled to get out.

She waited until they were all out and the dust had mostly cleared before showing herself. Terra put her hands on her hips and balanced most of her weight on one leg. "Hey guys! Remember me?" Her first sentence was the cheerful greeting that a friend might give; the second, reminiscent of Slade himself.

"Terra!"

Terra smirked at them for a second more. Then she stretched her arms above her head, leaning back slightly, and threw them forward. With her hands, glowing bright yellow, came rocks. The Titans dodged easily and their T-Car took the brunt of the damage instead. Just like she had planned. Terra carried through on her threats. She called a large boulder to smash the precious car to pieces.

"Terra," came Beast Boy's voice. Terra called forward her anger to stop her heart from softening. He had abandoned her. He had broken his promise to be her friend, no matter what. Friends were trivial. Friends made you weak. What a fool she had been, and what an idiot he was!

The street beneat her cracked, lifting her up. She flew full-tilt toward the Titans. They charged her, as well. The road beneath her split and a pillar of rock shot out of it where Robin had just been. Pity. She'd have to try harder.

Starfire was preparing herself to shoot a starbolt at her. Terra easily took her out with a well-placed boulder. Cyborg's built-in canon fired a blue beam at her. Terra slid easily to one side and let it slice her perch. Then the severed half was used to pin him down. Beast Boy managed to clamber onto her piece of street.

"Terra, why are you doing this?! We're your friends!"

Terra leaned forward, her face an inch from his. The hypocrite. "I don't have any friends, _remember_?" she snarled. She punched him, knocking him away, but Starfire easily caught him. Terra tilted the rock at an alarming angle and somersaulted backwards as she jumped away from it. She landed by Robin. Towering above the fallen leader, Terra put as much ice as she could into her gaze. He was barely conscious. Remembering her threat, Terra called two boulders to finish him off. She didn't even bother to lift her hands or check to make sure they had obeyed. She could feel them responding to her. She could also feel when their loyalties split between her and Raven's telekinetic abilities.

"Don't make me hurt you," Raven warned, sounding dead serious.

Terra smiled. "Don't make me laugh." Raven's control was easy to break and she lost her footing just as easily.

Terra turned away. Robin was stirring. A quick glance downward made a wall of rocky spikes shoot up. It didn't take long for Robin to blast through them. Terra reeled backward from the explosion, lost her footing, and landed hard on one shoulder.

"Get up," Slade snapped in her ear. She pushed herself up and found Cyborg pointing his canon at her. Terra smirked. At this range, a blast from that thing would kill her. Cyborg didn't have the guts.

"Sorry kid," Cyborg said, powering up the thing.

Terra drove her fist into the street. Bolts of yellow flew toward both Robin and Cyborg. The power invested into small portions of the asphalt sent them flying. Terra didn't bother to see where they landed, but stood and brushed off the bandages that bridged the gaps between metal plates. Raven was still down, though Beast Boy and Starfire were moving to help.

It didn't matter to Terra which Titan was destroyed first. One was as good as any.

The street was thoroughly ripped up, now, and Terra had her choice as to which part of it would best suit her purposes. The one she chose was much like the boulder that had almost taken her life, the last time control had fled. It was fitting.

Raven, of course, lifted her hand (glowing black with telekinetic energy) to stop the lethal stone but it was Starfire that caught it and hurled Terra's weapon back to its source. What good she thought it would do, Terra didn't know. The result was a short tug-of-war game that only ended when the boulder exploded. Through the dust came the green beams of starbolt-like energy that Slade called 'Starbeams'. Terra, seeing a chance to take out Starfire for good, let it hit her. She made no effort to stop herself from flying backward, ignored the pain resulting from her crash. It was nominal compared to what Slade would do if she failed. Not that she would.

Still, it was easy to fake being injured. Starfire took the bait and flew over at once. The green energy around her hands (the part of Terra that believed her to be a Titan, still, idly wondered why all the female Titans had powers that involved glowing hands. She squashed this part before it could distract her) vanished and the alien knelt.

"Terra..." The genuine compassion in her voice made Terra long to abandon the facade... but it wasn't a facade anymore: it was who she was. Slade's apprentice stifled the urge to do something foolish and drew forward the cold killer that she had become.

Terra opened her eyes and grinned. "You always were easy to fool." Starfire received a jet of concentrated rubble as reward for her stupidity.

Starfire was angry now. Raven and Beast Boy were, too, though Beast Boy's eyes told differently from the fury on his face. Robin and Cyborg ran out from buildings on either side of the street to join their comrades. Grunting with the effort, Terra infused the cracks in the street with enough energy to keep Titans' Island floating for an hour. Out of it sprouted three huge, ugly statues not unlike the hulking Cyclops of ancient Greece.

"That's a new trick," she heard Raven say.

"How did I...?" Terra whispered, staring at her hands.

"You didn't. I did," Slade said into her ear. Before Terra could express her confusion, Slade continued. "Your new suit is more than a fashion statement, Terra. With it, I can tap into your nervous system. Your powers are my powers. My strength is your strength! We are one!" She could hear his yell and, though not of her conscious will, reciprocated it. Her arms lifted above her head, her body bowing backwards for maximum leverage. She brought both fists down on the street and cracks ran all up and down it.

The ... Things appeared behind the Titans and, without any real instructions from her, began to fight the teenage heroes. They were extremely effective. Since they were formed from her powers, they could do just about anything. Since they were made of stone, nothing could hurt them. The Titans grew increasingly more frustrated as the Things appeared and disappeared randomly, wreaking havoc and beating the Titans easily.

"Titans, fall back!" Robin yelled. He threw one of his devices at her. A smoke bomb. Terra inhaled sharply and then clapped a hand over her nose and mouth, coughing violently at the foul scent of sulfur. It stung her eyes.

"Can't see," she gasped.

"Rise above it, child!"

"You heard me! Fall back," Robin repeated. He threw another smoke bomb as Terra created a tall pillar beneath her, putting both clouds well enough away that they didn't bother her at all.

As the clouds cleared, Terra saw a figure standing where the Titans had been. In a minute more, Beast Boy was plainly visible. He stared at her with pleading, longing eyes... Terra sneered, fighting the urge to kill him where he stood. Let them regroup. It would be more fun when they had time to plan.

Beast Boy turned and ran from her, vanishing into the retreating smoke. Terra couldn't stop the small twinge of sadness when he was gone.


	14. Apathetic

**_Author's Note:_**_ (5/1/07) Happy May Day! Is it strange to feel weird about updating very soon after posting the previous chapter (posted 4/29/07)? I had this done yesterday, but I didn't post it. I feel I should warn you... I was extremely hyper when writing toward the end. You'll be able to tell. Sorry._

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter fourteen; Apathetic  
**

Slade, while not happy with her choice, accepted it. He had done the same thing many times. "But," he warned coldly, "if you fail the consequences shall be dire."

Terra bowed her head. "I understand. I will not fail, master."

Later that night, Terra set out to follow through on her threat. The Titans wouldn't know what was happening until it was much too late. First order of business? Devise a distraction. Slade refused to be a part of this; it was her assignment and she would prove herself capable of carrying it out. Her idea? Employ villains that the Titans were familiar with; set them up with pendants like the ones she had; and then send those villains to the most remote buildings she could find. There were three monsters. One of the Titans would have to fight alone: that was the one that she would follow and attack first.

The pipes of each building were filled with a special mixture, about 75 percent dust from the many quarries nearby and slightly less than 25 percent water. She knew that, even with the water mixed in, the stone particles would respond to her and she would be able to make them into any shape she wished. No matter which Titan was caught alone, no matter where, she would be able to eliminate them.

Slade, when informed of her plan, approved and gave her the locations of the three monsters she wanted. He supplied her with enough of the Slade emblems to control all of them. Then Terra set out to destroy the Titans.

Plasmus, Cinderblock, and Overload were only too easy to break out of the high-security prison that had previously confined them. Each recieved one of Slade's emblems on their chest and, as per her orders, they set off to their respective locations to cause havoc and wait for the Titans.

"Well done, my dear apprentice," Slade said in her ear. "The neural sensors are online. Plasmus, Cinderblock, and Overload are in my command."

Terra flew to Titans' Tower where she waited, hovering high above, seeing but unseen. The Titans emerged soon enough. Raven was the one without a partner. Terra followed, high above and well behind. No one ever thought of looking up. No one saw her.

Terra realized where Raven was going moments after the Titan set off. She was dealing with Overload, eh? Overload was securely in an almost impenetrable room, the only possible way in or out being the door. It was at this door that Terra listened. Creaking sounds filtered past the solid steel door and then the gushing of water. Terra grinned. Raven had busted the pipes! She tapped into her powers and held back the stone particles, ensuring that only water gushed forth. When the sounds of Overload's high pitched roars faded, she allowed the stone to mix with the water again.

"Why are you here?" Raven demanded, too preoccupied to notice the sludge. "What's your - uh!" Too preoccupied until, of course, a jet of the stuff hit her in the face when Terra broke the rest of the pipes. She entered, then, solidifying the stone in the muck so that she could step daintily through the muck and not get any on her. The neural controller thingy on Overload's main chip kicked in again, calling the villain back to their master.

"Hel-_lo_!" Terra taunted. "Does the word _decoy_ mean anything to you? We had to find some way to lure you cowards out of hiding." Raven, thoroughly coated in mucky stone dust, scowled dangerously at her.

"Terra," the Titan spat.

"Raven," Slade's apprentice replied calmly.

"Traitor!"

"Witch."

Raven's hands glowed black and Terra's eyes shone bright yellow. They attacked simultaneously, Raven levitating and Terra calling a wave of rock sludge to escort her. With Slade's help, she had discovered her ability to not only manipulate large rocks, but all the way down to a molecular level. With her training, she knew how to trap enough particles of water between her stone so that the stuff stayed semi-liquid. More tricks that Raven didn't know about.

Hand-to-hand was not her strong point and, without Slade's direct help, Raven easily got the better of her. Terra found herself submerged in mud. She quickly made her way to the surface and tackled Raven. The Titan pulled a computer away from the wall and hurled it at her. Terra dodged, now purposely submerging herself in the muck.

The stone parted for her, again trapping enough of the water to create an air hole for her. She waited until Raven let her guard down a little bit, which took about one minute - honestly, these Titans, how had they ever foiled Slade so many times? - before attacking again. A giant stone mallet slammed Raven down into the mud.

"What's the matter, Rae? Tired?" Terra asked innocently, rising at the same time as Raven. "I'm just getting started. You know," she added as an afterthought, "I'm glad I get to take you down first. I never liked you."

"I never wanted to _know_ you," Raven spat. Terra almost laughed. Petty insults only showed that Terra was getting to her. "The others may have liked you, they may have trusted you, but I never did! I always knew you were a liar!"

Terra examined her for a moment before turning her attention to the annoying brown muck, now dry, that coated her. Terra used her powers to clean it off, rolling the stone into a loose ball. "Is that why you let me live in your house? With all of you? Why you let me steal your secrets?"

"Shut up!" Raven snarled, forcing a tsunami of sludge at her. Terra parted the stone in it so that she only got hit with a little bit of water. After cleaning herself up just now, she really wasn't in the mood to get covered in the stuff again. Unlike Raven, it just didn't look good on her.

"Good. You know her weaknesses... Exploit them!" said Slade in her ear.

Terra sent three jets of muck Raven's way. The Titan tried to block them with a shield of her black aura. Terra laughed. Her jets swerved around the shield to hit Raven full on.

"Oops. Did I do that?"

Raven struggled to get up. Terra, along with cleaning herself, had been methodically pushing the water away from her so that Raven found hands and lower legs encased in solid stone.

"What's wrong, Rae? Getting angry? Beast Boy told me about your temper tantrums!" She molded the ball of stone into the likeness of Raven's head, scowling and furious.

"Anger is pointless."

Terra laughed. "Anger is pointless," she mocked. The Raven-head figure talked along with her, moving with exaggerated motions and then imploding into a formless ball of rock again. "And you're calling me a liar? No, you're angry. But are you angry at me... or yourself?

"What got to you the most, Rae?" Terra asked, truly curious. Stone flew up and she used them as stairs to approach the imprisoned girl. "That I tricked you? That I could always fight better than you? Or maybe it was that everyone liked me better than you? Oh, I know! It was that deep down inside, you really believed I was your friend. That was it, wasn't it?" Terra was now leaning within inches of her former comrade, smirking. Raven had been struggling against the rising encasement of rock, but now she looked up. Her face was the portrait of fury: four glowing red eyes and a scowl so murderous that Terra was surprised she hadn't already died. The Titan had grown to a terrifying height. Terra recalled the stories of Dr Light and his general terror of anything that involved Raven. She could understand.

"I trusted you!" Raven thundered. Terra retreated, avoiding the projectiles sent her way. It was a close thing, but she managed. "_We_ trusted you! We took you in and you treat us like dirt!"

"Sure," Terra agreed cheerfully, all the while dodging various pointy objects aimed at the general vicinity of her rib cage and, more accurately, her vital organs. Like her heart. Terra was quite fond of her heart. She had no wish for pointy objects to puncture, poke, mangle, pierce, or otherwise interfere with it. "Most dirt is made of stone! I can control it. Like I controlled you."

Unfortunately, this only served to provoke Raven more. Terra felt her back press against the wall.

"Terra!" Slade reprimanded sharply.

Terra suppressed her fear - no, she told herself sternly, she wasn't afraid. Just a bit apprehensive, that was all. From the sludge that still oozed out of the pipes, she formed stony hands. These gripped Raven's cloak and pulled her back. Raven was determined, though, and continued to lunge forward, trying to escape her hold. She called forth more hands to restrain her. It was working. Six, eight, ten hands finally managed to get her under control.

"Finish her," Slade commanded. Terra drifted down to stand, completely apathetic, in front of her.

Raven shook her head suddenly, two of her eyes disappearing and the remaining pair returning to the normal violet. They held such fear that Terra almost felt a twinge of sympathy. Almost. She gasped for breath before a final burst of power dragged her under the surface. She vanished. Terra waited a moment. When Raven did not reappear, Terra smirked.

One Titan down. This was too easy.


	15. Wanted

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter fifteen; Wanted**

"What was he after? There's nothing to capture! Nothing to steal!"

Robin and Starfire had managed to knock Cinderblock unconscious, rendering him unable to return to Slade. Terra drifted slowly closer, unnoticed, and listened in on their conversation.

"Perhaps he was... Robin!"

Terra struck, hurtling a boulder toward Robin while walking calmly toward Cinderblock. Starfire noticed the boulder and, without time enough to do anything else, she shoved him out of the weapon's path and took the blow herself. It knocked her over the edge of the cliff, into hungry waters below.

"Starfire!" Robin yelled. Standing on Cinderblock's chest as he floated away, Terra laughed. She would get Robin later. Right now, Slade would want his lackey back and the remaining two Titans would be more fun. She couldn't _wait_ to see the look on Beast Boy's face when she sent him to his demise!

---

Plasmus, unlike his fellows, had yet to fall. His presence was a perfect distraction. Terra stood a few meters behind him, waiting. She got bored of watching Beast Boy and Cyborg being beaten by Plasmus.

"Move aside, idiot," Terra scoffed. Plasmus stopped fighting and moved obediently aside.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were stunned, for now at least, by the sight of her. She guessed that they hadn't expected her to show up here. Their surprise gave her a few moments to examine them. Cyborg had his canon out and aimed in her general direction. His expression was slowly turning more angry than surprised.

"Terra," Beast Boy murmured, taking a step toward her.

Terra sneered and flicked her wrist. A chasm opened up just behind Cyborg. He struggled to keep from falling into it. Terra lifted her head, eyes glowing slightly, though she did nothing with her powers. Cyborg tumbled backward, into the abyss, yelling as he went. Terra savored the way it faded slowly to silence. Beast Boy looked back at him, and then ran toward her. "Terra, stop, we're your friends!"

"Saying it again doesn't make it true," Terra snarled. The earth rolled beneath him, rising up in a wave that trapped his feet only to release them in time to hurtle him after Cyborg. The small green boy scrambled at the rocks. His fingers found a hand hold and he clutched it as much as he was able. Terra strode calmly over to the edge and peered down at him. "I hope you're not expecting a goodbye kiss."

"Terra, you can't," Beast Boy pleaded.

"Watch me." The chasm began to close again. She relished seeing the terror in his eyes.

Just before it shut him off completely from the world, Terra heard him try one more time. "Terra, _please_!"

Terra could not stop the single tear that trickled out of her eye. "Four down, one to go," Terra said aloud, furiously wiping the droplet from her cheek.

"Excellent, my apprentice. Take a break before going after Robin. I've got something you will enjoy seeing."

"Yes, master."

---

Slade's surprise was a video of the last moments of the Titans: Raven's terrified eyes, her gasp as she was pulled under. Starfire's shriek as the boulder sent her hurtling, helpless, toward the jagged rocks jutting from the ocean. Cyborg's yell as he plunged into nothing. Beast Boy's last final pleas, his eyes desperate.

Terra smiled.

"If you don't mind, master, I'd like to finish my mission."

"Yes, go," Slade said dismissively. Terra turned. She was almost gone when Slade called after her, "Make sure his end his amusing."

"Yes, master."

She exited the hideout and set off to find Robin, but he had found her. The roar of his motorcycle made her look up. Robin leapt off with freakish daring, using his feet to push to bike aside in midair. He tackled her while the shock of his sudden appearance was still wearing off and, in no time, she found one of his arms wrapped firmly around her neck. His weight was a sufficient weapon to keep her still.

"Don't move," he warned, drawing a bird-a-rang and pressing its tip to the soft flesh under her chin.

"What's the matter?" she ground out, making no attempt to escape the weapon even when the sharp points dug deeper, threatening. "Feeling lonely since I killed the rest of your friends?"

"They're your friends too!"

Terra laughed. He had been talking to Beast Boy, apparently! "I neither have nor need friends!" she snarled, struggling to throw him off.

"What did we do?" he asked angrily. "What did we ever do to make you hate us?"

Nothing! They had done nothing. She didn't hate them, she wanted to give up now and hope Robin just killed her. It was the least she deserved.

Terra's eyes glowed yellow. She pushed these weak thoughts away, angry at herself for having been drawn out of the cold-hearted killer's mindset that she was so familiar with now. Instead of voicing an apology or a plea, Terra went with the most cliche line she could think of: "You were born!"

With a violent flash, the rocks under them shot up. They struck Terra none too gently, sending a jolt of blunt pain up her arm and through her shoulder. She deserved it, she knew. The impact also forced Robin away. He landed lightly on his feet. She landed on her feet, as well, though not so lightly.

"I promised Beast Boy I'd give you one last chance! And this is it." Reaching for some weapon on his belt, Robin leapt at her with a yell.

Sometimes, Terra couldn't shake the feeling that Robin saw the world as a bad action movie in which he was the star.

Robin was a lot better at hand-to-hand combat than she was. He grabbed her arm on her first attempted punch and swung her around into the nearby chain-link fence. Before Terra could react, he had grabbed her other arm and his boot in her back was pressing her into the fence.

"Look at yourself, Terra! Is this what you want to be?"

There was a window behind the fence. It was dark out, so the window could have been a mirror for how reflective it was. Terra could see herself in it. She didn't want to look at herself. Despite the many that she had killed without so much as a flinch, she knew that her anger would break if she looked long. All she had to do was extricate herself from his blasted fence and...

There. Suddenly, the situation was reversed and it was Robin with his face pressed into the chain links. "I'm just never going to be good enough for you, am I?" Holding Robin immobile by his wrists, Terra used Slade's assistance to sling him over her head and an impressive fifteen feet away. Robin struggled to sit up. He tried to stand, but collapsed to a kneel again.

"It doesn't have to be this way! I was Slade's apprentice - I got out. So can you!"

"Robin, Robin, Robin," she cooed. "What makes you think I _want_ out? What makes you think that I didn't volunteer myself in the first place? I _wanted_ to be Slade's apprentice. I _wanted_ to spy against you and your little friends. I _wanted_ to have control over my powers. I _wanted_ to kill. I _wanted_ to be a villain. I _wanted to destroy the Titans_! I'm not some sad little girl waiting to be rescued! _I'm not Delani Miller!_" Her speech had grown angrier and angrier with each new sentence she voiced. At the third, small boulders had begun throwing themselves at Robin. For the most part, he dodged. Occasionally one would strike, but they were glancing blows of little or no consequence.

Terra lifted her chin and walked toward Robin. The closer she came, the more controlled and deadly became her weapons. One managed to pin him down by the cape and, as he struggled, Robin was pelted with smaller stones. They were not going fast enough to kill, oh no, but they could cause pain.

Finally, Terra came to a stop looming over Robin. His masked eyes were wide with fear and grew wider when a boulder lazily floated over to hover above his head.

"I wanted," Terra finished quietly, "to do _this_."

The boulder dropped.

In her ear piece, Slade laughed.


	16. Growl

**_Author's note:_**_ I admit, I am feeling a little bit disheartened by the lack of reviews... Not a one for the last five chapters. Any input is appreciated, even if it's to tell me that my story stinks and I should take it down. It's unnerving to not know how my story is being received._

_Also, if you've noticed, my authors' notes get progressively more formal as the chapters do. It's hard for me to switch between mannerisms. Whatever I read or write becomes the way I speak. Okay, I've talked enough. Onto the chapter._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter sixteen; Growl**

Robin's emblem skidded across the floor and stopped at Slade's feet. The master criminal knelt to pick it up. He examined it silently for a full minute. Terra waited, unmoving, unthinking, unfeeling, hardly breathing until the moment when judgment would be passed. Finally, Slade looked up at her. Terra took a tiny breath. He looked angry. When he spoke, he also sounded angry as well. But his words belied his manner.

"You have done very well. I couldn't have done it without you."

A small pride flared in her chest that he was complimenting her, but it subsided just as quickly. No matter the situation, she would not allow herself to feel. That wasn't a problem. The small voice that had always rebelled had been gone as long as the Titans had. What she felt inside could be compared to being submerged in ice water. She was numb. She felt nothing. She needed to feel nothing. That was how it should have been since the beginning.

"Now that the Titans are gone," Slade continued, "now that you belong only to me... The city belongs to us. Shall we claim our spoils?" Terra lifted her gaze from his feet to his face. Her eyes sparkled malevolently. A feral smile curled over her lips.

"I can't wait."

---

Slade's robots stormed the streets. People were confused, watching them. They also watched Terra, hovering over them with an expressionless visage, her eyes and hands glowing brilliantly and her flat mount keeping perfect pace with the robots. The streets rumbled, swallowing those that didn't run. Most, seeing their friends disappear into the hungry stones, got the picture and ran. Screams bounced off the buildings. The robots did not stop for anything, did not deviate from their course. Not an inch. When the road turned, they kept moving forward, plowing down skyscrapers that barred the way.

Buildings fell. People fled. If they did not fall, they were pummeled with weapons, Slade's high-powered guns and laser-shooters as well as Terra's more primitive rocks, until they were nothing more than rubble. If they did not flee, they died. It was as simple as that.

The screams of the citizens were music in Terra's ears. She reveled in their terror. But the best part of this conquest was not the screams. Not the sudden power they were forcing themselves into. Not even the ease with which they accomplished everything.

The best part was that there were no Titans to stop them. The Titans were gone. The cats were away, leaving the mice to take over the city.

And she did.

Jump City fell in a single day, a single hour. No one offered any resistance. And now, all that was left was to expand their reach. The old saying, though stupid and overused, was true. Today, the city. Tomorrow, the world.

But 'Tomorrow' would not come until Terra had complete mastery over her powers. Soon, she would not be permitted to wear the bracelet that restrained her powers. That had been decided long before. She would rule the deserted city until she ruled her powers. And then they would dominate the globe.

---

A week after the city's fall, Slade stopped monitoring her as constantly as he had. She was required to wear the ear piece, still, but he would not constantly listen. What was there to listen to? She carried, instead, an audio recorder into which she would record the events of each day.

Her rounds were dull. There was never anything to report. Slade knew this, but she carried the thing anyway. It was suggested that she record her thoughts on the new power she held so that, in years to come, she would remember the triumph of defeating the Titans.

"My name is Terra," she said once. Even Terra could hear the change in her voice. Though its pitch and timbre had not changed, her voice was cold, empty, devoid of emotion or inflection. "I have done horrible things. I have sworn to serve a dark master. I obeyed his every command and committed many crimes in his name."

Squadrons of robots marched below her. Terra drifted along with them. From the corner of her eye, she saw a somewhat familiar sight. The pizza place that the Titans so favored was directly to her right. She stood not ten feet from the place where, so many times, she had laughed and eaten with the Titans. It was devoid of the happiness and life that it had always seemed to hold.

"I have betrayed and attacked everyone that used to be my friend," Terra continued. In her mind's eye, she saw the rift that had swallowed Beast Boy and Cyborg. Now, however, it vanquished them all. One by one, they plummeted into its depths: Raven. Starfire. Robin. Cyborg. Beast Boy. Their expressions were matching visages of terror and confusion. The rift then closed, barring any escape they might have had. Terra smiled and continued, "One by one, I have destroyed the Teen Titans."

She now passed a bank. This same one, only a few months ago, had been robbed by the idiotic Mumbo Jumbo. One well placed boulder had taken care of him and the stolen bills had rained down while the Titans cheered for her. She had stopped Mumbo. There was no one to stop her.

The narration continued. "With no one to stop me, I have brought an entire city to its knees." Again, the terrified expressions of the Titans as they fell to their dooms flashed through her mind. Beast Boy's face lingered, hurt, horrified, pleading that she stop the madness.

Near the bank rested a park, gray and gloomy. She remembered walking through this park with Beast Boy, laughing at his jokes and conversing easily and naturally. Now, there were no jokes. What words were shared between her master and herself were short, clipped, orders or reports with the intention of extricating oneself from the presence of the other as soon as was possible.

Below her, the robots marched on. Their footsteps were an unceasing and monotonous anthem that rang through the city in perfect unison. Terra finished her soliloquy. "My name is Terra. I have done horrible things. And I have absolutely no regrets."

Terra completed her rounds and recorded the results. Nothing had moved. Nothing was alive. Just the way it was supposed to be.

A front was moving in. Though it was noon, the ground was covered in mist. The droplets of water floated everywhere, obscuring vision past a range of a few feet. Terra thought nothing of it.

"I really did it," she murmured to herself, floating down to hover beside her robots. "They're really gone."

Tendrils of black energy wrapped around one of the nearest robots. It collapsed, instantly incapacitated. An electric blue beam sprang from behind her, destroying both the robot that stood in its path and the rock she stood on. Terra skidded over the ground, grunting lightly with each new impact.

Slade spoke. He had apparently been watching, but had said nothing. "Apprentice, report! What's going on?"

Terra climbed to her feet. "I don't - " she started. The mist cleared briefly, just enough to reveal five familiar silhouettes. She took a step back. "No! I ... I destroyed you!" she shouted at the shadows. Then the mist closed in again. Terra was helpless.

"Attack! Now!" Slade snapped.

Terra did so, but her weapon sliced harmlessly through mist and empty air. Terra's eyes darted to and fro, anxiously trying to pinpoint locations. Light footsteps echoed around her. Shadows darted through the protective covering of fog. Every one of her attacks were met with nothing more than the thud of stone on stone.

Running. Behind her. Coming fast. Terra didn't have time to dodge, or even turn, as a heavy fist that could only be Cyborg's sent her catapulting forward, tumbling head over heels. The instant she landed, a green flash caught her from the side and carried her swiftly along its course. The starbolt was none too gentle. When it dissipated, Terra continued backwards, skidding on her back. She sat up, rubbing her head, but froze when the easily recognized form of the cloaked Raven approached.

She had been caught off her guard. There was no way she could win. Terra had to get away. A column of stone rose to help. Another starbolt made it crumble and she fell. Terra managed to flip in the air, this time, and landed in a crouch.

Snarls filled the air. Not Robin's snapped insults, but the steady, wordless, ongoing growl of an enraged beast. A huge and unmistakably predatory shape was moving slowly and steadily closer.

And suddenly, Terra knew exactly how the Titans had felt.


	17. Fire

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter seventeen; Fire**

"Beast Boy," Terra called, edging away from the snarling animal. He advanced another step. Twice more. The growl continued, loud and low and livid. "Beast Boy, stop! A-aren't you even going to talk to me?"

Two more steps advancement.

"There's nothing left to say," spat Cyborg's voice from nearby. Terra turned, aware of the danger she was in now. She could see Cyborg's outline. Starfire materialized nearby, but not close enough that Terra saw her clearly.

"You attempted to annihilate us!"

"Did you think we wouldn't take it personally?" Raven had joined Starfire.

Robin completed the circle. "It's over, Terra!"

She was surrounded. Terra circled, glaring defiantly. She could kill them all, right now, giving them no chance to put up resistance. But she didn't. Power surged down her arms, through her hands, into the street below. A large chunk of it carried her away. Looking down, she could see the Titans emerge from the mist. She saw their faces, the anger each displayed.

Her powers had been in constant, though not copious, use over the last weak. They faltered. Terra dove dangerously close to the torn street. It would be safer to continue on foot. Abandoning the rock, Terra ran. She ran until her legs burned from the unaccustomed exercise and her breath was ragged in her lungs. Then, and only then, she ducked into an alley to rest.

"Where do you think you are going?" Slade whispered, his voice soft and dangerous.

"I - I don't know! Anywhere! They would have killed me. I had to get - "

"No! I will not tolerate failure! Do not run, apprentice. You will stay. You will fight. You will win! Or I will kill you myself."

"Yes, master."

Terra poked her head out of the alley. The Titans had already found her, evidenced by Cyborg charging toward her. Dangerous or not, Terra had to use her powers. She tore off both of the bracelets that restrained the full extent of her powers and threw them away. Cyborg's fist found its mark on the space between her collarbones. Terra, as per usual, was sent flying backwards. She landed on her feet and immediately drew her powers into play.

Two huge chunks of asphalt and rock, each weighing at least a ton, flew at the robotic man. He dodged one and Raven caught the other. The Titan hurled it back. Terra leaped out of its way, calling a part that splintered off to carry her. Starfire was waiting above and dove at her. Terra threw herself into the open air with a cry of surprise. Another, similar chunk of rock caught her.

Robin was present, as well, and it was his weapon that caught her and pulled her to the ground again. Terra retaliated with twenty small rocks hurtling to the Titans' leader at lethal speed. One of Starfire's starbolts caught her in the back, then, and they kept coming even as Terra turned to defend herself.

Cyborg used Terra's distraction to knock her off her feet with his canon. Terra cried out in pain as she landed hard again. A nearby bus was suddenly dropping toward her. Terra knew she would be crushed if she didn't act... But what could she do? She struggled desperately to remember Slade's training. She could do this. Slade had taught her everything she needed to know, including how to manipulate her element down to its very molecules.

The earth swallowed Terra. It squeezed together to allow her to tunnel through it, letting her reappear behind Raven. But she didn't attack. She had to get away. The earth lifted her, enabled her to fly away before Raven knew that she was alive.

A giant bird - no, a pterodactyl - swooped toward her. Beast Boy.

As much as she tried, as much as she wanted it, she could not remain numb in his presence. She tried. She really did. But she couldn't do it. Terra turned sharply and flew as fast as she could. Away from the Titans. Away from Beast Boy. Seeking the numbness that she knew would not return.

"Slade!" Terra cried in desperation. "Help! I can't do this alone!"

"Dear child," Slade replied smoothly, instantly, "you are never alone." He accessed her powers and the street crumbled, revealing Cinderblock, Plasmus, and Overload. Terra neither knew nor cared what happened next. Her whole body ached from being thrown around so much, and from the unaccustomed load of her unrestrained powers. She had to get away. There was only one place she could go, as much as she dreaded it. Back to Slade.

Her footsteps echoed eerily in the passageway five minutes later. She was panting when she stopped before Slade.

"I made it," she gasped. "I'm alive. I can't believe they almost beat me!"

Too late, she realized the homicidal glitter in Slade's eye. He was advancing slowly and deliberately. "That was nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you."

He delivered a swift kick to her largely unprotected stomach. Terra gasped, clutching her middle and stumbling backwards. Slade was not going to go easy on her. His open hand lashed across her cheek so hard that her neck was instantly hot from whiplash and stars spun in her vision. He continued mercilessly for minutes, hours on end, eventually picking her up by he hair and throwing her across the room. Terra lay still, whimpering quietly. The bandages that bridged the gaps between metal plates had been ripped loose. Most of them were hanging limply from her arms and legs.

"You failed me, apprentice," Slade snarled. "I ordered you to eliminate the Titans. You did not. I commanded you to fight! You ran."

Terra struggled to her feet. "You can't treat me like this!"

"Can't I?" He kicked her squarely in the ribs. Terra lost her footing and slammed hard into the rough metal wall behind her. She yelled and collapsed again. "Who else would have you, my dear? You've done horrible, unforgivable, things. Where can you possibly go?"

Pacificsville flashed across Terra's mind. She wasn't about to voice the name of her little town, though! Oh, no. "Anywhere but here!" Terra said, pulling the last strains of strength from the deepest reaches of her being. The rocks themselves lent her fortitude. She could stand firm. Terra put both hands to the plate metal on her chest and pulled with all her might. Slade laughed.

"The suit has integrated itself into your neural system. Into your very skin. It's part of you... and so am I."

"No!" Terra cried, pulling harder. The metal didn't budge.

"You chose this," Slade continued. "It's far too late to back out."

"It's not to late to leave!" Terra protested. She turned and made to do just that.

"I'm afraid you no longer have any choice in the matter." Her suit buzzed and hummed and Terra fell to her knees. The pain was worse than she could ever remember it: when she was four, and her powers first appeared, that had hurt. But that seemed like no more than a pinprick now. The agony of Slade's first experiments seemed like a simple bump to her funny bone, uncomfortable but more annoying than anything else. She was paralyzed, and yet trembling, numb, but not too numb to feel pain. Not too numb to be unaware. And that was exactly how Slade wanted it.

Slade beckoned. She had not the will, or the strength, or the ability to stand. But she stood. Standing made the pain that much worse. So did walking, but her feet moved anyway and she found herself approaching Slade. He was speaking, but Terra couldn't make out his words. Everything was a blur. She couldn't think, couldn't breath, didn't know how she was still conscious.

Slade had stopped speaking, had walked away, but still Terra was unable to move. Finally, with a gesture from her master, his control of her receded and she collapsed again. The buzzing and whirring stopped, as well, but she was on fire inside. She was burning from the inside out. It was torture. She sobbed hopelessly. Slade would kill her. He had said as much, time and again. But he wasn't going to let her die easily.


	18. Stone

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter eighteen; Stone**

How long had it been? Since she had collapsed here, sobbing, waiting for the fire to claw its way to the outside and finally, finally, kill her. Had it been seconds? minutes? hours? days? She didn't know anymore. She just didn't know.

"Terra...?"

That was Beast Boy's voice! No, she must have been imagining it. He couldn't... be _here._ There was no way. Shakily, she raised her head. Yes. It was Beast Boy. He had come. Maybe he could save her.

"Kill me," Terra begged him. "Quick! Please."

"What?"

He wouldn't. He was too kind, too caring. He couldn't commit heinous crimes, like killing, even though her life was worth nothing. But... She had caused him so much pain - it would be better for everyone involved if he just killed her. "Come on! Do it! Isn't that what you came for?" Her tone was taunting, but the plea was still there, underneath.

Her suit began to hum and whir again and Terra groaned, longing to just lay down and die. She tried to, she really did, but of its own accord her hand lifted and rocks came from every direction to attack her would-be savior.

"Forgive my apprentice. As usual, she can't seem to control herself." Slade advanced toward Beast Boy. Terra staggered to her feet behind him, her uniform moving her according to Slade's will. "So from now on, I will be controlling her." The metal pieces on her temples pulsed and, suddenly, Terra was a spectator in her own mind. She could but sit in a corner of her consciousness, watching through her own eyes as if seeing a movie on a screen. She was trapped, immobilized, but by what she did not know.

Terra watched as she attacked Beast Boy again and again. He always dodged. He never struck back. Terra heard her own voice, faint with distance: "Come on! Fight me! Or are you too scared you'll hurt me?" Laughter. Her own laughter.

Beast Boy turned and tackled her. His current form, gorilla, had mass more than sufficient enough to knock her over and muscle enough to pin her arms and legs. The shock of the impact freed Terra. It was a curious sensation, one's being swelling to fill their own mind, but Terra found herself able to move and speak of her own will.

"Beast Boy, please! You have to kill me! I don't want to fight anymore."

Beast Boy shrank and she was suddenly staring into a Titan's face, rather than a giant monkey.

"Then stop fighting!" he snapped.

"I can't! Don't you get it? I can't!" Terra cried, tears welling in her eyes. While she had not been in control, she had not felt the pain and had grown used to its absence. That, combined with the hopelessness of her situation, was quite reason enough for the tears to come. "Slade controls me! I can't do anything!"

She screamed and struggled as Slade fought to control her again, but he was far stronger than her. She once again was stranded in her own mind, watching in terror as Slade fought Beast Boy through her. That didn't last long, the watching. A fog closed in around her. She couldn't see. She couldn't think. She couldn't hear. She couldn't feel. Terra had no idea how long she sat there, unable to move, nothing more than a fragment of thought in a body that was no longer hers.

The fog cleared away gradually, until Terra found herself able to see and move. She fought until she was in control again and took stock of the situation. Beast Boy's foot was trapped beneath a boulder. He lay in front of her, helpless, staring at her with large, determined eyes. Terra's hand was outstretched, glowing yellow, and a cone of rock was hovering, point down, directly above Beast Boy's heart. She was surrounded by the Titans. Their words were violent, pleading, soothing, each trying to talk her out of the deed she was about to commit. Only Beast Boy was silent, just looking at her with those eyes...

Terra trembled. She didn't want Beast Boy to die. Slade was rising up in her mind, trying to take control of her again. He would kill Beast Boy if she let him. She wouldn't. She couldn't. Beast Boy wouldn't die because of her.

"Terra! Attack!" Slade snapped, having failed taking over her mind. She looked at him, her eyes as wide as a deer's when headlights blared from no where. She took a deep shuddering breath, listening to the increased efforts of the Titans. She couldn't move for indecision. She didn't want Beast Boy to die. She didn't want the Titans dead. But Slade controlled her and she had to obey his order.

The rock trembled in the air and began sinking toward Beast Boy. Her eyes were locked onto Slade.

"Terra." She hardly heard her own name, so quietly spoken was it. But she heard. Her gaze snapped onto Beast Boy. He was ignoring the deadly weapon that approaching him, instead gazing at her with his heart shining clearly in his eyes.

"NO!" Terra screamed suddenly. She clenched her fist and swung it swiftly around until it faced Slade. The rock swivelled, its point now on Slade, and flew toward him. Slade caught the point and threw it aside. Terra whimpered as pain flooded through her again. Her feet stumbled toward her master, controlled again by his will. She looked at the Titans, pleading with them to end her life, but none of them moved. Robin stared grimly at her, his face betraying nothing. Raven was likewise stony. Cyborg and Starfire had pity in their eyes, but they would not move without Robin's command.

"No!" Terra cried again, forcing herself to stop. She gritted her teeth against the urge to take another step toward Slade, felt the pain intensify more and more until it was unbearable... But still, she would not move. "You can't control me any more!" She ground the words out laboriously, struggling to remain tall and upright, each word a battle in and of itself. The rocks offered no support to her. She would have to do this alone. And she could do it.

Terra regretted taking off the power restraining bracelets. Her powers were running rampant inside her, eager to break out now that they were finally free. She directed her power to the rocks beneath Slade's feet. They crumbled, sending her strong master plunging helplessly into the volcano he had so bravely set up as his headquarters. But the small outlet loosed more energy than just that in the interval before Terra could close it. The ground rumbled. The molten lava that gave light to the hideout sluggishly swirled closer and closer. Glass shattered. The lava oozed in slowly. Terra was barely conscious.

"Terra's powers!" she heard Robin call. "They've triggered the volcano!"

"It's big enough to destroy the whole city! Too big to be stopped," Cyborg added. All Terra could think about was the swirling power inside of her, crashing against her, begging for release.

_"Delani Katherine Miller! Pick up this mess right now!"_

_"But... Rhea...!"_

_"Rhea, don't be so mean to her. 'Lani, you can't leave a mess everywhere you go. You have to pick up after yourself. Okay?"_

_"Okay."_

"We have to get out of here."

Terra looked around at the volatile volcano. Realization crashed down on her, even as Raven blocked a chunk of the ceiling from crushing the Titans. This was her mess. It was no different from toys left on the ground. She had caused this, and now she had to fix it. Even though she knew Slade was dead now, the fire that he had kindled inside of her would not be quelled. It would kill her eventually, so she might as well clean up after herself.

"Terra, come on!" Beast Boy said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Terra didn't know how he could stand to touch her after all that she had done.

"I can't," she replied, turning.

"What? We have to go! This thing is big enough to wipe us all out!"

"This is my mess, Beast Boy. I have to clean it up. You go. My place is here."

"Terra..."

"If this thing doesn't kill me, I'd die anyway! I want to protect your city... You have to go."

Beast Boy said nothing, but she knew he understood.

"BB, come on!" Cyborg yelled.

The rocks between the Titans the place where Beast Boy stood with Terra had split. The giant chasm would be insuperable for anyone that couldn't fly. Terra dislodged a chunk of rock and ferried Beast Boy over to them. He stepped off and turned to leave.

"Beast Boy..."

Beast Boy froze and turned slowly. There were tears in his eyes when he looked at her. Terra hugged him, cautiously. He was trembling. She was, too, but for a different reason.

"I came into this world as Delani Miller," she whispered, feeling tears stinging her own eyes. "I want to leave it as Delani Miller. Beast Boy, you were the best friend I ever had... I just want you to know that."

She pulled away. Beast Boy gazed at her until the urgings of the Titans grew too insistent to be ignored. "Goodbye, Delani." He turned and was gone.

Terra took a deep breath. The rock beneath her floated up to the center of the volcano, above the lava that was steadily climbing toward her. The Titans had vanished to safety. Terra watched molten magma gathering beneath her, reveling in its destructive beauty.

There had been many times in her life when she had thought she was going to die, and even more when she had wished for the permanent reprieve. Somehow, though, she had never thought of this as the way she would go... Defending her enemies and preserving that which she had fought so hard to destroy.

Terra tapped into her powers and opened herself to the world. Yellow energy swirled around her, more than there had ever been before, more than she had ever known she could possess. Her eyes, though the glow in them was brilliant, were not blinded. She saw the whirlwind starting up, circling like a dog might its master, completely and totally in her command. The rock beneath her crumbled under the onslaught, but Terra did not fall. Her hair floated up as if faced with a high wind and her bandaged form defied gravity as she floated, unaided.

She spread her arms wide, threw her head back, and screamed. The strident sound echoed off of liquid rock. Terra clenched her eyes shut, though it did nothing to block the tears that trickled from them. She was frightened out of her wits but determined to see this endeavor through till the end: hers, the volcano's, both, it didn't matter. The end was the end. Her powers flared briefly inside her, a conflagration greater than any she could imagine. Her life energy flared with it. And then... both dimmed. Her powers were but a candle flame, growing smaller and smaller until they were gone completely. Forever.

She was stone. In an effort to preserve her, and perhaps as payment for all that she had been put through on their account, her powers had encased her in stone. No, she was not encased in it. She _was_ stone, frozen forever, a statue but for the wan life that still flickered weakly within her. Terra couldn't breath. She couldn't think. Couldn't see. Anything. She was not human, but stone.

The life in her flickered... and died.

---

_**Author's Note: **Whoo! Glad that's done with. I could end the story here, but I've still got plans for Rhea, Keb, Terra, Slade, and the Titans. Tune in next time for part two!  
_


	19. Tower

**_Author's note:_**_ Yes! Finally! Part two! In this part... The return of Rhea, Keb, and Slade! The entry of the infamous OC I've been promising since chapter one! More violence, character torture, and killing stuff! And... a happy ending! (I put my characters through a lot of crap, but there's always a happy ending!) I had planned on letting the story sit for at least a week, but it was calling to me._

_AMOP: -ring ring- Yes, is this Tayk? Hi. This is AMOP with a special message... WRITE ME!_

_That aside, I just realized something. This is my first actually serious story... It's much longer than a one-shot and I take it very seriously... Unlike AMOT, which was just thrown together and forgotten about in turns, TT which would never have worked in the first place, AMOF which had is hand held the entire way through, and even BnJ which is almost entirely nonsensical... Wow. Yes, I'm done rambling now. Here's a long chapter to balance it all out._

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter nineteen; Tower**

The candle of life within her flickered into existence again. Terra was alive inside the stone body that had been made from flesh. Suddenly had the transfer been made from flesh to rock, and suddenly was the transformation to flesh again. Unused to the absence of unbreakable solidity, and taken by surprise at the sudden presence of life again, she collapsed. She lay still for minutes on end, breathing slowly, disoriented and unable to recall anything. Her name, her life, her friends, her death... nothing.

The girl groaned, finally, and pushed herself upright. She looked down at herself, but the plate metal armor, if such scant covering could be called armor, and the ragged bandages that bridges the gaps and covered flesh, were wholly unfamiliar to her. She frowned. Tugging at the edges of her mind was a nagging urgency, as if there was something she needed to do... Soon... But what could it be? She didn't even know who she was, or where, let alone how she had gotten there and what she had done to inspire such a guilty conscience!

Her eyes cast the rocky underground cave for some clue to solve these mysteries. They landed on two things: first, a bouquet of roses bundled in a white paper vase; second, a plaque on the platform from which she had fallen: "TERRA; A Teen Titan; A True Friend".

And it all came flooding back.

Terra clutched her head with the weight of the memories suddenly imparted on her. They flashed swiftly in her minds eye, each image lasting no more than a fraction of a second. And yet, with each came a flood of sensations. Emotions, sights, sound, even smells and tastes in some cases. Despite the morbid nature of many of the memories, Terra could not stop the dry smile from tugging at her lips. _Glork._

How would she ever be able to face the Titans? Even if, at the very end, they had forgiven her... How could she tell them that she was alive?

---Temporary POV Change: Beast Boy's Point of View---

Beast Boy was having strange dreams. That he was dreaming was strange in itself. He hardly ever dreamed. These were especially troubling. He didn't know what they were about, exactly, but he knew who. It wasn't hard. There was only one person with blond hair, blue eyes, and a blue butterfly clip. There was only one person named Delani Miller. 

The dream was not images so much as feelings. When he dreamed normally, he was a spectator and little more. Sounds, scents, they were muted while images were vibrant and lucid. This was the other way around. Beast Boy could hear perfectly, and he found himself empathetically feeling along with Delani, who would one day kill herself for his sake. His sight, on the other hand, was distorted. People and objects were little more than blurs of color.

He felt her happiness and the warmth of her brother's arms around her. He was older than she, much older, but that was inconsequential to their love for each other.

He felt overwhelming sadness, confusion. He recognized Delani leaning over two people, adults, clearly dead. She demanded, sobbing, that they stop sleeping and get up.

He felt searing pain and cried out as flying rocks slammed into Delani. Her older sister was struck, as well, and the wounds the brown-haired girl sustained were obviously lethal. She stared at Delani with such betrayal in her eyes that Beast Boy felt it, too, along with Delani's emotions. He watched as the sister slowly lifted a hand to her bleeding chest and then collapse. Horror and anguish were added to Delani's physical pain.

In his dream, Beast Boy watched Terra grow up. She traveled where she pleased, where she was needed, but retained a special fondness for two places: a town, small and nondescript, and the fair that they had visited together. She met the Titans. It was intriguing to see himself from her point of view. She ran away and Beast Boy witnessed the circumstances that had led to her being apprenticed to Slade. Beast Boy lived and died along with her in the final moments of her life.

Then his dream took a clearly fanciful turn. Beast Boy found himself beginning to awaken. He fought it, watching joyfully as Terra sprung to life again.

"Beast Boy," she sighed. The Titan was unable to resist the calls of the waking world. Terra's voice was fading, but he heard her finish the comment. "What am I supposed to do?"

Beast Boy sat up in bed. He found that his body ached dully with the remnants of Delani's pain. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and looked around. It was the middle of the night. Flopping back onto his bed, Beast Boy closed his eyes and focused hard on the last part of the dream, wishing for it to come true. He ran his fingers over the opposite palm, tracing the scars that existed on another's hands.

"Follow your heart, Delani," Beast Boy said. "That's what you're supposed to do."

He dropped into sleep again and did not dream.

---Terra's Point of View---

A faint whisper echoed through the empty cave. Or had she imagined it? There was no one here other than her. "Follow your heart, Delani... That's what you're supposed to do."

Heart... did she have a heart anymore? Terra put a hand to her chest, still clad in the suit that Slade had given her. Through the metal she felt a faint th-thump... th-thump... th-thump... that signaled the beating of her heart.

The Titans. She had to get to the Titans. She had to get to Beast Boy.

But... her powers were gone! What would she do once she was there (and how could she get there? The only way across was by boat or flying)? If they turned out to be hostile, still, she would be unable to fight or flee. If they asked her to join them, she would be useless, a liability.

Terra was so wrapped up in pondering this problem that she did not notice as the rocks glowed yellow of their own accord, the exact same shade as the glow of her hands and eyes so often had. The yellow grow grew stronger and stronger as more of it gathered on the rock faces. Every surface was covered. Then, tendrils of the energy seeped from their host and into the air, swirling slowly like a dust cloud contained in a place with no wind. This cloud grew larger and larger, brighter and brighter, until Terra could not fail to notice it.

"Is this my powers?" she murmured, staring. The glowing cloud approached her slowly until she was engulfed in it, covered in it. Her skin tingled as warmth crept into her. After a long while, the tingling grew less and the cloud was gone. Terra could feel her powers inside of her, calmer than she could ever remember them being. She knew, somehow, that once loosed they had carried out her dying wish. The last vestiges of the volcano that had once lay in wait under Jump City were gone. The volcano would never errupt.

At least she had done something right.

Terra frowned. She had thought for sure that the escapade would have killed her, and she had been prepared and even eager for that. It had been the reason she told Beast Boy her name. The reason she had tried to reconcile with the Titans and stand up to Slade. She wasn't strong enough to do any of that. It had been the knowledge that she was going to die, and that she didn't want anyone dragged down because of her worthlessness, that had prompted her to do all that.

And now that she was alive, she had to fix another mess.

Terra worked her way up the passage that led to Jump City, creeping cautiously through the open and ducking behind stalagmites whenever she had the chance. She couldn't explain the feeling she had, the feeling that she had to hide.

Terra emerged into the open air of Jump City. It was dark, chilly, exposed. Terra glanced back into the cave. It would be so easy to go back in, hide, never come out and ignore the whole mess... But she was determined to not run from this. Terra pointed at the rocks and summoned a few pebbles. She tucked two into each glove and a few into her socks. Carefully, Terra fed power into the pebbles. They unsteadily lifted her and carried her through the empty streets.

Everything was eerily quiet. The moon was full and cast a pale, pallid light over the city, bathing everything in silver. The few late night wanderers stared at her, their faces and hair pale and eyes shining in the moonlight. Terra hunched her shoulders and bowed her head. She felt like a fugitive, like a freak, like the traitor she was. Everyone seemed to be judging her.

Cool air played around her face, brushing her hair away from it and making Terra shiver. The wind over the ocean was colder and Terra was glad to land on Titans' Island. She sheltered in the lee of the Tower and rubbed her arms.

The Tower loomed over her like a stark reminder of her faults. "The alarms will go off," she murmured to herself. "I can't get in... they've probably programmed them to go off when I try to get in..."

Still, she hard to try, didn't she? Terra toyed nervously with the end of one of the bandages as she approached the front door. She placed her palm on the sensor. It beeped faintly. A mechanical voice welcomed her and the door slid open with a hiss. Terra stepped inside.

She waited. Silence. Her ears rang with it. There were no alarms. None! "Well..." Terra breathed, "that was easy..." She tread carefully over the threshold, hardly daring to breathe, but still nothing happened. Heart pounding with nervousness, she gingerly picked up a pad of paper and a pen from the counter by the refrigerator. Nothing happened, still, so Terra forced herself to relax. She leaned against the counter and bit her lip.

_Meet me on the roof at 10 PM,_ she wrote. _I'll be there every night. _Terra signed her initials, "DM", then changed her mind and scribbled them out. She drew a rock. Then she tore off the sheet of paper, replaced the pencil and pad, and folded her note carefully.

Terra's breath was short and ragged with nervousness. Her steps were feather-light, but they seemed to echo loudly in the hallway as she picked her way down it. She glanced nervously at each door she passed, reading the name inscribed on each. Robin. Starfire. Cyborg. Raven. Beast Boy. She stopped and then sidled toward this last door, carefully. Terra placed her hand on the sensor here, too, and entered when it hissed open.

Beast Boy slept peacefully on his bed. The green Titan was muttering occasionally. His room was a disaster area, everything flung haphazardly around. Terra couldn't help herself. She placed the note on top of one pile and then approached Beast Boy's sleeping form. Terra cautiously stretched out a hand and ran her fingers lightly over his cheek, almost unaware of her actions, as if she was in a trance. This trance was broken when Beast Boy's face tensed. His expression turned troubled and his mutterings became more distinct. He was going to wake up! Terra, suddenly afraid, cast wildly around for a place to hide. She tucked herself behind a pile of clothing just as Beast Boy yawned widely.

He sat up. Terra listened to him shift and sigh. "Just a dream," he said, his words a bumbled mess. "Nighty night..." There was a dull thump as Beast Boy flopped back onto the mattress. Terra did not move, hardly taking a breath, until Beast Boy gave a huge snore. She could feel her heart thumping and the adrenaline rushing in her ears. She wasn't supposed to be here. She had to get out of here.

Leaving the note, Terra fled the room. She forced power into the pebbles in her socks and gloves, lifting herself off the floor so as to flee swiftly but stay quiet. The doors rushed past on either side until something caught her eye and made her stop. The something was just another door, without inscriptions. Terra floated closer until she could read the clean spaces where letters used to be. Terra. Her room. Unable to resist, she pressed her hand to the sensor and entered.


	20. Coming

**_Author's note:_**_ I stink so much at fluff. This chapter is awkward and weird. Not the touching reunion scene I'd hoped for. Suggestions will be given serious consideration and thanked a million times over. Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last couple chapters! I feel warm and fuzzy inside._

_If I'm getting on your nerves with my erratic updates, I'm sorry. I'm totally in love with this story, even if it's awkward and needs work (all my stories are unbeta'd, by the way), and as soon as I finish a chapter I post it so that I can work on the next._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty; Coming  
**

Her room was just as she remembered it. Everything. The ceiling sparkled with tiny pinpricks of light. The circular couch, the glass wall, the computer in the corner... They were all the same.

Terra felt tears prick in her eyes. She had really messed up. The Titans had given her all this, a home, and yet she had betrayed them. She felt like trash once again and it was all she could do not to collapse, sobbing. Instead, she took a steadying breath and walked over to her dresser. It contained, or should contain, multiples of the outfit she had always worn. It did. Experimentally, she tugged at the metal plate on her chest. A clasp in the back popped and the entire piece came off in her hands. Delighted, Terra rid herself of Slade's uniform, bandages included, and donned the familiar black long-sleeved shirt and yellow shorts.

Terra glanced out of the window. The sun was rising over Jump City. The Titans would be awake soon and she wouldn't have a chance to leave, hide somewhere else. She really shouldn't even risk leaving this room. Her room. That was alright. It was nice to rest here, in a place she was so familiar with.

Even so, the wait until nighttime when she could meet Beast Boy was excruciating. Every once in a while, footsteps would pass by the door. Voices would sound just outside. Terra would tense, hide under her bed or in the closet, or crouch behind the dresser. But no one ever came in. In between moments of hyper-tense adrenaline rushes, Terra was bored. She didn't dare do anything for fear of making noise and attracting someone's attention. By the time the sun set, at about seven that night, Terra was bored out of her mind. She still had three hours to wait until she could go to the roof. Sighing, Terra flopped - quietly! - onto the couch to wait.

---

The clock was taunting her. She was sure of it. That was the only reason it could be changing numbers so slowly. An eternity and a half after she had flopped down to wait, the digital green numbers changed to 9:45. And Terra couldn't wait the last fifteen minutes. She had to get out. Now. Even if it meant being spotted and attacked by the Titans. Humming the Mission Impossible theme song, Terra crept through the hallways towards the roof. Maybe a day of self-imposed containment and utter boredom had driven her insane. It seemed likely.

The first breath of night air sobered her quickly. Terra sighed in contentment. She sat on the edge of the roof, knees tucked to her chest, and waited.

"Terra?"

The voice surprised her so much that she almost fell off the roof. Terra sprang up and whirled around. A green figure stood in the doorway, staring at her in utter disbelief.

"Terra?" Beast Boy said quietly, unable to process her presence. Terra gave a small smile.

"Yeah," she replied.

"But... but... how...?"

"No idea." Terra was practically trembling with happiness and nerves. "Listen, Beast Boy... I know that I did some awful things back... you know... And I'd understand if you wanted me to leave right now... but I'm really, really, really sorry and... can you... forgive me?"

"Terra, I forgave you a long time ago." He hugged her. "I can't wait to tell the others! They'll be so happy! We really missed you."

"Beast Boy, please! Don't tell them!" Terra was frightened of the prospect of facing all the Titans, all at once. "I just... I can't take it... I'm afraid of what they'll think."

Beast Boy stared at her for a long moment and then nodded, smiling his understanding. "Maybe I could just tell one person? Cyborg? He won't tell a soul."

Terra stood torn by indecision. "Beast Boy? I, uh... I wrecked his car."

"Ah... good point... Starfire?"

"Insulted her intelligence."

"Robin?"

"Threatened his girlfriend."

"... Raven?"

"Oh, no, please don't tell her!"

"Oh, uh, hey guys. What's up?" Beast Boy laughed nervously. Terra turned... and found herself face to face with the Teen Titans.

The Titans stood there, gaping at her. Even Raven's mouth was wide open. Terra hid behind Beast Boy, knowing that the surprise would not last. The Titans never lost composure for long. Beast Boy knew this, too, and spread his arms protectively. Sure enough, Robin drew a few bird-a-rangs. Raven's hands began to glow and she scowled. Cyborg's arm morphed into a canon. But it was Starfire that attacked first.

With a squeal, the Tameranian launched herself at Terra, shoving Beast Boy aside. She grabbed the smaller girl in a bone-breaking hug. "Terra! You are alive! You are not dead! Oh glorious day!" Terra felt her face turn red, and then blue. She struggled to breathe, let alone talk.

"Star, you're hurting her! Ease up! Ease up!" Beast Boy cried, tugging futilely on Starfire's arm in an effort to get her to let go. Giggling sheepishly, Starfire released her. Terra staggered back, gasping for breath.

"Okay," she said when she could breathe normally again. She gingerly poked her ribs, wondering if anything was broken, as she continued, "as I obviously was an idiot to come here, I'll just leave. I hear that China is quite nice this time of year. You guys will never have to hear about me again." Terra backed away, toward the edge of the roof, but she found herself instantly surrounded.

Once, back when she was about twelve, Terra had stayed in New Mexico for a few days, watching a pack of wolves. There had been two wolves that no one messed with, some puppies, some wolves that didn't seem to be anything special, and one that got pushed around constantly. When this last specimen couldn't take it anymore, he would whine and push his ears back, crouch low to the ground, tuck his tail between his hind legs and smile. He would be left alone for a while, until the others thought he'd had ample time to recover, and then start right back in on him.

Terra thought the lowly wolf had the right idea. She decided to forgo the whining, but she hunched her shoulders and smiled nervously. Robin pressed one end of his bo staff to her throat.

"Where's Slade?" was the first question he asked. Oh, great. Interrogation time.

"Buried under seventy tons of volcanic rock," Terra spat. "Dead. Serves him right."

"How did you come back to life?"

"Not by my choice, I assure you!"

"What are you doing here?"

Terra's shoulders slumped. "I don't know," she confessed. "It was spur-of-the-moment. I wanted to see Beast Boy."

"Just Beast Boy?"

"Yes. I was afraid that something like _this _would happen. I don't want to fight anymore. I wasn't sure if you guys would ever forgive me."

"Don't you dare get teary-eyed," Raven warned in her monotone. "Crocodile tears don't work on any of us."

"I'm not getting teary-eyed, and if I was they wouldn't be crocodile tears! Look, if you guys hate me so much, just let me leave! I'll go to some far off land where you'll never have to hear about me, and everyone will be happy! I don't really want to die again, as it's not as nice as I always thought, so if you would be _so kind_!"

"You guys!" Beast Boy snapped, breaking ranks to stand beside Terra. "She's sorry for what she did! She had good reasons, and I know just how good they are! Terra's powers - they're pretty much out to get her. Slade saved her life! She owed him big. She didn't have a choice. So drop the hostilities and let her be our friend again!"

Terra stared at Beast Boy, half in gratitude for his defense and half confusion and wonder that he knew all that.

"Yes, please!" Starfire agreed. "Terra has not tried the killing of us since she got here!"

"Rae, you're an empath. She out to get us?" Cyborg asked, turning to Raven. Raven caught Terra's eye and stared hard for a minute. Terra longed to break her gaze, but she didn't dare. Finally, Raven shook her head.

"She's scared more than anything," Raven admitted. The expression on her face was anything but sympathetic.

"Out of my wits," Terra muttered.

Robin sighed. "You wanna be a Titan?" he asked her.

Terra perked up momentarily. Then, thinking it through, she shook her head. "It's best if I just leave. You'd never trust me. I can't blame you for that. I think I'll just be on my way."

"Now hold on, little lady," drawled Cyborg, placing a hand on her shoulder as she turned to leave again. Terra tensed. "You're alive. You're here. You're not trying to kill us... at the moment, anyway. So we need waffles to celebrate! And if you try anything funny, like leaving, I will never forgive you for wrecking my baby."

Terra winced. "I'm sorry about that, too."

"Waffles, then!" Beast Boy proclaimed, grabbing Terra's hand. Cyborg and Beast Boy led the way to the kitchen, despite the late hour, with Starfire swooping happily behind. Robin and Raven were left on the roof with a strange sense of de ja vu.

"And the verdict is?" Robin prompted.

"She doesn't mean us any harm," Raven said, "but I have a funny feeling about this."

"What kind of feeling? Like Terra might do something unintentionally?"

Raven shook her head. "Like something is... coming. Something big. And Terra's involved. I'm not sure if it's going to be a good or bad thing."

They were silent for a while. Cyborg called up to them, "If y'all don't get down here now there won't be any left!"


	21. Home

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-one; Home  
**

Terra never did get around to going to China, like she had planned. Every time she tried, Starfire would drag her to the 'Mall of Shopping', or Beast Boy would bashfully ask if she'd like to play a round of _Zombies Ate My Neighbor's Friend's Cousin's Maternal Great-Aunt's Favorite TV Star's Former Pizza Delivery Guy's Third Cousin Twice Removed's Dog 3: The Special Revised Edition_ (1) on the Gamestation with him, or Robin would invite her to a training session, or Cyborg would insist that if she left now, he'd never forgive her for wrecking his car - that she had to stay and help him work on it, to prove that she was really sorry. Before she knew it, a month had passed and Terra found herself no closer to leaving or joining the team.

She knew that the team didn't fully trust her. Raven especially, but also Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire. She knew that she had done nothing, as of yet, to really earn their trust. They locked her into the Tower whenever they left for a mission. Terra never fought against that decision - it had been her idea, after all. They _did_ give her a communicator. All of them knew that there were villains the Titans couldn't handle, and if they needed help she could be there in a matter of minutes.

That villain came almost two months after Terra began her stay.

"Terra! We need your help. Corner of Fifth and Main," Robin said grimly.

"I'll be there in three minutes, tops," Terra promised. Robin nodded once, told her the unlock code, informed her that it would be changed at midnight, and cut off the connection. Terra unlocked the front door, hauled a boulder into the air, and sped toward the battle site. She was elated. She had always enjoyed fighting alongside the Titans. It was nice to have someone to rely on if you needed help.

The city grew progressively more ruinous as she approached the intersection of Fifth and Main streets. When she caught sight of the villain, however, her heart stopped. Terra went numb. She hurtled recklessly toward the laughing figure, who was batting the Titans' best efforts away as if they were nothing. Terra crash landed beside the new villain, stumbled, and then shouted.

"_Rhea!_"

Time froze. The Titans were shocked into stillness by the sheer emotion in Terra's voice. Sorrow, glee, confusion, awe, fear. The villain had stopped because the Titans had. Now she turned, her long brown hair swaying gently, her purple heart-shaped hair clip sparkling just as brightly as her bright, emerald green eyes.

"'Lani! I knew you'd come eventually! Gimme a hug!"

Rhea was wearing Slade's uniform. Terra shook her head, backing away as Rhea approached, arms spread wide.

"Don't be silly," Rhea scolded, grabbing Terra's arm and pulling her into a hug. "It's been a long time, 'Lani! Seven, eight years? How old are you?"

"Sixteen," Terra answered automatically. She remained stiff in Rhea's embrace.

"Is that so? No, you can't be sixteen! I'm only eighteen. Well, I guess you've been alive longer than I have. So I'm twenty-six, am I? Hmm... Ah, 'Lani, I'm so happy to see you!"

"You're working for Slade," Terra said quietly, her voice trembling.

Rhea released her and looked down at her outfit. "What? Oh, no, I just liked his style. Snazzy, isn't it?" She turned, modeling for Terra. "Anyway, now that you're here, we've gotta go. Come on!" Rhea smiled a genuine smile, but Terra backed away again, shaking her head.

"You're dead," she whispered, oblivious now to the eyes of the Titans on her. "You're dead... You're dead..."

"Hm? Well, from what I've heard, so were you. Apparently, your powers can't make people stay dead," Rhea drawled. She cocked her head, pondering. "I wonder why?"

"S-stay away from me!" Terra yelped, breaking the street to aid her and turning to flee. Rhea laughed and pulled up beside her on a similar chunk of pavement.

"I can do that too!"

Barrages of small- and medium-sized rocks and stones pelted Rhea. As suddenly as they had appeared, they turned back toward Terra. Rhea yawned, casually flipping her wrist as if conducting an orchestra. Terra dodged. She glanced back at the Titans for a split second. They stood in shock at the striking resemblance between their friend and this new villain. Beast Boy was, of course, the only one who knew that Terra had a sister. He wasn't dumb. He could only stand there, wide eyed, struggling to take in the fact that they had been fighting a dead girl.

"Useful, these powers. Aren't they, 'Lani? You won't kill me so easily!"

"You're dead," Terra continued to mutter. "Leave me alone. Just leave me alone!"

"Aw, 'Lani, I'm hurt! You don't like me anymore? I missed you! Come here." Rhea drifted close enough to grab Terra's arm and pull the smaller girl onto her mount. Rhea made a move as if to hug her, but at the last moment twisted Terra's arm painfully behind her back with one hand and grabbed her neck with the other. The maneuver was professionally executed and, within seconds, Terra was helpless. The former Titan writhed and squirmed, trying to get away.

Rhea returned to float near the Titans. To her horror, Terra saw the street beneath them turn to quicksand and swallow the Titans up to their necks before turning solid again. Of course, they fought to get free. But no matter what they did, Rhea made it so they couldn't get free. Raven shot Terra a furious glare.

"Do anything - try to get away, try to use your powers, anything - and I'll kill them. Don't think I won't," Rhea whispered in Terra's ear. To the Titans, she called: "I'm gonna borrow 'Lani for a while! You probably won't see her for, oh, a couple years at the very least. 'Kay? Kay! Bye-bye!" She turned and the rock began speeding away. Terra heard Beast Boy calling her, but she didn't dare move. She had already killed herself once for them! She wasn't going to let that be in vain now... even if she wasn't dead anymore.

At first, Rhea didn't go far. Just to an alley near Jump City Airport, where she had obviously stopped before. Two backpacks waited there. Rhea landed and released Terra.

"I can kill them from here," Rhea warned, "so don't try anything."

Terra was silent. Rhea grabbed the backpacks, tossed one at her, and opened the other. She pulled out a tee shirt and a pair of jeans, which were slipped on over her Slade-style uniform. Curiously, Terra opened her backpack. It was empty save a small paperback book.

"Come on, 'Lani! We've got a flight to catch in about half an hour, and it'll take that long to get cleared and everything!"

"Flight? As in, on an airplane?! To where?!"

"Home, where else? Let's _go_ already!"

---

(1) An ongoing inside joke... Sort of like "His skin is cold... like plastic!" _ZAMNFCMGFTVSFPDGTCTRD3:TSRE_ (whoo! That's a doozy!) is actually based off of a real video game called _Zombies at my Neighbors_.


	22. Land

**_Author's Notes:_**_ I've been on exactly... three planes in my lifetime. And that was about a year ago. All three within a week. So everything I have written about planes comes from vague recollections - and, yes, I was right next to the wing all three times. It's the only view I know... And, yeah, I have been to Bloomington Airport. Got a connecting flight to Chicago from Bloomington. Nice place. I've spent a large portion of my life in Central Illinois, so I'm writing about what I know. It would have worked better to set the story in Denver, but as I've never been there... Well, I didn't want to get it wrong. Sorry! I know these are all excuses. Feel free to criticize._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-two; Land  
**

"You know the drill. I need your jewelry, bags, shoes, jackets, and anything metal to go in these bins. Step through the metal detector and you may reclaim your belongings soon thereafter," drawled the bored security guard at the entrance to the terminal. He had obviously said this so many times in his career that he couldn't be bothered to care anymore.

Rhea pulled a gray bin toward her and emptied into it some change from her pockets, her boots, and the simple bracelet on her wrist. Rhea moved toward the metal detector. Terra narrowed her eyes. Under her tee shirt was a plate metal outfit. There was no way it wouldn't go off. Rhea stopped before entering, however, and dropped her clip into the bucket. Terra was dumbfounded. Their clips were the last vestiges of Keb, and their parents. Terra had never, _ever_ taken hers off willingly. And Rhea, when Terra was Delani, could not be seen without it. But Rhea dropped it into the bin with a disdainful sniff and flounced through the metal detector without another thought. There was no wail, not even a beep. No hint of sound.

The guard poked through Rhea's bag, was satisfied that it contained nothing deadly or illegal, and gave the bin back to Rhea. He pushed another expectantly toward Terra.

She obediently placed her Titans communicator in it, her backpack, and her shoes. She started to follow Rhea, but was stopped.

"I need your gloves and your clip, miss," the guard said. Frowning, Terra pulled off her gloves and placed them in the bin. She shoved her hands quickly into her pockets. Apparently, that movement made the guard suspicious. "I need the clip, and I'll need to see your hands, miss. Just routine."

Terra shook her head mutely. She couldn't bring herself to take off the blue butterfly ornament.

"Good grief, 'Lani!" Rhea fumed, marching back through. She smiled flirtatiously at the guard. "Please forgive her, sir. Her hands are badly scarred. It's a vanity thing, you understand." Rhea pulled out Terra's clip and dropped it in the bin.

"Rhea!" Terra gasped, furious, but the older girl was forcibly dragging her through the metal detector. For the third time, nothing happened, even with Rhea's uniform. The instant she could, Terra grabbed her clip and returned it to its place, then pulled on her gloves quickly. Her shoes and bag were reclaimed more slowly.

"Thanks for your time," muttered the guard, once more bored out of his wits. He returned to his post and rested his chin on his hands.

---

"Flight K-3 is now boarding," announced a tinny, monotone, female voice over the intercom.

"That's us! Come on, 'Lani!" Rhea chirped. Terra glanced at her. Though Rhea was smiling, her eyes glinted in a way that was not cheerfulness and, worse, she still hadn't put in her clip. Terra stood and followed Rhea to the gate. People were already lining up. A flight attendant was checking tickets before allowing people to exit the terminal and go to the plane. Rhea, when it was their turn, handed the man two tickets. He punched them and handed them back, nodding once. Rhea pulled Terra through the door and to their seats on the plane.

Terra had never been on an airplane before. Rhea had, obviously, as she settled right down in her seat. Terra, by the window, shifted to look out. The plane's wing stretched out beside her.

Before takeoff, about fifteen minutes later (Terra had resorted to reading the book in her bag. It was thoroughly boring and yet, somehow, strangely fascinating at the same time), a flight attendant ran through the emergency procedures with the passengers. The pilot reminded them to please fasten their seat belts and keep them fastened until the light went off. The plane whirred loudly. Terra put the book away and gazed out the window again. Strangely, the wing was pushing out a metal flap, curved, with little shingles like feathers or something. Terra felt the plane rise and blinked at the sudden heady rush.

"Chew on this. Otherwise your ears will pop," Rhea said, holding out a stick of gum. Terra shook her head, making the older girl roll her eyes. "Suit yourself. And don't blame me."

Terra felt the pressure rising uncomfortably in her ears and swallowed hard a few times.

---

The sisters didn't talk at all for most of the flight. Terra finally decided to break the silence after finishing the novella for the second time. "Rhea, why are we going to Denver?"

"Connecting flight," Rhea yawned. "We're actually going to the Midwest, but they didn't have any flights from Jump City."

"Where are we going?"

"We're landing in a little town called, what was it, Bloomington. That's the one. Now shut up. Read that book I gave you."

"Did already. Twice."

Rhea rolled her eyes. "Next you're going to be asking if we're there yet." She pulled out a phone and dialed. Terra listened to her side of the conversation. "It's me. ... Rhea, you dunce! Yeah, _oh._ Anyway, we're on our way. ... 'Lani. 'Lani's with me. ... I don't know. Maybe two hours? ... You'd better be there. ... Yes. ... No, let it be a surprise. ... That was sarcasm! I swear, you're such an idiot. ... You'd better be. See you in a couple hours." She hung up.

"Who was that?"

"Don't ask stupid questions. I'm in a bad mood." To herself, Rhea muttered, "I don't believe him. How could Slade let such an idiot work for him?!"

Terra was silent for a few moments. "Rhea?"

"What?"

"Are we there yet?"

Rhea rolled her eyes. "No, we are not, Delani. And if you even think about asking that again, I swear that you shall find out how painful it is to have a super-heated pebble forcibly inserted into your digestive tract, especially when it gets stuck there."

Terra winced, turned to the window, and said no more. Rhea was wearing Slade's uniform, which meant she had been or perhaps currently was under Slade's tutelage. That meant that Rhea, too, knew the three basic rules of villainy.

She watched the clouds passing by, utterly bored, until the wings whirred again and the feather-like contraptions prepared to land.


	23. Repeto

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-three; Repeto  
**

The plane landed, the passengers were thanked and bid a good day, and Rhea dragged Terra through the terminal. As before, she had trouble with the metal detector - namely, unwillingness to relinquish her clip.

"Honestly, 'Lani, why do you always wear that thing? It's not even pretty."

"Keb gave it to me!" Terra snapped. "I promised that I'd always wear it - and so did you!"

"Stupid of me, wasn't it?" Rhea agreed. She shielded her eyes and scanned the circle drive. A small dark blue car had just pulled up. Rhea smiled. "There's our ride. Come on."

She led Terra toward the car and climbed into the front seat. Not knowing what else to do, Terra clambered into the back. A man, perhaps late teens or early twenties, sat in the drivers seat. He looked normal, even nondescript, with cropped blond hair and brown eyes. He smiled pleasantly in the rear-view mirror at her.

"Delani Miller, isn't it?" he asked.

"I'm Terra."

"Of course you are," Rhea scoffed. She glared at the man. "Why do you care anyway? I told you already. Let's go."

The man nodded and began driving. There was no conversation as he wove through a small town, into the cornfields beyond. Terra marveled at the flatness of everything. She had never been this far east. There were no mountains. Not even a hill, really. Just... corn. Lots and lots of corn. And, occasionally, some soybeans. But mostly corn.

---

They drove for hours, or so it seemed. Certainly long enough that Terra was thoroughly confused. She had long since cross-eyed from staring at endless identical rows of corn. Finally, the car pulled to a stop outside a small, run down building. It was a farmhouse, obviously long since abandoned.

"We're here," the man announced cheerfully, climbing out. He scurried to hold Rhea's door open, and then Terra's. Rhea accepted the gesture as if she was used to it. Terra, having never had someone hold a door of any sort open for her before, blushed and muttered a thank you.

Rhea approached the door and opened it without knocking. "We're here," she called. "And 'Lani is, too!"

The man ushered Terra through and closed the door after entering himself. Terra was shocked into complete stillness by who she saw (although, considering Rhea, she really shouldn't have been surprised). Slade was standing in the dimness of the room, looking utterly bored.

"It's about time," he drawled. "Dear child, welcome. I've been waiting for you."

"So we're going downstairs now?" Rhea asked eagerly, pulling off her tee shirt and jeans so that she was wearing her Slade uniform again. Being her, the man did the same and was revealed to be wearing the male version of Slade's uniform. It looked exactly like the outfit Beast Boy had described Robin wearing, except that it was about twice as big because Robin was a shrimp.

Terra had a very bad feeling about this.

"You've been a very bad girl, child," Slade chided. "Betraying me, killing your siblings, setting off that volcano..." He trailed off, looking at her. "So I've enlisted some help to help you see the error of your ways. Did you introduce yourself?" The last comment was directed to the man still standing behind her, leaning casually against the door now. He shook his head.

"Oh, let me!" Rhea said excitedly. "Delani, this is Repeto." (1)

"Sounds German," Terra said.

"It's Latin," scowled Repeto.

"He's sensitive about the name," Rhea explained. "Anyway, Rep here has an interesting power. Rep, wanna show her?"

Repeto looked thoughtful, then shrugged. "Miss Terra, if you would look this way, please..." Terra didn't want to. But she found herself turning and her eyes connected with his. They were a dark, sort of goldy-brown. Terra found herself instantly transfixed. She trembled, feeling something sift through her mind, and then gasped slightly at the rush of imagery that suddenly assaulted her.

She was eight. Keb and Rhea held either hand and all three were smiling broadly. Keb let go of her hand and ran a few meters. He picked up a rock and tossed it to her while Rhea moved away a few feet. She caught it and spun around, the rock spinning with her and then crashing into the rock face opposite. She giggled at the cloud of sparkles discharged. Keb tossed another and she repeated the move, but this time the rock struck a loose piece behind her.

Everything seemed to be intensified - the horror as three tons of rock smashed onto her brother, the pain as her powers exploded, the numb shock and the sight of Rhea's blood blossoming from a wound she had caused. Everything was sharp and clear and seemed to be moving so slowly, but over before she could think. Everything was like a dream. And when it was over, Terra found herself on the ground, sobbing. Her hands were on fire, as if the injury to them had been repeated just now, and her body ached from the impact of boulders and the effect of her powers.

Rhea was giggling. Slade said nothing, but Terra knew him well enough that he was taunting her inside. Terra refused to let so much as a single tear fall. She wouldn't cry in front of Slade or Rhea, or Repeto. It was a close thing, though. Terra's breathing was shaky as she struggled to stay the tears welling in her eyes.

"Fun, isn't it?" Rhea laughed. "Rep's powers are so cool!"

Repeto grunted lightly and Terra heard the barely restrained pride.

Terra blinked her eyes free of tears and took a shaky breath. She pushed herself to her feet and turned to the door, intending to leave. Repeto quickly moved to block it, shaking his head.

"Sorry, Miss Terra, you're not allowed to leave."

Terra scowled, determined not to give these people what they wanted. Her eyes glowed yellow, as did her hands, and her arms trembled slightly with the effort from keeping her cool.

"Move," she said.

"Dear child, I'm afraid that's simply not allowed." She felt Slade's boot plant itself in her back, between her shoulder blades, hard enough to knock the air from her lungs and knock her to the ground. The wooden floor had rotted away for the most part, baring the concrete foundation beneath. It swallowed her hands to the wrists and her bent legs to just above the knees. Rhea sauntered up to her and snapped a bracelet onto her forearm, just above the wrist. Terra recognized the bracelet. It was the same experimental kind that Slade had tested on her, draining her powers away. Rhea snapped a cord into place on the plain band and stood back. The bracelet glowed yellow. Terra's eyes widened with dread.

Then the pain hit and she wanted to collapse, but with her wrists and legs trapped she couldn't. Her eyes glowed vibrantly and her body trembled with hot-flashes of pain. Terra bit her lip to stop herself from screaming. She couldn't stop herself from whimpering, however, and she heard Rhea laugh quietly again.

Though her brain was foggy, Terra forced herself to think. She was obviously trapped here, with no way to escape or even move. Rhea and Slade were out to get her, she could tell that from a glance at them, and she didn't know Repeto at all, other than what his powers were capable of. He wouldn't help her.

Then someone turned up the power and Terra was unable to think anymore.

---

(1) - I don't like the name, but it's better than Memoria. If I remember right, it's Latin for... recall, as in remember. Memoria sounded too girly.


	24. Talk

**_Author's Note_**_: I don't much like this chapter. It seems so... ick. But I'm pretty late already, updating, and I feel bad about the time it would take to make it acceptable. Maybe another couple weeks._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-four; Talk  
**

With the Titans:

"So, how are we going to find Terra?" Beast Boy asked Robin, hovering nearby the masked leader and glancing continually at the large computer in the common room.

"We're not," Robin replied, leaning around Beast Boy to see his game of the video game with the annoyingly long name that was mentioned a few chapters ago.

"WHAT?!" Beast Boy considered swearing at him, but then remembered that he was the star of a children's cartoon and, as such, could not swear lest he traumatize the youngsters. He moved to block Robin's view again. "Why aren't we?!"

"Because it would be impossible," replied Robin, edging to the side.

"Says the guy who tries to track the dead villain!"

"Look, Beast Boy," snapped Robin, pausing the game and setting the controller aside. "That villain - "

"Her name's Rhea."

"How do you know that?"

"Some detective you are! Terra yelled her name."

Robin scowled. "Whatever. Rhea dragged Terra off, we don't know where. They could have gone in any direction, changed direction at any time, gone by any means, _we have no idea_."

"Says the guy who tries to track the dead villain," Beast Boy repeated. "It's gotta be easier to find two people! Especially when one of them has a _Titans' communicator_!"

"Get real, Beast Boy! Rhea is a villain! Don't you think she'd have taken the communicator?!"

"Not if she didn't know about it."

"Fine, we'll try it." Robin snapped. He stood and marched over to the computer. He tapped angrily at the keys and a number of blinking dots appeared on a world map. Robin tapped a few more keys, narrowing down the map to the United States. Five blinks were concentrated in California, a few in various other parts of the country... Two in New York, except one of them suddenly moved to Boston. That would be Kid Flash. Robin tapped a few more keys and the map narrowed to the midwest.

"Got her," Robin announced. "Somewhere between Champaign and Kankakee, Illinois."

"See? That was easy!"

"Or, at least," Robin continued, ignoring Beast Boy, "that's where her communicator is."

"Well, can we got check?"

"No. We can't leave the city unprotected."

"Can I go, then?"

Robin hesitated. And hesitated. And hesitated some more.

"I said," Beast Boy began, "Can - "

"I heard what you said! I'm thinking." Well, that was a first. "Fine, go. But if you're not back in a week, we're coming after you."

"I'm going now!" And with that, Beast Boy ran out of the tower, transformed into a hawk, and flew off.

---

Almost a week had passed since Terra's first experience with Repeto's powers, and every day she had had another bout with them. She had discovered, however, that Repeto was not as cruel as his powers suggested. It was subtle, and she seemed to be the only one paying attention enough to see it. Every time he had made her remember something - her parents' deaths, her siblings' deaths, the day that she had told Beast Boy about being Slade's apprentice, her own death - she would come back to her own mind and see tears in Repeto's emotionless eyes.

It was the middle of the night and Terra was afraid to sleep. She was tired, yes, but with the resurfacing of her worst memories, she was afraid that they would replay as nightmares. It was just as well that she was awake because that meant she was aware of Repeto approaching.

"Miss Terra," Repeto whispered. Terra felt a hand on her shoulder. She sat bolt upright, eyes wide but averted. Another thing she had figured out was that Repeto needed eye contact to use his powers. "Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything. Word of honor."

"I don't trust the word of anyone who works for Slade," Terra said. "Especially since I know that it means absolutely nothing."

"Here." Repeto took off the bracelet that Slade had fashioned and pressed a pebble into her hand. "Cross my heart and hope to die. Just don't tell."

Terra gaped at him. "You realize you've given me everything I need to kill you and get out of here, right?"

"I've been inside your mind. I trust you. Please don't go. I'll get in a lot of trouble. I just wanna talk."

"Huh?" Perhaps Terra's favorite part of herself was her ability to always be eloquent.

Repeto lowered his eyes. "When I use my powers, I see the memory that comes up. It's like it's my memory. You've been through a lot... I'm really sorry. I am."

Terra was stunned by this revelation. She shook her head and hissed quietly, "Why should I trust you? You're Slade's apprentice. You could probably kill me in three seconds."

"That's true. I could. But I've given you everything you need to kill me first, and escape." He pressed something else into her hand.

Terra looked down and recognized the yellow object in the faint light. "My communicator!" She had seen Rhea give it to Slade. If the master criminal had been messing with it, it was certainly broken or bugged. Terra didn't dare turn it on.

"Would you mind if we started over?"

She didn't trust him... much, but he had basically placed his life in her hands. She nodded mutely.

Repeto stuck out his hand. "My name is, ah, Repeto. Nice to meet you."

Terra shook his hand. "Terra. Nice to meet you."

"Will you trust me for a couple seconds, Miss Terra? Enough so that I can use my power?"

Everything in Terra screamed at her not to. But, suddenly, a thought hit her. What if Repeto sincerely didn't like his situation? What if, like she had, he wanted to make amends? Terra sighed and looked straight into his eyes. The result was instant. His eyes flashed and Terra experienced the now-familiar rush into her memories. She winced, wondering what horror awaited her now.

But it wasn't a horror. Terra found herself laughing and joking with the Titans, eating pizza, generally just hanging out. Even Raven was smiling and less cynical than usual. Terra remembered that day, only a week or so before her betrayal, as being quite possibly one of the happiest of her life. When Repeto stopped his powers, she was smiling. He was too.

"I don't really like doing bad memories," he admitted. "I have to live them, too, and it's not a lot of fun to live people's nightmares." He shuddered and shook head and then looked at her seriously. "How good are your acting skills?"

"Huh?"

"How good are your acting skills?"

"Good enough." She waited for an explanation.

Repeto just smiled. Dawn was beginning to break over the cornfields. Repeto anxiously glanced around and snapped the bracelet back onto Terra's wrist. She handed him the communicator, but tucked the pebble into her pocket. Bidding her a hurried goodbye, Repeto exitted the room. Terra flopped down and closed her eyes, but she couldn't sleep.


	25. Ashkum

**_Warning: _**_In this chapter, I demonstrate my utter uselessness with maps. That's why it took so long... I had to get a proper town. Robeson and Ashkum, Illinois, ARE real towns... although I relocated Robeson... and I have never been to either of them. I apologize if anyone has and is offended by my completely made-up descriptions.  
_

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-five; Ashkum  
**

That day was much a repeat of the others, with one notable exception. Rhea giggled and Slade looked on in satisfaction as Terra vainly tried to avoid Repeto's eye. It didn't work. Emotionless, he grabbed Terra's chin and stared into her eyes. Again, Terra felt the rush that meant she was plunging into her memories.

This was almost a year ago, now. This memory. She and Beast Boy were the only ones in the room, which was unusual, but they were amusing themselves by competing at one of Beast Boy's best video games, the first in the series with the annoyingly long name. Terra won, of course, and Beast Boy congratulated her with kind words and a peck on the cheek.

Now Terra knew why Repeto had asked about her acting skills. She was right - he was trying to make amends. Terra lowered her head when she came out of the memory, making sure her hair shielded her face. She breathed harshly, trying to make it hitch every now and then, and clenched her fists so hard that her arms shook convincingly. She heard Rhea's barely stifled laughter and wondered if the act was working.

"Are you ready to join me, child?" Slade drawled again. "Ready to take your rightful place by my side, destroy our enemies once and for all? That is what stops all this."

Terra let her head droop a little and shook it. Slade sniffed disdainfully. Repeto took a handful of her hair and jerked her head up. Terra winced. He hadn't been gentle. But she could handle it. His eyes captured her and the process began again.

---Beast Boy---

Beast Boy flopped onto the side of the road, panting. It was almost nine in the morning. In the eighteen hours since leaving the Tower, he had traveled across California and Nevada. Nevada seemed to go on forever! He had thought for a while that he'd never see the extremely welcome "You Are Now Entering Utah" sign. He hadn't eaten or slept. Beast Boy pulled out his communicator and flipped it open. Terra's blinking light was still so far away from his. Beast Boy got to his feet and changed into a camel. Sleep wasn't that important. He could go on. For Terra, he could.

---Terra---

Terra wasn't stupid. Following the attempts to break her mind with the memories, the bracelet on her wrist would be switched on. Terra could always feel the drain on her powers. She had, by now, figured out where Rhea's sudden powers came from. They weren't hers at all, but Terra's. Somehow, Slade had thought up a way of draining and storing her powers, then channeling them through another bracelet, which Rhea wore. She remembered the plain metal band from the brief moment in which it had been in sight, at the airport.

She gritted her teeth, determined to bear the burning pain quietly. Her breathing came in sharp hisses, however, which accomplished much the same thing as a scream would have. Namely, amusing her captors and doing nothing to get her out of the situation.

When they called it off for the night, almost three hours later, Terra could only curl up on the floor, weak and shaking. They hadn't let it go on for so long before. The most before now had been forty-five minutes or so. She wasn't really aware of anything except in the vaguest sense. Later, the lights turned off. Some time after that, footsteps creaked around on the old floorboards - the ones that hadn't rotted away, at least.

"Miss Terra?" asked a vaguely familiar voice. She felt something warm on her shoulder and came back to herself with a painful little jerk. The shaking stopped and was replaced by a dull pain. She grunted and curled up more tightly. The voice - she recognized it as Repeto's, now - sighed and said, "Are you okay, Miss Terra?"

Terra mumbled a vague retort and squeezed her eyes shut.

Repeto sat down beside her. "You know," he said absently, "when I use my powers, sometimes I get a ... a glimpse of memories that I don't want to call up. Does that make sense? I know what it felt like for that bracelet thing to do, uh, whatever it does. If I could stop it, I would, but I haven't got any combat-based powers or anything, so..." While he talked, his hand had been gently rubbing her back. It felt nice; really, what was it about someone rubbing your back that was so comforting?

Terra took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The Titans will come," she mumbled with as much conviction as she could muster... which wasn't much at the moment, admittedly. "Then I'll get out of here."

"Yeah," Repeto said. "Getting better?"

"No."

"Need a bit longer?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." He didn't say anything else, and neither did she. Terra felt like she could trust Slade's strange apprentice. What would the Titans think if she could tell them that?

---Beast Boy--

Beast Boy frowned, examining the blinking lights on his communicator. It looked as if he needed to go north, but he was fairly certain that if he didn't go south he'd end up in Lake Michigan somewhere. Maybe there was more than one town called Robeson, Illinois. Beast Boy admitted defeat and turned to commit the ultimate male taboo: asking directions.

"Can you show me where we are?" Beast Boy asked a gas station cashier. He offered a state map that had been plucked from a nearby rack.

"You gonna buy that?" asked the acne-plagued teen. Beast Boy shrugged - what could it hurt? - and pushed some bills toward him. The cashier opened it, shook it out, and pointed to a place on the map. There was a tiny dot labeled Robeson. Beast Boy pulled out his communicator and compared it to the map. It was hard, as the GPS inside his communicator was just a grid of lime green on a background of darker green. "What's that?"

"Nothing," Beast Boy said, frowning with concentration. "Hey, you think you could help me out? I'm this blinking light, see, and I need to get to the other one. About where would that be?"

The communicator was promptly snatched. "To figure that out, we gotta be sure they're on the same scale... Otherwise you might end up going the right direction but a thousand miles long or short. It looks like I just have to... okay, there we go. There's a distance of about an inch, so that's... fifty miles on the map, and you end up... It looks like it's near... Ashkum! Ashkum, Illinois. Here." The pimpled teen pointed to a tiny dot beneath Kankakee.

Beast Boy committed the location to memory. "Okay, thanks." He reclaimed his communicator and snapped it into its place on his belt, wrestled with the map for a while in an attempt to fold it, and left the gas station. A line had formed behind him by this time, so Beast Boy scurried out of the station and folded his map outside. He tucked that into his belt, too, morphed into a sparrow and flew off again. Fifty more miles and he'd be able to save Terra.


	26. Dreams

**_Author's Note:_ **_I think that when I finish this story, I'm going to go back and combine chapters... -frown- If this thing gets to more than thirty, I'll be very unhappy... Sorry, this is a useless note. Long chapter, though! Whoot! I've been planning this for just about ever. Also... we're nearing the end... Which means I should start working on AMoH -groan-  
_

_The timeline in the last chapter is kind of confusing. First it was day, and I talked about the three hours and the bracelets. Then it was the same day, and I talked about Beast Boy. Then it was night, with Terra, and the next day with Beast Boy. This is the second night. Sorry for confusion._

_Credit for Sandra to "Old Harry's Game," where she is the Prime Minister of England._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-six; Dreams  
**

Terra was dreaming. That in itself was not so strange. She dreamed often, most of it nonsensical garbage. This, however, was the farthest thing from it. This felt real. If it hadn't started off with a purple hippo called Sandra being elected president, she would have thought she was awake.

_Dream Sequence: Terra stood in the crowd at Sandra's inauguration, cheering as the last words were spoken._

"This is exciting, isn't it?" a person next to her asked. Their face was blurry, at the moment. Terra nodded.

"Yeah, it is."

"Did you ever think you'd see the next president being sworn into office?"

"No. I never thought about it."

"... It is a little bit odd, though, isn't it Terra? The president is a talking purple hippo."

Terra turned to the stranger, only to find out that it wasn't a stranger at all. It was Keb. And he was smiling at her, the true and genuine smile that she missed so much. He hadn't aged at all. He was still twenty-five, the same age he was on the day he had died.

"You're alive, too?" she gasped. Keb's smile faded. He looked sad now. He shook his head.

"I'm dead, Terra. But I've been watching over you - sort of like a guardian angel. I saw everything."

Terra looked down, ashamed of herself.

"I can't say I was always proud of your choices," Keb continued, "but I am proud of you. Mother and Luke are, too."

Terra looked around quickly. "Mom and Dad are here?"

"No, they're gone. Don't worry, though. I'm not leaving. I'm here to help you get out of here - well, not here, but, uh..."

Keb frowned when Terra giggled. "Get away from Rhea and Slade?"

Keb's eyes were sad to hear Terra talking about Rhea as a villain, but she was now and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Yeah. That. Beast Boy is coming. He'll be here by tomorrow, but I've words for him as well. You two, and Repeto, can beat Rhea and Slade if you work together."

"So I can trust Repeto?"

Keb nodded. "I trust him. If I was... alive, I'd trust him with my life. As it is, I trust him with yours."

"How are they... alive? Rhea, and Slade, I mean?" Terra blurted suddenly.

"They aren't. Well, Slade's not. Not really. It's confusing." Keb shook his head and looked at her seriously. "Listen to me, Terra. This isn't going to be easy to hear. Mother and Luke and I... we don't blame you for, you know..."

"Killing you," Terra whispered, cringing.

"It wasn't your fault. You regretted that it ever happened. You couldn't have stopped it and you didn't try to start it. We forgive you." He hugged her. "I forgive you, Terra, alright? But Rhea couldn't. There was something in her - I'm not sure what it was - but she couldn't forgive you. It smoldered and burned inside her, and I tried to talk sense into her, but it was no use. So she's here, and she hates you, and she'll kill you if she got the chance."

"She's had all the chances in the world. We've been living in the same place."

"No she hasn't. Not while I'm protecting you - and the Titans, and Repeto. She can't get close to you. But, Terra, she'll kill you. And I don't want that. I want you to go back to Jump City, live with the Titans, find a guy you like, get married, all of that. I want you to have a life. I won't always be able to protect you. Beast Boy and Repeto can't always be watching you. So it's up to you to make sure Rhea never gets a chance."

"What are you saying?"

"You have to kill her."

Terra flinched. "I don't want to. She's my sister. I don't want to kill anyone anymore."

"I know, Terra. I know. But Rhea..." Keb struggled for the word. "I... I can't explain properly. Rhea isn't Rhea. She's not your sister anymore. She's just another villain. I can tell you how to kill her, but you have to listen. Are you listening?"

Terra nodded.

"Good. Have Repeto sabotage the equipment. He knows where it is. Just tell him to cut the second wire from the left under the keyboard, and everything goes bye-bye. They won't be able to use the bracelets anymore, the one you're wearing or the one Rhea's wearing. You'll be able to use your powers. Slade won't be a big deal if the you two work together, and with Beast Boy too."

Everything was becoming blurry, and there was an underlying image, barely visible, of the dark farmhouse room underneath the dream image.

"I can't tell you any more now, Terra," Keb said. "Just remember what I said. Now I'm going to talk to Beast Boy." He hugged her tightly. Terra hugged him back, hoping that the dream wouldn't end so that she could be with her brother some more. He kissed her forehead, looked at her, and smirked. "Oh, one more thing..."

"Yeah?"

"Ask Repeto what his _real_ name is."

_Everything dissolved into technicolor bubbles. One by one, they popped, leaving her in the waking world. End Dream Sequence._

Terra sat up and looked around. It must have been about two in the morning. She knew that she had dreamed about Keb, but... what if it was only a dream? No. Dreams didn't leave her feeling warm and fuzzy and forgiven. Dreams didn't tell her to sabotage Slade and kill her sister.

Usually.

Repeto was dozing a foot away, his back resting against the wall, head lolling to one side. Terra put a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Repeto!" she whispered.

"Five more minutes, Mommy," he muttered. Terra shook his shoulder harder, whispered his name a little louder. He woke with a start and sat bolt upright. "What - huh?"

"I need your help. You know the room with all sorts of equipment in it? The equipment that controls the bracelets?"

"Yeah," Repeto said. He clenched his jaw hard, warding off a yawn, and rubbed one eye with the back of his hand.

"You're supposed to cut the second wire from the left... under... the keyboard."

"Who says?" Repeto said, frowning.

"No time to explain. Think you can do it now?"

"No. It sounds like you've got a story, and I want to hear it."

For a moment, Terra didn't want to tell him. But Keb trusted him and, if Keb did, Terra certainly did. She told him about her dream. He sat quietly, clearly skeptical.

"I know it sounds like it's just a dream, but - "

"The president was a purple hippo called Sandra? And you believe that this dream wasn't a dream?"

"Well, obviously, Sandra was just part of my imagination..." Terra knew, somehow, that the dream was real. She didn't know why Repeto, who had always been so understanding, suddenly didn't believe a word she said.

---Beast Boy---

Beast Boy had found a place in Ashkum, Illinois, to spend the night. It had been four in the afternoon when he arrived and, though he had made some inquiries, no one in the little town had heard of Terra, Rhea, or Slade. Beast Boy had checked into a little hotel and was anxiously trying to sleep. He was worried about Terra; it had been more than a week since Rhea had kidnapped her. Who knew what could have happened?

Beast Boy sat up, restless, but the moment he did he felt extremely sleepy and dropped onto the bed, asleep before he even hit the mattress.

_Dream Sequence. Beast Boy recognized where he was. Terra sat next to him. She begged him to be her friend, no matter what. He promised he would and leaned forward to kiss her._

"Please don't do that," said a partially scared, partially amused voice. Beast Boy opened his eyes and saw in front of him not Terra, but a man in his mid-twenties with dark blond hair and brown eyes. He looked somehow familiar. "If you would just lean back a bit? You're in my personal bubble."

"Sorry," Beast Boy said hurriedly, drawing back.

"Thanks. Hello, Beast Boy, it's nice to meet you at last. My name is Keb Miller. I'm Terra's half-brother."

Beast Boy's mouth dropped open. "But you're - you're - uh, ah, er..."

"Dead? Yeah, I know. Not all it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Really weird when someone walks through me." Keb shuddered.

Beast Boy was busy taking mental stock of himself, making sure he wasn't insane.

"Don't worry," Keb assured him. "You're not crazy. This is real. I'm here to help you and, by extension, my sister."

"But she killed you," Beast Boy said, confused. If someone had killed _him_, he wouldn't be talking about them in such a loving voice.

"Yeah, well, no hard feelings," Keb said, grinning.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Well, mostly the expression on your face. But all I've ever wanted for either of my sisters is for them to have a long and happy life. I gave my life up to protect them and, even though Rhea died that day anyway, Terra survived and she'll be happy once you and Rep help break her out."

"Rep?"

"Repeto. He's Slade's apprentice, though unwilling, and Terra's friend. I've been talking about him a lot, and it's easier to say Rep than Repeto."

"Right."

"Anyway, listen up, okay Beast Boy? I've got a lot to tell you."

"How do you know my name?" Beast Boy asked quickly.

"I've been hanging around Terra for the last eight years. If I didn't know your name, I'd worry. Will you listen now?" A wide-eyed nod from Beast Boy. "Good. Thank you. Okay. From here, Terra is exactly half a mile due west, in an abandoned farm house. You should burst in heroically at about... nine o'clock. Yes, that should be good. Repeto should be towering over Terra, who should be on the floor sobbing. Don't mind them, it's an act, you go straight for Slade."

"Slade?!"

"Oh, yeah, did I forget that?" Keb asked innocently. "Yeah. You go for Slade. Terra will take on Rhea." Keb frowned suddenly and looked sadly at his lap. "In order to be happy, Terra has to kill Rhea. She'll need you and Rep to be there for her. The three of you working together will be able to take down Slade and get the heck out of there. Got all that?"

"I think so. I got half a mile west at nine and take on Slade."

"Good boy. I'll be watching to make sure that nothing goes wrong." The dream-world began to dissolve. Keb said, "That's all I can tell you. Except... Remember, Beast Boy, Terra needs your friendship more than anything else." The tone of voice he used implied 'anything else' as a romantic relationship. Beast Boy nodded. Keb grinned.

_The world blurred and fragmented into the normal blackness. End Dream Sequence._

Beast Boy sat up and looked at the clock. Three in the morning. He set the alarm for eight, collapsed on the bed, and sank into a perfectly normal, dreamless sleep._  
_


	27. Fight

**_Author's Note:_**_ I got flamed! Yes! I'm so happy! Sorry, I can be weird sometimes. I don't mind flames. Anyway, there are maybe... Two chapters after this. Three at most. And I don't really like this chapter; battles aren't my strong point._**  
**

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-seven; Fight**

_B-b-beep! B-b-beep!_

The annoyingly loud alarm went off right in Beast Boy's ear. He groaned, as usual, fighting to go back to sleep, but his mind was awake enough to suddenly remember why he had set the alarm in the first place. Beast Boy sat bolt upright, turned off the alarm, and quickly glanced at the time. Exactly eight in the morning. Okay. He had time.

But how did he know that it wasn't just a dream? What if he traveled half a mile west and only found corn? It was a distinct possibility. There was a lot of corn here.

It was eight forty-five before Beast Boy stopped worrying and decided that, if there wasn't a farmhouse half a mile due west from here, he'd just keep looking until he found her. That made him anxious, but for different reasons. He was itching to be on his way. Beast Boy exited the hotel and flew anxiously in circles around it for ten minutes, allowing the internal compass that most birds have to calculate which way was west. Then he was on his way, his little birdie brain telling him exactly how far he'd flown.

Half a mile later, Beast Boy looked down and saw an abandoned farmhouse. Excited, he swooped down and peered in the window. Terra was there.

---Terra---

Even though he hadn't believed her, Repeto _had_ agreed to cut the second wire from the left under the keyboard. Then Terra had tested out her powers by levitating the pebble Repeto had given her all the way up to the ceiling. Repeto had believed her then, saying that she had to be telling the truth about Keb in her dream because there was no way that could have been a coincidence.

That had been a couple hours ago. Now, she was faking mental torture and listening to Slade taunt her. Beast Boy would be here any minute. She just had to wait until he got here, and then she'd be able to get out of this place.

_"Good girl, Terra,"_ Keb's voice whispered out of the thin air. _"Just a few more minutes..."_

"Are you ready to give up yet, child? The offer is still open. But you're too stubborn to admit defeat. You'll keep going until Repeto kills you," Slade taunted in his usual monotone. Terra did nothing. She would wait for Beast Boy to get here before rising to Slade's bait.

_"Don't tell me you're going to take that!"_ said Keb. _"... Even if it's true."_

"Where's Beast Boy?" Terra muttered.

_"Outside."_

"Okay, then." Terra gathered her legs under her and stood, brushing her hair out of her face. She glanced at Repeto and smiled.

"What's going on here?" Rhea snapped, confused.

Terra adjusted her clip so that she could see out of both eyes. Rhea screamed. Terra froze and looked around. She pinched herself, just to be sure that she was awake, and winced. Keb put a protective arm around her shoulders.

_"I told you it was a bad idea, Rhea. You should have listened,"_ he said. Now that he wasn't speaking solely to Terra, his voice echoed strangely. Rhea's eyes widened and she began to back away.

"You can't be here," she said, her voice trembling. "You went when Mom and Dad did."

Keb shook his head and pushed Terra forward. His arm went straight through her and they both shivered. _"I hate that feeling!"_ she heard him mutter.

Terra stepped in front of Keb, facing Rhea.

"I'm sorry, Rhea," she said.

Rhea laughed. "What can you do? Have you forgotten? I have your powers and you're helpless!" She lifted her hand in the same gesture that Terra often used when invoking her powers. Nothing happened. Rhea looked confused, and then angry, and then desperate. Terra flicked her wrist at Rhea. Manacles formed from the dirt floor and pinned Rhea's arms to her sides, her feet to the floor. Rhea struggled, of course. Terra reached into her pocket and took out Repeto's pebble again. She flattened her palm, showing it to Rhea as it drifted lazily into the air. Rhea stared, as if transfixed. Then the pebble shot forward, striking Rhea hard between the eyes.

She collapsed. Just like that, Rhea was dead. Again.

Terra sucked in a deep breath, fighting the immediate wave of horror, and turned. Keb was staring at Rhea's body sadly.

_"It was her own fault,"_ he murmured, but Terra wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or to her. _"If she could have let go of her pride... But she made her own choices." _He turned his attention to his other sister and smiled. _"I know it won't be easy for you, Terra. I'm sorry to have had to put that burden on you. Remember that both Beast Boy and Rep are there for you. I have to go. The next time you'll see me is the day that you die, but I'll be here with you. When you three beat Slade, I'll need to borrow Rep... just for a couple days._

_"Now, go help Beast Boy and Rep fight Slade! And don't forget what I said about Rep's real name." _He winked and faded slowly from sight. Terra wanted to cry. But she wouldn't not yet. She still had to fight. Beast Boy was on a rampage, trying to take Slade out, while Repeto was trying to stay out of the way. His powers weren't good in combat, and Terra knew he was awful at fighting.

Slade was busily fending off Beast Boy, who had pulled out all stops. The villain was pinned in a corner. Lucky for him, Tyrannosaurus jaws weren't made to cram into small corners. Beast Boy's teeth couldn't quite reach him, no matter what angle he turned his head at. Beast Boy could have gotten him pretty easily by changing into something else, but he had Slade immobile and that was more than he could usually say.

Terra had an idea.

Starting at his feet, Terra hardened the dirt floor into solid rock. She added to the rock, little by little, until Slade was almost totally encased in stone and panicking... in the calm, reserved, Slade sort of way. Beast Boy realized what she was doing and pulled away. Slade said nothing as Terra finished the project, grimly. Soon the villain was covered completely.

Terra forced a huge surge of her power into the statue. She could feel Slade become a stone, himself, fusing with the casing until there was no difference. Terra dropped her hands.

She was vaguely aware of Beast Boy saying her name, but Terra didn't acknowledge him. She turned and walked over to Rhea's body.

When she was eight, Terra hadn't gotten a chance to mourn her brother and sister. Keb clearly didn't want her to mourn him, but this was the second time Rhea had died at her hand and Terra wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. She knelt by her sister, struggling to maintain composure. It broke suddenly and Terra cried.


	28. Pride

**A Matter of Pride: Chapter twenty-eight; Pride**

Terra didn't normally cry. She could count the number of times she had cried in the last five years on her fingers. And when she did cry, Terra was alone. That wasn't the case this time, obviously. In a matter of seconds, she felt Beast Boy's arms around her and Repeto's hand resting on her shoulder. But Terra couldn't even acknowledge her friends. She felt like a child, unable to stem the tears but loathe to cry anymore. Neither Beast Boy nor Repeto moved.

She didn't how much later it was that she ran out of tears. Such an overused term, but it was true. She took a few deep, shaking breaths and looked at her friends.

"Thanks," she mumbled abashedly, rubbing her eyes.

"No problem," Repeto said, while Beast Boy answered with a quiet "Any time."

Terra stood, ignoring the way her legs shook slightly, and left the house. Beast Boy hurried to walk beside her while Repeto trailed a little bit behind. Terra was hurriedly trying to slip into her 'hero' persona - happy, glib, and sometimes too confident for her own good. Neither Beast Boy nor Repeto was buying her act, but it was comforting to her.

Outside, Terra looked at Repeto. "Keb said he needed to borrow you for something, so I guess we'll see you later," she said, a little bit sadly. In the life of a super hero, things happened quickly and Repeto was her friend. She liked him a lot.

"Ghosts, dead people, purple hippos!" Repeto said in exasperation. "Is it too late to go back to being a normal freak?" He hugged Terra briefly and shook Beast Boy's hand. "I'll visit your Tower sometime, if I'm allowed."

"I'll make sure you're welcome," Beast Boy assured him. Repeto smiled.

"What are you waiting for? You guys had better go."

Terra nodded and lifted a chunk of rock of carry her. Beast Boy transformed into a big eagle. Terra waved one more time to Repeto, and then she and Beast Boy were on their way back to Jump City and the Teen Titans.

---

They - the Titans - welcomed them back enthusiastically. Even Robin seemed happy, though that was probably Beast Boy's return more than hers. Raven... well, you could never really tell with Raven, but she seemed less frosty than usual. Terra smiled at everyone, except the standoffish Raven. She had the feeling that smiling would only provoke Raven.

Terra was allowed, again, to stay at the Tower. She loved it - what could be better than living with your best friends?

"The crime rate is starting to rise again," Robin said at breakfast, the day after she and Beast Boy had returned. "We need all the help we can get. Terra, would you mind becoming a full Titan again?"

Terra's mouth dropped open, revealing a mash of mostly-chewed waffles. She shut her mouth again quickly and swallowed. "R-really?"

Robin nodded. "We could use your help. And I think you deserve it."

Terra fumbled for something to say, but Robin had left by the time she found her voice. Beast Boy, the only other one in the room, whooped and gave her a congratulatory hug.

Terra was a Titan. She couldn't wait until Repeto showed up; he'd be happy for her, too.

---

A month passed and Terra had settled right back in to being a Titan. She did any training Robin told her to, and some extra, and fought her hardest in battle. She wanted to remove any doubt that she was anything less than fully devoted to living up to her title. Raven still didn't trust her, obviously; the sorceress looked like she suspected Terra of working against them all the time, and using the extra effort to win everyone over.

Everyone else told Raven she was being paranoid.

Terra got along well with the rest of the Titans. Starfire used her to test all of her latest concoctions, since Terra didn't mind the strange food - it was no better than a week old cheeseburger fished out of a dumpster - and even quite enjoyed it. I mean, really, who wouldn't like pickled Zorkaberry Glifnorgs? Beast Boy claimed that he was practicing his video game skills with Terra so that he could be better than Cyborg. Cyborg said that Terra, unlike Beast Boy, could actually give him a run for his money.

Repeto had yet to show up. Terra couldn't help but be worried. What if, on whatever job Keb wanted him for, Repeto had gotten hurt, or even killed?

She told herself to stop worrying, that he was probably having trouble moving from Ashkum to Jump City, as he couldn't fly and didn't have his own car.

But she couldn't stop worrying.

As the days passed, Terra became used to the small, nagging worry. She could ignore it, function in spite of it, but it was always there. She noticed a change in Raven's attitude, as well. The dark Titan seemed to trust her more, after a month of showing no signs of ill will. Raven could stand to be in the same room as her, now, even if they were always as far away from each other as the room would allow. It was a start. They weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination, but they were getting there.

So, basically, life was good. Even the increase in crime wasn't hard to manage with five other people helping.

---

Two more months passed without hide or hair of Repeto. Terra had resigned herself to the fact that she probably wouldn't see him again.

She had rather expected Beast Boy to ask her out, but he admitted to her that he wasn't as in love as he had thought, and any romantic feelings for Terra had died down. Terra thought she would be offended by that, but she found that it didn't hurt at all. She was alright with it. (She couldn't help laughing a little when he went on to admit that he had a crush on Raven, of all people. He got defensive, but he must have known how ridiculous and unexpected it was because he laughed as well.)

Raven didn't know about Beast Boy's crush, obviously. He was still in this dimension, after all. And in one piece.

At the moment, Beast Boy had somehow convinced Raven into going grocery shopping with himself and Terra. His excuse was that Terra didn't know her way around the store very well and he only knew where the tofu was, where-as she knew her way around pretty well. Raven had conceded to the fact that they were both idiots and had accompanied them.

"...Okay, next item on the list... Tofu!" Beast Boy announced cheerfully.

Terra, walking in front of him, turned around and laughed. She was walking backwards now. "Beast Boy, you've said that three times now! You're the only one that eats it - how much tofu do you need?!"

"I'm a growing boy! I eat a lot!"

"We know, we live with you," grumbled Raven. "It smells horrible while it cooks. And it takes forever to scrub off of the pans."

"And another thing," Terra continued, "why didn't you just get loads of it when we were there the first time, instead of putting it on the lis - Oh! I'm sorry!" She was still walking backwards, not paying attention to where she was going, and had crashed into someone.

"That's alright," replied a familiar voice. Terra whirled around and was met with a pair of very familiar brown eyes.

"Repeto!" she squeaked, throwing her arms around him. Repeto laughed and hugged her back. "Where were you?! Keb said you'd be gone for a couple days! Did you get into trouble or anything? Were you hurt?!"

"And this is..." drawled Raven. The two former apprentices stopped hugging and Terra turned to her friends. Beast Boy was grinning at Repeto.

"Sorry! Raven, this is Repeto. Repeto, Raven, one of my teammates."

"Pleased to meet you. Terra's told me a lot about you." Repeto held out his hand for Raven to shake.

Raven took the hand, one eyebrow raised in a way that might have been controlled amusement or judgment, or a number of other emotions. "Likewise, although Terra never mentioned you." They shook.

"But why're you here, Rep? And how long are you staying?" Terra asked excitedly. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed movement. Beast Boy was reaching for Raven's hand, though he was staring with interest at the opposite shelf.

"I thought it was about time I came for a visit," Repeto answered with a shrug. "I also kind of wanted to find an apartment and get a job here. Lovely climate... I've never been this close to the Pacific."

Terra smiled. Even with her family dead by her hand (twice, in Rhea's case) she couldn't imagine being happier in that moment. She was a Titan - a glance at Beast Boy and Raven made her grin, as Beast Boy had managed to take her hand without getting himself blown up - and Keb had forgiven her, and one of her best friends was going to live in the same city.

In a way, she was glad for Rhea's pride.

**End**

**_Author's Note: _**_Sorry for the bad ending, everyone, and thanks for sticking with me this long! I hope you enjoyed Terra's adventures, even if they weren't as exciting as I'd have liked. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Oh, Suzaku, this is the second story I've ever finished. -shudder-_


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